Struggling

[bethr311]

Tomorrow is two weeks since my only child left MEPS for GL. I got the "I'm here" call. I got the box. I got the form letter, with no note. I agree, without the lines to add a note, most of our sons, who are often less communicative than girls, won't.
But I'm unraveling. I keep telling myself NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. I write cheery supportive letters. I pray.
But with each day that goes by I worry a little more. I had to leave a gym class today and go have a little bathroom breakdown.
Am I crazy? Overreacting?
I HOPE HOPE HOPE they got time to write Sunday and I get a letter tomorrow.
Beth

[elizabeth/ mom ship 13 div 294]

hang in there....boys will be boys  even when they become young men.so writing and extra note!?!  .   Your son is most likely becoming the man he always was suppose to aspire to be.   This is his moment....the moment  you have guided him to.  have the faith that you did it right...as I am sure you did.  let him amaze you with what he can do with that.

[Tina (4/9/12)]

Hey Beth, the best word I can tell you is all your feelings are so normal.  Hard to believe it but you will both make it through this.  My youngest graduated 6/1/12 and is now in CT.  I look back a few months and can't believe I was so stressed.  Keep a positive attitude in your letters and also keep busy it really helps.  Best of luck to you and your SR.

[Johanna]

Hey Beth, wish I was there to give you one of my famous hugs! Your son made the right choice for him,
but only because you got him to that point. He is incredibly busy and really tired. He thinks of you all the time.
He just has a pretty packed schedule. You can't take the mind set that just because you haven't heard from him, that something is wrong. He is fine. Ok, it is Boot Camp, so it's not a great time, but you need to support him all the way. Write to him about your day, your errands, work, etc. The most mundane parts of your day will seem like Disney World to him. Tell him you miss and love him, but remember, he has. job to do and you need to be REALLY positive in your correspondence. Hugs and kisses to both of you. Getting ready for my second and youngest to head out in a few days.
It's never easy, but we all need to stay strong for them. Hugs, Johanna

[Bathan6]

Beth,

 I promise, and I really do mean PROMISE it will get easier, 8 weeks ago I was in your shoes, when I got the form letter I hurry and flipped through the pages to see if he added a HI MOM, Nada, Yeah it hurt, but then I got GOLDEN info in that letter, #1 I got an Address and #2 I got a PIR date. 

By week 3 or 4 you should get a call, best sound ever, almost like the first cry when they are born LOL. I yammered on, and my son let me, said it was like he was home. But I got what information I needed from him, that he was OK and that while hard on him he was surviving..

 I worte him every other day, write about anything and everything, no matter how mundane it sounds, they live for these, Like for example, one day I wrote my son and told him, You know I tripped over your damn shoes AGAIN, I thought I put them away. he laughed at that, but he said he could just picture me saying it.

 His first letter home was heart wrenching, be prepared, mine said he cried each morning because he missed his friends and family, and it sucked with out that support.  His 2nd letter was about the 4th of July  it was his first Holiday with out family and he said it was hard, but the food was great, and told me all about it, Honestly made me hungry,  His last letter (I only got 3) since he was also writing his School friends... He said while it was hard and times he wanted to give up it wasnt so bad, he is looking forward to his New Duty station  and mostly looking forward to his graduation.

 This Friday I will be one very super proud mom as I watch my Sailor (Whom is also in the band and preforming) march in that great hall with his fellow brothers and sisters, and graduate. Yes it was tough and yes it was hard on us all but I will also look at it this way...... My son is exactly where HE wants to be doing exactly what HE wanted to do,   in his last letter he told me and I will carry this with me in my heart..... Mom, The Navy may have made me a man, but I will always be your kid!!!!..... Honestly I think he is looking for homemade Brownies. But it is true, the change I hear in his voice and see in his letters is there.... You will make it momma, join some of the facebook groups, those moms too are a great source of support as they are here... You can always friend me and chat when you need to, we have all been in your shoes at one time or another, 

Christina

[ProudMomof4]

bethr311,

My SR has been gone for 4 weeks today.  I understand how you feel. Even though I know he is fine I struggle with the waiting to hear something.  Some in his division sent letters after the 2nd Sunday.  I had to wait until after the 3rd Sunday to get my first letter.  This is my oldest child and it is so hard to go from see and talking everyday to hoping for a letter.  Before this the longest I went without hearing from my son was one week. Keep writing and praying. I think as moms we will always worry, so I won't say don't worry.  I hope you get a letter this week too!

 

[Rita]

I hear you, Beth. It is extremely difficult to go without communication for so long. Especially knowing that BC is hard. my son left 6/6 and I am better but it is still hard. Here are things that I have done to help my self. Cry---it helps. Talk to friends. Talk to a therapist---------it was that bad for me so I did. I pray----a lot. I get other people to pray. Write supportive letters often. Sometimes it was so bad that I repeated a mantra over and over until I calmed down: "God is caring for my son! God is caring for my son!" Keep your phone with you at all time. Stay with this website---it helps. And repeat all of the above over and over until it gradually gets better. It will, I promise.

Oh and exercise does blow off anxiety so try taking walks when you become really upset.

[bethr311]

Thank you all for your virtual hugs! I think that's my biggest fear: that he's miserable and in pain. He'd rather take a physical beating than go to the dentist. If they pull wisdom teeth, does anyone know when? He's never had any surgery.
I had to smile at the exercise part. I work out like it was a second job, 90 minutes today.
I'll keep keeping on. Thanks Moms!

[jlamommy]

Awe Beth my son will be 2 weeks tomorrow that darn navy commercial came on I started crying like A baby. Our kids until they are parents will never understand our love for them. They hurt we hurt. My friend a retired navy man said its way hardee on you than them and no news is good news. So I remember that while I'm stalking the mailman and he has no letter!! Cry it's our mom right and be proud at what an amazing journey our kids are taking. Xoxo

[Loriemae - AD Rating - PIR 7/27]

Bethr311 - I am out running errands and saw your post...I. had to respond right away. You are NOT crazy and you are not overreacting. In my opinion, yu are feeling just what you should be at this point. The stage you are at was the hardest time for me...waiting for that first letter. I had meltdowns driving to work, watching tv, at the grocery store...my poor husband didn't know what to do sometimes. I promise you this.....it does get better....my sailor's PIR is this Friday and I never thought it would get it. It does! Keep sending those positives, keep coming back to this site....the ladies here will be your lifeline and yes keep telling yourself No News is Good News. Your SR is in good hands with the Navy. And remember your SR choose this path....a path of courage, honor and valor....be proud...you have done your job well.

[rnterry 04/817 PIR 7/27 alumni]

Oh Beth, No not crazy or overreacting just missing your child, who has become an adult.  I really lost it when my Son left because the fact that he really was leaving and what that meant really, really hit home.  There were so many times I would be somewhere and have to stop or go off somewhere and cry.  You just have to go with it, allow yourself the feelings, they sure are real and even though it doesn't seem like it will get better, it will!  Soon you will start getting letters and that helps so much, then out of the blue you will see the 847 area code and it will be your SR.  Before you know it, you will be getting ready for PIR.  Keep busy with flights, car rental, all the details of your trip, makes it feel real.  Stay on this site and if there is an email group for your SR's div. join that, there you can refer to your SR by name and that helps as well. 

Some days it is one minute at a time.  They can't write until they get out of processing and that will take at least a week, maybe longer if it takes time time to fill their division.  Then as it appears you know they write on Sunday and usually I would get my letters on Thursdays.  Love Thursdays. 

Good for you for reaching out, were with you girl.  Hanggggg in there! :) Terry

[Jean-9 ship07div113]

OH my goodness.  I was you a year ago February.  My son did not write at all even when I sent him form letter; stamps; addresses; envelopes etc and he sent back NOTHING!  The good news is that he survived and went on to A-School, was one of the top in his class and is now stationed as a Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class only 2 hours from home!  The Navy for Moms network was amazing and I made so many really great friends that I still keep in touch with.  There is even a mom who's daughter was on ship duty with my son who gave me more information about him than I ever got directly from him. LOL. Got to love the mommy network. 

Please take care, keep writing the letters because they really do like them and know that even though it seems like forever, you will get a call and it will be wonderful!

[Maggs]

Beth. my sailor has been in Japan for years. BC seems like an age away!  My 8 weeks worry is nothing, to my years of wondering what new adventure he is going through.  I had a neighbor who's son went to boot camp a year before mine. She did not do well, all she talked about was having him home. She got her wish. He was separated from the Navy halfway through BC. Sometimes they get sick, sometimes they cant get through it. Remember, you are his solid ground, you are what he needs to help him. He may not tell you he needs you, you may not hear he misses you. He does.. You must be strong, and cry with your friends on here. We know what you are going through, we know how you feel. Give him the strength, give us the sorrow.. we can take it...