Wondering about random info to keep me busy...

[Eryn]

Okay, so my boyfriend is in boot camp and he graduates Friday. Tonight is an important night, I know he will do fine but if I don't keep my mind busy I start panicking and pacing around. LOL. Anyway, he told me on Thanksgiving that he wants to get married right after his first deployment. He didn't have his orders yet but at the time he is guessing he will be deployed by like mid January (I think that's what he said, I got a little lost in his explanation). Anyway I'm just wondering about random things that go along with getting married to the Navy, haha. I will be in school until the end of April 2014, so even if we get married I will be staying put and finishing school. I'm trying to figure out if it will be a smart (or just not completely stupid) idea financially. I am in a very time consuming program and also taking extra classes and thinking about double majoring. I live with my mom who pays for all of my living expenses and my dad covers a lot of my costs (phone, insurance, extra spending money, etc.) so I'm not sure how much my parents would be willing to continue paying for if I get married. Plus when I graduate I will have about 20,000-22,000 in student loans. So the finances of getting married scare me a little. Also if anyone has any info about working on a base as a civilian that would be cool. I am going to be a dental hygienist and that would mean that every time we move I would have a state board (pretty sure that's about $2,000) to take to get my licence to practice in that state. My mom thought she read something about the military needing dental hygienists. Who knows!!! Well, any info to keep me busy while I worry all night would be nice (:

Sorry about the terribly long post... 

[KJ<3ProudNavyGf Ship-14 Div-026]

I know exactly how you feel, my boyfriend graduates this Friday too (how exciting!) and he wants to get married and for me to move with him once he is stationed, but I'm also in a very demanding program (nursing) and he knows I love him so much but he also knows that school is a huge priority and I want to finish my degree before we make any plans, but it is hard to not wanna do all of that because I love him so much and if i would love to move with him ASAP but I guess we'll see what happens once he finishes with A school. I'm new to the navy life so I wouldn't know much about jobs and all that stuff but I'm sure the ladies here can help, just wanted to share this cause I feel like we're in the exact same situation

[Eryn]

My boyfriend is adamant about waiting until after his first deployment, I guess someone told him it is a good time to test your relationship and how well I will be able to handle this life. But he is undesignated, so no school or anything and he is hoping to get his first deployment out of the way right away. So possibly marriage towards the end of 2014. He wants me to finish school and here where I am because if I transferred schools I would pretty much have to start over (and he said we could wait until after graduation to get married but he would rather not). As of now I am open to the idea of getting married and still being apart until I finish school. Yeah, there are a lot of people on here with tons of experience so I thought it was worth a shot! Plus I just needed to sort of vent and get all of that out of my head. I hope he gets a really long call tomorrow so I can talk to him about it more. Yeah, basically being in school sucks!! Lol. But no matter what I am going to finish my program where I'm at now.

[KJ<3ProudNavyGf Ship-14 Div-026]

Yea my boyfriend suggested my moving with him and finishing there but since its a program its not as easy to transfer and every school has different prerequisites so it would be a waste of time. And well i feel the same way, wouldn't mind getting married and being apart because i already know i wanna be with him, of course i would like a big nice wedding but if we have to go for something small now and bigger later, i don't mind. And this website helped me vent a lot lol and although they graduate this friday i'm sure we're still gonna need to vent because this is only the beginning of a new journey, and i wouldnt have it any other way(:

[Eryn]

So I got a half hour call today and it was awesome to talk to him, but now I feel like I need to talk to him even more!!! I'm sooo conflicted about everything and I hate how with the Navy you can't plan anything at all!!! Yeah... big wedding... I had dreams of a big fancy Disney World wedding but I know that won't happen. 

[abuon18]

If you get married the Navy might not allow you to stay home to finish school. I don't know all the rules about it but I know they expect the spouse to move with their husband or wife, and if you don't there could be consequences. So like I said I'm not really sure of everything since we are older and I was out of college for a few years before we got married so it wasn't an issue but that's something you should try to get more information about.

[Eryn]

Thank you, I will! I haven't heard that before!

[meagan5220]

What is his A school? honestly there really isnt a way to know for sure when he will deploy unless he already knows what his command is going to be. He could even get stationed overseas. My husband graduated A school last May and deployed that Dec. but I have a friend and her husband graduated A school last March and he hasnt deployed at all. He wont be leaving until early next year. Its really a toss up. But as far as staying home and finishing school it doesnt quite work that easily. The guys are typically expected to live in barracks if they are single and under E5 and when they get married they sort of shoo them out. They do not have to give them a barracks room and give you bah for where you are living unless there are certain circumstances. but you cant get BAH for a place you arent living, it can get him in trouble for BAH fraud. Its called going GeoBachelor when they live in the barracks and you live back home and some commands are cutting back on approving it. They will pretty much tell you to move with them or lose your BAH. and lose your paid move. So you risk getting told they will cut half your paycheck  or you have to leave your program. I would say do not leave your school! Keep getting your education!! It will be very important and help you a lot when you are moving to have that degree. Transferring schools with programs like that is very hard. While you will get more money financially if you are married and getting BAH and whatnot it might impact your education in a negative way. As far as working on base most bases have a website with their "career" link that list job postings and there is also a website called usajobs that list some base jobs.

[Eryn]

Yeah, I wasn't sure how BAH would work. I was thinking he would get it and have to use it to live off base and I would still live with my mom. Unless he was deployed and then I could get the BAH. But we would go into it knowing that I wouldn't get a paid move and he wouldn't get BAH and we could plan accordingly to that. I would never leave school. I've got about 17 months left and there's no way I would leave with all of the time and money I have put into it already. Not getting a paid move and BAH until I finish school will be worth the $30 an hour I'll make when I graduate. So basically I just have to convince my parents to still support me even if I'm married until I graduate and I have to figure out the best way to deal with my licensure. But we probably won't end up getting married until after I graduate anyway. I'll be talking to him about it this weekend. It really depends on when the Nimitz deploys since it got pushed back from January.   

[Anti M]

Undesignated do not go to A school, they go to a short training at Great Lakes then are sent to the fleet. After a year, they can strike for a rate which may or may not have an A school. No time for her to go marry him before he gets his orders, undes often receive them in boot camp.

Right about the geobachelor thing, it has been abused too much and they're beginning to look for fraudulent marriages used for benefits. Be very careful about that.

Just ask your parents what they think of a marriage and how would they change their financial support of your schooling?

[meagan5220]

Yeah my friends husband was undes... he went to Pcola though but that was feb 2011 so I know how things change lol!

[Eryn]

We wanted to get married in August or September of this year, but I don't think that will work out.

I will ask them, I just want to understand all of the Navy part of it first and see how much help I will still need from them. I already told my mom and she's fine with it. She would let me continue to live with her and cover my living expenses if I needed her to I think. 

[Anti M]

The Navy trains its own dental techs, but there is always work in a community near a large base.