Unsure wife

[Proud_ Wife 2009]

I am not a mom, but am a wife who's husband is considering the Navy. I was searching for places to find advice for family members and was led to this site. After many talks with my husband, I know that this is something that he wants to really consider and look further into further. Right now I feel as if some days I don't know up from down since he told me about his interest in the Navy. I am scared, nervous, proud, anxious. Are the emotions I am feeling normal? I support my husband don't get me wrong, I don't know what to expect having never lived the military life. If anyone has any advice that I can take with me and help me get through this difficult time I would greatly appreciate it. I appreciate each and every one of your sons, daughters and loved ones that are serving now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[BunkerQB]

Motto for Navy is "Honor, Courage, Commitment"
Motto for Navy wife is "Patient, Understanding and Self-reliant"

I am a Navy mom - the above came from one of my young friends who is a Navy wife. Another also added, "Resourceful, Frugal and Strong"
I have met some incredible young wives through this site. You will make friends here and will find support. Best of luck to you and your future sailor.

[ChrisAmo]

It won't be easy, you'll have to be prepared for long separations when he's deployed. But it's an opportunity for you to grow as a person. The Navy will change both of you, for the better. He'll learn the meaning of commitment and teamwork and you'll discover how strong you really are. My son is on deployment right now and his wife is so busy with work and her interests she hardly has time to mope around. If your hubby is set on joining the Navy then by all means encourage him and be a loving supportive wife. It makes all the difference in the world when you each know you have one another's back.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

All of your emotions are normal! My fiance has always wanted to be a naval officer and I knew that about him when we first got together (we were best friends a long time) but still when he swore in and the weeks before he left for officer candidate school, I was very scared and anxious. I didn't know what to expect, what my life was going to be like, etc. I asked a TON of questions- I was very fortunate that we knew a lot of retired navy, and some active duty. He's only been in a year and a half, and basically I'm still asking questions all the time, haha. Things are always changing! I love to learn (I'm a veterinary student) so it's good for me and I love learning about it. I think navy life is exciting and although it can be VERY challenging (I don't get to live with my fiance and won't for two and a half years after we get married, he's gone a lot- he's been gone probably about 75% of that year and a half so even if I did live with him I wouldn't see him and that doesn't include deployment, etc.) it has such great rewards! The network of support you will get as a navy wife is fantastic. Your husband will have job security. And he is doing something you can be very proud of!
I would highly recommend going to this group:
Girlfriends, Fiances, Wives of Sailors
There are lots of girls there asking for advice and lots of helpful hints.
Oh- and I was like you- had never lived the military life, had no military family, etc. All my military friends I met through him. But you can do it! My biggest piece of advice is be flexible- things are never for certain in the military. If you learn to relax, go with the flow, and trust your sailor, everything will work out okay in the end :)

[WifeyForLifey!!]

I would sit down with him and honestly decide if this is a good option for your family. Write down the best and worst case scenarios and changes that will happen and decide if this is best. I don't know your situation, although I do know it is a LOT of work, especially at first.

The pros: You will become closer as a couple, you have to be strong and work hard at your family and relationship.
- Job security, and a steady paycheck
- He will learn new skills
- You will see many interesting new places, and meet great people.
- Great health insurance, and life insurance for that matter.

Some cons: - Expect to not see him much...honestly. From my short experience as a navy wife, I have seen my husband only twice since he enlisted 5 months ago.
- He will miss many important family occasions, Christmases, birthdays, Thanksgiving, anniversaries, etc.
- You will have double the work, and basically become a single parent until he comes home...

Good luck with your decision, there are major pros and cons for both sides, but I would say that this should be a joint decisions, since you will put in just as much work at this as him. The Navy is a lifestyle..., and sometimes not pleasant ..others heartwarming.