Unprepared

[mum Z]

16hrs since I received that scripted phone call from my son. Unaware of the "scripted" part and or length of phone call (48 sec). I could hear stress in his voice. Also unaware of being able to have accompanied him to his recruiter meetings for preparation on what to expect after final swear in. Maybe he thought I wouldn't have been as supportive had I attended. Definitely unprepared for this journey. Never been away from my three children. My heart feels heavy. Experiencing detachment with my children becoming adults and leaving NEST that's been built with a strong foundation with walls insulated with ADT security. Now not even being able to communicate with my middle child and only son. I feel as if I'm grieving or had a loss. Emotions from PROUD, SAD, UNCERTAIN, EXCITED for his journey, and LONGING to hear him say "I'm going fishing". Never thought it would be so hard to fold his clothes, walk past his door, pick up his shoes, or not hear his car crank. Wondering if there are other navy moms who have experienced these feelings? Today only cried once and here I am writing without tissues thanks to the support from another navy mom (whose ex navy chief).  

[JJ]

Give it to God baby. I'm sorry for the stress you are experiencing.  It will be alright. 

[scootersmom94]

Well I certainly feel all of those things as well. You are certainly not alone. My baby and only son, I also have a daughter (24) (he's 19 and cringes when I call him that) left this past Wed. the 25th. I was not prepared enough...somehow the finality has set in. This is it. With the exception of graduation and his break after A School I am not going to see him for very long stretches. I dont think I'm built to withstand that. He and I are very close. His father and I are divorced and he wasn't the supportive type. I am trying to get my head wrapped around the fact that I wont see him for the holidays or his birthday. I am so PROUD of what he is doing and in fact what he has wanted to do since he was a little boy. But as his mom, I am struggling. I cry whenever someone asks me about him or Im just at home/work/gym/bank its just so spontaneous. We all just have to stick together. They are all doing an awesome thing! We are MOMS we will get through this. 

[mgrmom]

I can totally relate how you are feeling.  My son left on Tuesday, September 24th and I am filled with emotions.  The hardest part is not hearing his voice.  My heart feels like it has been ripped out.  I had this same feeling when my oldest

son went to college but I was able to communicate with him.  I am hoping to find other Mom's whose son/daughter left for Boot Camp on September 24.  

[Sheree]

Hi, my son arrived on the 24 th as well. He sounded great when I got the call. I might have even gotten his box of belongings. I had a fed ex sticker on my door. I was not home. So they will try to deliver again. Yesterday I went to the recruiter office and they looked up his address for me. I sent my letters out. I miss him immensely. However I try to be positive. I'm counting the weeks for graduation. 8 weeks and counting.

[Liberty]

Hi Mum Z-

 I just saw this and wanted you to know that you are not alone. I cry every time I get on this site! My son will leave in February and I am brokenhearted  because I fear for his safety once he is finished with training. But...there is nothing that I can do about the situation, so I am learning to deal with it- I guess....So, you must have gotten the box and a letter by now?

I hope that your son is doing well and that you are feeling a little better!

[New2Navy]

My 19 year old daughter (my youngest child) leaves Oct. 8th, I am so distraught now, and yesterday when she was cleaning out her room, and again last week when she had her long hair cut off.  It is hard for me to type this now as I can barely see the keys...warm hugs   debi

[beths#14/361]

I was in your exact position a few months ago.  My youngest, a daughter, sprung it on me in June she wanted to join the Navy.  She signed up for the delayed entry and I thought I had a year to adapt, but needless to say, she went in early, last July!   I cried for weeks. I experienced the grief emotions as if hs had died.  I heard the exhaustion and stress in her voice on those first couple of phone calls home and cried some more.  Still in all, every night, I wrote a very positive and upbeat letter to her no matter how difficult it was for me.  After a few weeks, things started turning around.  Her letters were confident, she sounded very certain of her choice, and she thanked me for the support, the encouragement, and the laughter.  I won't lie, for a mom, it was a very long couple of months.  However, last Friday, I got to experience PIR!  OMG... there are NO words to describe it really.  Could use amazing, awesome... but that doesn't even begin to describe the look you will see on your sailors face as soon as they make the liberty call!!!  Hang in there.  Lean on the moms here to get you through these next few weeks.  Trust me.  It will all be worth it!!

 

[tjhannick]

I think EVERY mom has experienced some or all of those feelings! I know I did. I am convinced there was not a day I didnt cry for a month. I never expected to feel that way or to miss him like I have. We are counting down the days until we see him (9) at PIR. You will make it and so will he but be prepared for the first letters and calls that he will sound miserable. That was so hard to hear all that and know I couldnt help him. Keep your chin up and join all the groups on FB that you can. There will be one for PIR date and for A school and Boot Camp. They are a huge support system for me!

[Dittersmom]

OH!  I am so glad that you said something.  I really feel for you.  I have a friend who's son left 5 weeks ago.  They were in your same boat and their son was writing everyone, but his family.  His mom wrote every third day and they finally heard from him a few days ago. I am new to this site and am still trying to figure it all out.  I have a son with a ship date of January 14th.  I haven't experienced him being gone, but I am so Proud of him and scared at the same time.  He is the 3rd of my six kids and is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve.  I am worried that he will loose that special part of himself.   I try not to think about him leaving.  He has decided that he wants to get more college credits, before he ships, so he started classes yesterday.  The college thing is easier.  He is here and reachable.  I have no idea what I am going to do when he is gone and we can't talk. 

[TJsMom SHIP 03 DIV 021]

I am right there with you. My son left Monday (its now wed) and sad describes it, but times 10! Very short scripted phone call and that was it. I almost laughed, but it was over so fast, not to be insensitive, but because it wasn't him. I have been divorced a long time, so it has been the 3 of us (me, my daughter and son) for a very long time. Separation anxiety? You bet! My dad was in the Marines for 20, my brother the Army for 20, so I know a bit about military life. Its just different when its your son.

I cant go in his room. Even the dogs are acting weird, looking for him. I see some responses here for you are all about the pride stuff, be proud and all that. I am sure you are proud. I am too! But I had him before the Navy and loved him everyday of his life. Letting go is hard. It hurts.

I don't mean to come across negative. I am just sensitive and caring. Like you, he is my only son. I hope you get through this ok. I just wanted to reach out to you. Your note here reflected my thoughts, too.

A virtual hug to you. xxoo

 

[GoNavy]

Hi guys- It really is tough! I will be sending my second son to bootcamp in June. It was hard with my first- but now it's my youngest! Holy Cow!

Anyway, this is what I decided to do to help with the stress. I compiled an information FAQ sheet to give to my local recruiting offices. I offered to go in and speak to the DEP groups on occasion about what to talk to their families about. I jumped in with both feet to find any and all information I could regarding the process. I was able to give them not only avenues for support (navyformoms, navydads, naydep, etc) I was able to give the deppers places to go augment their studies like websites with flash cards.

It's how I deal with it, but I tell you, the more I educated myself the better I felt. This website has been a HUGE support for me- get on your PIR group...you will know when phone calls are coming etc. These ladies on here will be your rock! 

[navymomsue]

My son leaves tomorrow for bc.  Heart is heavy.