Comment

Comment by Paymaster on January 27, 2011 at 9:49am

Scott's mom....Sounds like your husband is making the separation of your son is a boy to your son is a man in his eyes. 

 

We dealt with our children leaving differently.  We had them clean there room out before they left.  I wasn't keeping a shrine to them.  Once they moved out I new they would never move back.

 

Perhaps you can make a deal with your husband.  Start by cleaning out your daughters room and remake it into something that you will use, then once you complete that, then start on your son's room, by then he should be done with BC. 

Comment by Scott's mom (Ship 12 / Div 091) on January 27, 2011 at 8:09am

Here's one for you guys....Our son is on week 3 of BC. My problem or issue is that my husband wants to clean out our son's room. Husband says: - Now that he has gone into the Navy he won't be wanting to "come" home or will not be able to come home when he wants. I know he won't be able to come when ever he wants but I don't want to "tear down" his room or make it into something else. The "what if" didn't work on my husband....he said boys just don't come home like the girls. But there are things that he could not take to BC or be able to have due to size of his future room. Rent storage was a suggestion...other friends that went before our son have done that. I don't think that's something that needs to be done or at least not right now, it's not like he has 32 years worth of stuff like us. 

The comments that our daughter has been out of the house for 4 years and still has a room set up at our house...with things that never moved with her....doesn't seem to be an issue with the husband. It stayed in place while our daughters  husband was out of the county. (He was Army, has been home now for a year and half....done with his contract.) So she would have a place to come to with her child if needed. That has back fired....when she / they come they will stay or assume they come just come and stay or leave the baby here sometimes. (Oh, they only live a mile away!) Son-in-law's parents have come and stayed here at times when visiting...not an issue...we enjoy seeing them too.

We also have a "baby / little person room" set-up doesn't seem to have an issue with that.

We have always been a close knit family...we still see my husbands parents at least twice a month if not more and have both sides of the family together on holidays. His parents still have "kids" space at there house and they are in their 70's..... I think its just hoping that one of will stay and take care of them when it's needed. :)

So, who's going to win this? Or is it too fresh for me to see it his way? Or maybe we should just buy a smaller house!

What do you think...for those that are there before me?

Comment by Kimberly on January 27, 2011 at 12:44am

Pat i am so sorry. My sailor did the same thing when he was home at Christmas anything I said was back to what's your problem? Then he would go to his dad it became a bounding issue with them against me. In high school I was always the one he came to. I usually call him twice a week only for a few minutes. We play words with friends. I really think it is an independence thing

Comment by Blanche on January 26, 2011 at 10:58pm

I'm so sorry pat. Maybe he's just trying to find his independence. Maybe it's just a phase. You'll always need family. Hopefully things will change soon . Miranda is so new in the navy that I haven't experienced that yet. I'm sure you, re not alone.

Comment by carols_kitchen on January 26, 2011 at 6:04pm

Kelly, I also miss all the friends who came over.  They all had the garage door code, and came and went, and emptied the refrigerator--lol

Comment by Renick ET on January 26, 2011 at 1:44pm

Grandson... I wish. I would love to hear from my son, three more weeks of boot, ugh. I think after boot camp things will slow down considerably for him. So, I feel that rather than ask him about what will happen next in his career, I will just ask him what he did today. Whether it be, scrubbed the lightbulb to learned circuitry, I think the trick will be to not ask about A School, C school, fleet, etc. He's got a long 6 year road ahead of him and I want to make sure he takes me along for ride, virtually speaking!

Comment by Kelly on January 26, 2011 at 12:57pm

hi emptynesters i have been an emptynester for a long time my son join the navy late in his life (start date 10-06-10) but i miss him coming over and us just talking and sitting at the table eating and speinding time playing with my grand son i still babysit my grand son but we miss his dad

Comment by Blanche on January 26, 2011 at 8:18am

I,m for sister sharing time but you d have to come to florida. I just got off the phone with miranda! It was so good to finally hear her voice.

Comment by carols_kitchen on January 26, 2011 at 7:52am

Welcome to Maryl59 (Ship02 Div917)

 

Who is helping with baseboards?  Or do we start an Emptynesters share a day to clean with each each other?  But, then, would we get any work done if we were all sharing sister-time??

Comment by Renick ET on January 26, 2011 at 12:47am

Blanche, you can come to my house and help me with my baseboards! How do you get so motivated? If there's some secret, please share as I have not been the mood to do much. Good for you, I hope it is contagious.

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