What Happens Now?

[kling]

Alright, I'm not sure if you all have ever experienced this before...or how long you've been a Navy girlfriend/fiance/wife, but I'd love to hear from your personal experience what you did to resolve it!

My boyfriend JUST finished boot camp...like JUST yesterday. I should be OFF the wall happy and excited to be able to talk to him in "real time" again right? But here's the thing...I think he feels it too - for the last 2 whole months, we were both living our own lives and didn't get to talk to each other on a daily basis and now for some reason, I'm all nervous talking to him again, as if we didn't know each other...Did any of you feel that way before in the beginning? 

[amor]

were you writing each other? did he call you while he was there? how long were you dating before he left?

[kling]

It's going to be 4 months in a few days - so "not that long". We've been friends for like...5 years though and this is probably the longest he's been happily in a relationship lol.

During boot camp, he sent me letters every week from the first week they allowed them to and we got to talk on the phone for maybe 20 minutes once 2 weeks before he graduated. But now that he's done, it's been just kinda...awkward? I don't know what the right adjective is for it. It might just be the two of us getting back into the flow of talking with each other every day again -___-

[eyeronics]

I'm sorry sweetie, but that's not how it was for me at all. I was literally counting down the days from the moment he left. When he graduated we were the exact same couple we were before he left. But, I wrote to him every day while he was gone and got to talk on the phone 4 or 5 times. If you guys have only been together for 4 months than already you've spent half of your relationship apart. Do you really think the relationship is worth it to be long distance so soon? 

[kling]

Aww, you were definitely much more luckier than we were. He only got to call home 3 times during the entire time, and we only got to talk for a few minutes, but I did write him as often as I could during that time.

It's only been 4 months, but we've wanted to be together for sooo long that I do think it's worth it to be long distance so soon. Maybe this "awkwardness" will subside in a few days. I've just been so used to missing him for the last 2 months that I might just be in shock from being able to just text him and talk to him again. :)

[Adrienne(ship 02/div 925)]

well ill make you feel better lol. I wrote to my boyfriend everyday at boot camp got two calls an hour each and got a letter every week. But also after bootcamp i felt weird, like we had two seperate lives his navy life my normal life. It goes away with time. Currently my boyfriend and I are fighting, because he is stupid and thinks it is cute to flirt and call other girls hot   but besides that point. Maybe just ask quetion of his life daily activities friends to start to get a jist of his new adventure in life. That should help with the feeling awkward and not knowing part. (:

[Adrienne(ship 02/div 925)]

And trust me at one part i felt like it would be that way for ever in the first week, it was devestating to me, and now we are right back to normal him flirting with girls and me telling him not to (:
So yup, just stick with it, it will all get easier.

[kling]

Thank you for the advice! He kept giving me opportunities to get out of this because he knows it's going to be hard to be away from each other, but I'm not about to leave just 'cause it's tough. I was just curious if anyone else experienced this too. I will definitely talk to him and ask him to fill me in on this new chapter of his life.

I'm sorry that you and your boyfriend are currently fighting :/ I hope that things work out, guys are kinda clueless sometimes -__- 

[Adrienne(ship 02/div 925)]

thanks. i hope he can man up and stop flirting with girls online. its totally point less. dumb 18 year olds. But my boyfriend and I have been in a Long Distance Relationship for about 7 months before boot camp so its sort of natural for us. main thing is not to get antsy(like i do) if he can't text or call. Trust me i am currently doing that always have been that most likely always will. But if you need more talking time just tell him he should understand, or maybe take a breather and be like he's at bootcamp today(lmao!) My boyfriend and i text all day but only video chat maybe every 3 days. He is a social butterfly and is always with someone or talking to his roommates. Just a warning don't become the pyscho girlfriend like i am known as for wanting to talk to him. haha. (:

[Adrienne(ship 02/div 925)]

also i am only known for being pyscho because i asked him to text me at 4 a.m. and his roommates were like she i crazy!! but he got an app that automatically sends me a text, because he always forgets to either text or call me.

 

[kling]

That's not being crazy! We were LDR before boot camp too and made a pact where he would say good morning every morning while I would say good night every night, whether or not we were talking to each other that day. If you're "crazy", I must be insane -___- haha

[kling]

Hahaha I'm trying SO hard not to be and give him space as he's getting settled into his compartment in A School, but it's sooo hard not to want to talk to him now that he's "back". I'm sure you're not that psycho :P I'd be a little angry/frustrated if my boyfriend was flirting with other girls online when he could be talking to me too. 

[meagan5220]

I didnt experience this with my sailor but I am different than you, my sailor is different than yours and our relationship is different than yours! Thats just the way this life is! One thing I learned never ever compare your communication to someone else's bc you will ALWAYS be dissapointed. My husband is deployed now and I know wives that talk to their husbands EVERY day on the phone. For us we save the money instead. (its pricey!!!) I know wives that spend all day emailing their husbands, I had one wife laughingly tell me her and her husband had run out of things to talk about.. 3 months in. I told her that I am sure my husband would love to chat all day on the computer instead of doing his job.. lol ok so maybe I snapped at that one ;) lol but anyways you need to talk to your sailor. Ask him if something is bugging him or if he is ok? Then talk about your expectations for communications. Be realistic but tell him you dont mind getting a call at 4 am before PT, or a call at midnight when he gets off watch.

 

I am sorry but if people gave up a relationship with their sailor because over half of it was spent long distance... well I at least wouldnt be here now. My sailor and I had been dating 5 months when he left for BC we got engaged a week before he left (we also knew each other for 7 years before this but I dont have to explain my relationship to anyone either way) We have spent 9 months of the last 2 years together. Which is still a big chunk for some. We have spent 4 months in the last year and a half together. I know one girl that knew her sailor for a week before he left for this deployment they have been together 6 months and only spent a week together. If both parties are willing to work it will work.

 

Coming back from time away is hard especially if its the first time. There is always a chance for an adjustment period. Some people experience it some dont. I know people that even after tons of deployments have adjusment periods. Just talk to him :) if he doesnt talk just talk until you make him jump in. Ask questions, send him a care package in a school :) give it time!