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Boyfriend leaves for bootcamp a DAY BEFORE my 21st birthday :/
My boyfriend and i been together for almost 3 yrs. The day the recruiter told him that he will be leaving Feb.6, my boyfriend said he instantly thought of me because my birthday is the day after he has to leave. When he told me that date, i was like "really... a day before my birthday". i am already trying to prepare myself so i can show him how confident and strong i can be when he goes through this new journey. is there any advice out there that can help me so i wont dwell on the fact that he leaves around a special time for me?
Views: 956
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Part of the way to deal with it is to go through a set of emotions... you can write your feelings down, scream in the shower, run it off. You have to find what works for you. It hurts, no matter what, and you can acknowledge that. But like a rock or lump of sadness, you have to find a way to let it go and not continue to carry it around.
This won't be the first special day he misses, so on the somewhat positive side, you're getting your "disappointment day" training early on. With the Navy, I learned to celebrate when possible, when we were together, not by dates on a calendar (although your 21st is kinda set in stone when it comes to an ID and so on).
Hang in there!
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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I say celebrate it early! I know obviously you can't go out it a bar and drink with him! But celebrate on another day! Have an unbirthday party (lol Alice in wonderland!!) one thing that happens a lot with military is special days are often missed or your sailor will be gone. It's just part of the lifestyle. I have found its easiest to stop putting emphasis on the day itself and focusing more on the celebration and spending time with the people that mean the most to me. If that means celebrating Christmas in November or even march then so be it. But at least I am celebrating with my sailor. :) my husband and I have celebrated a lot of holidays the day before or after depending on work schedule. I know it's hard but I know I am lucky to have him either way! Maybe have a party to celebrate your birthday and invite some friends :)
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Permalink Reply by keesha_b on
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you make a great point that now i understand. i never thought of the many special days to come that he might not be there. But just adjusting certain celebrations to his schedule is also fine and would be also special!! thank you!
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Permalink Reply by RobsPrincess12 on
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Look at it like this, you get 2 birthdays lol. My boyfriend left on the 5th of this month, so he's going to miss Thanksgiving and Christmas, and possibly my birthday, depending on when he leaves for A-School! Those days are huge holidays for me and I want him here, but I also want him to be happy. So now our agreement is, I get a birthday with him and a Christmas with him, AND he has to cook me a meal to make up for thanksgiving when he gets back lol!
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yeah Its hard to think about it until you actually experience it. Growing up my Dad worked out of town 9 months of the year. I sort of got used to celebrating when you can and focus on that. :) Also like another poster mentioned you can celebrate twice. :) Which is alway good!! lol This year my husband was even home for my birthday and he still ended up having duty lol! Just my luck! And he has duty Christmas too! But you are welcome :) dont worry you guys will find a system works out for yall! :)
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My dad was Navy too, I never understood missing holidays because he often did, it was normal. What got me, at age 7 (or so), was when he was called back to base during the church Daddy-Daughter Dance. That was sad, we didn't even get to dance at all.
I was in boot camp for all the major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, NYE), but it only got to me when we got to make a phone call and my parents were off working in Saudi Arabia and my brother was at work. No one to call.
I actually has some really great holidays with my Navy buddies! And hubby got shore duty and we did have several holidays in a row together, which was really nice. Not with our families, we were in Japan.
So now hubby and I take several honeymoons every year. We don't have much family to celebrate with, so it is often just us two and we make the most of that. He works on Christmas so the guys with kids can be home. (He's retired Navy, but still works. You can't live comfortably on Navy retired pay unless your house is paid for).
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Yeah I remember my Dad trying to get home on christmas and getting there are like 630 am and then sleepin all day. lol or trying to stay up to watch us open gifts and fall asleep! lol the first year he missed my birthday was hard. I was turning 7 and I refused to have a birthday party at all. I wouldnt take presents from people. It was really hard bc my Dad and I are super close. Then for Christmas "Santa" got me the really expensive telescope (well expensive for my family) that I wanted and I knew we couldnt really afford. My Dad was there for Christmas and he made a point to show me everything about it. It was then that not only learned the truth about Santa but realized him missing those days was even harder on him than it was on me. and I felt horribly guilty about making him feel like he owed me for missing holidays bc of work. Bc not only was he miserable away from his family alone but he knew that we were upset he was gone too but he had no choice.
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But you never took each other for granted, right? Some families who are never apart don't cherish each other the way they should.
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oh no! That is defintely one thing my family never does. We never take anyone for granted. One of my sisters was involved in an accident that almost killed her 4 years ago when she was 12, and we now have a little miracle baby sister who is three years old :) My family has certainly learned the value of each other and I truly think being apart and the thinsg that have happened to us have really strenghtened us as a family.
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