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homecoming helppp:/
My boyfriend comes home from deployment in 2 months. He has been gone since March, thats almost a year deployment. I need to start figuring out if i'm going to go up there for his homecoming. I am only 20 so i need to arrange plans with his family to go with them since i cant get a rental car myself. and save money up for a plane ticket. I asked him this morning if he really wants me to go. and of course all girlfriends/wives secretely expect a "OF COURSE" no my boyfriend says "its your choice whether you come or not, ill be home ten days later so i could just see you then..." to me thats not normal. he should want me there the second he gets off his ship, especially after 11 months. sure its only another 10 days, but who wants to wait another 10 days after 11 months. i feel like he honestly just doesnt care whether im there or not. am i taking this the wrong way:/ ? idk what to do. i feel like our relationship is failing.
Views: 141
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Your feelings are very normal, although you're the one who knows what is going on in your heart, not us! But I can give some stuff to think about.
Is this his first deployment? Some of them dont' understand what a rush it is to see the loved ones standing there. Many sailors have set themselves emotionally distant to protect themselves, and it is hard for them to switch it back on. That's very probable.
If his family is going, how do they feel about you tagging along? Are they cool with you? Will you feel neglected when he divides his attention? His mom will want the first hug!
How would you feel after spending all that money and he can't get off the ship right away? Someone has to stand duty and get the ship secured. He may know you don't have the means to pay for such a trip easily.
The positive thing to waiting is you can plan a special day or two where these isn't a ton going on. Communicate with him about that.
Are you doing all the work in the relationship? Then I'd say sit back and make him come to you. Sometimes they need to remember not to take you for granted.
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Permalink Reply by jde on
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he could just be thinking like a guy and taking into account the hassle it would be for you to get there, with money, rental car, hotel...and could be looking at it as he is going to be home anyway. I am sure he would want you there when he gets off. I know my husband would say things like that when I was waiting for the "of course". Over time i have learned that is his way of i want you there but I want to make it simple for you and I can do my part too and I will see you soon. men are clueless when it comes to things like that. If there is other things that he has done that worry you then that is a different story.
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