Comment

Comment by ProudGMBarb on June 18, 2011 at 1:38am

Lizzy....INDOC (Indoctrination)...yes...about a week's worth...then ATT...then A school.

Comment by Vickimed(AECF-ET) on June 18, 2011 at 1:16am

Jodia tell your son congrats. I know he is excited on receiving his orders. A new adventure. Just got home from picking Chris up at the airport.He is so excited to be home. He posted something on his facebook page that kinda brought a tear. Said "The only thing that sucks about flying home to see my family, is leaving the family I made here behind." I kinda think of him as mine(a grown man but remembering my little boy) but this changing new life that he is now living I have to realize that his world has now expanded greatly. I am truly excited for him and for all the possibilities that can open up for him. We are retired military and have friends that we made 30 years ago in flight school and they are very much our family. Oh well being sentimental is over. Anyway he had to text his friends back at GL, the Captain of the plane came up to him in coach and asked him if he was active duty. Then he told him we have a first class seat up front for you. Then thank him for his service.Then the Captain made an announcement that Chris XXXXX has now joined first class. I told him that was a little different leaving Great Lakes from the way he went to Great Lakes almost 13 months ago.

Comment by Elizabeth on June 18, 2011 at 1:03am

INDOC?

Comment by Sandy's_sailor son on June 18, 2011 at 12:24am

Jodia, congratulations to your Sailor. I am glad that you live near to him now. He is almost next door, LoL

Comment by ProudGMBarb on June 17, 2011 at 10:01pm

Lizzy, I'm hoping you read Vickymed's reply in detail. It's nice to know that you'll be planning a court wedding; however, I think it is very important to make sure his and your questions are answered when he goes through INDOC. There have been times when people are in a rush making these and other important types of decisions, then blame the NAVY when things don't go as they thought they would. I think everyone here is trying to tell you to sit back, relax, enjoy PIR, and wait until after INDOC before either of you even start any planning or setting any dates.

What do the rest of you Moms/Wives say...isn't that best? Hey Angie....can you tell us if we are giving Lizzy sound advice?

Comment by Elizabeth on June 17, 2011 at 7:37pm

he wants a court wedding, i guess when he is in school so i will go up there so i can be with him i just got of the phone with him. adn he wants me to be up there when he is in school

Comment by ProudGMBarb on June 17, 2011 at 3:47pm

Jodia...Congrats to your sailor and to you too! Ahhhh...San Diego! Great place.

Comment by Sandy's_sailor son on June 17, 2011 at 2:54pm

Lizzy, I agree with all these great Navy moms. They all brought up some very valid points.

As far as PIR week end goes, believe me, your Sailor is going to be exhausted. A lot of these divisions have their Battle Stations only a couple of days before PIR. My son said that he almost fell asleep standing. I would wait until your Sailor wants to talk about making plans to marry before I would even bring it up. With moving to (A)school, a week of INDOC and getting used to being a Sailor. He has a lot on his plate. I would not sneak and get Married. There are reasons why the Navy wants the couple to talk to his Chief first before getting married. Even though nothing will happen. It might go down on his record that he does not follow orders/rules. It just won't look good if you guys sneak off to get married. You want his Chief/RDC to have respect for your Sailor.

Your Sailor can wait until he is on the (A)school side of base to get a chit to be married during Christmas Stand Down. I know of one couple from here who did just that.

Please understand that your Sailor is under a lot of stress. There is a lot to adjust to. There is no countdown clock when it comes to marriage. Just be loving and supportive. The rest will follow.

I wish your and your Sailor the best.

Comment by ProudGMBarb on June 17, 2011 at 2:21pm

Lizzy...I also ditto everything Vickimed just said. I'll just throw in a couple pennies worth of my two cents! Planning a wedding is always a joyous yet stressful time in anyone's life..no matter what their age or phase of their life. Right now, your sailor is taking steps to be able to have a successful and stable future for both of you. How well he focuses on his schooling/training and his GPA will greatly determine how successful he is. A lot of that success depends on him being able to focus 100% on school, along with knowing that he has his loved ones support to see him through it. Granted, this portion can seem like it lasts forever, (up to two years depending on type of school) but it is such a small portion and short time compared to the rest of his career in the Navy, as well as the rest of your life you will have as his wife.

You know the old saying..."behind every successful man...stands a woman." Be that woman. Show him how proud you are when you see him on PIR weekend. He is going to be sooooo happy, proud, yet exhausted at the same time. He will have just been through tremendous mental and physical efforts.

So, feel him out. Start discussions about wedding planning only if he wants to. He might not want to have to deal with any important issues that weekend.

Celebrate his graduation, and as Vickimed already said, when he starts INDOC, all yours and his questions will be answered, and you will both then be able to move forward making informed decisions without having to guess at things. Patience and giving up control is something all us Moms/Wifes/Grandmas/Girlfriends have had to learn with being part of the Navy. Everything always works out...maybe not exactly how and when we want, but it does. The most important thing is the success and safety of our sailors....everything else will follow. We play a big role in that success by the attitude we have, and the support we give them.

Hang in there, enjoy PIR, and let him get settled, mentally and physically, with his new way of life. Hopefully, INDOC will clear up a lot of questions. Hugz to you!

Comment by Vickimed(AECF-ET) on June 17, 2011 at 11:05am

Lizzy you ask alot of questions that we can only answer from experience but everyones experience can be a little different.Some of us can say that this is the rule then someone else will say that it was different for them. Which may be confusing. The rule is You will not be able to married on PIR weekend.(Nor will he be able to smoke, drink,  drive a car or go more that 50 miles from base.) He will NOT get leave while he is in school. The best time to get married for you (by listening to what you are saying) is during Christmas stand down. Then when he finishes his school at GL and PCS (Permanent Change of Station) to his first duty you should be able to go with him as his dependent. When I said earlier about the number of days on his orders, His orders will say( especially if school orders) the number of days this school will last.If it is under (i think) 6 months the military will not pay to move you because he want be there long enough and the cost is not effective. That is why I said PCS orders.  Setting the date is something you should talk to him about after he graduates his Basic. Making plans for your wedding will be something special that you two can be able to plan. He will go to his A school at Great Lakes also. When he starts school one of the first stages of school is INDOC. They will tell them then about what he needs to know about getting married and being able to move his wife to his duty station. To be able to move with him on his next set of orders you need to be married before he gets those orders for the military to pay for you to be moved.With his A school ahead of him it will be at least next May or June at the earliest before he gets those orders.All the info that he will need to make everything happen for ya'll he will be given once he is in school. For now celebrate his graduating Basic. These last couple of weeks are the toughest and he will need your support. A school can be difficult also so keep that in mind. Becoming an ET or FC can be challenging and will cover alot of important material while in school. I tell you this because once yall decide on a date alot of the planning will be on you. His biggest focus should be on school. Again the Navy is spending alot of money on him to see that he knows what he should before reporting to his first ship. He is learning the foundation of his career. Good Luck to you both.

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