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Comment by LivNLrn on October 19, 2013 at 4:03am

I am positive you completely make his week when you send packages. There are many sailors who have no family/ friends sending things and it can be quite a downer. When they get a package it really brightens their day.

I hope having your birth mom in your life in some way has brought some peace for you and especially for her before her passing. She must have had some darkness and great pain behind her avoidance of the topic of your father. Your children are so lucky to gave you in their lives and to have each other!

The base is like a small town, it has a great gym, bowling, movie theater, beautiful beach (where we got married), a single sailor hangout spot (wifi/ pool tables, etc.), and even a McDonald's and a couple small restaurants. There is a lot to see off base too. Two Lovers Point, the restaurant "under the sea" aquarium, shopping/ eating/ bars in Tumon, a couple malls, biggest Kmart in the world, and the best diving in the world. Every Wednesday people go to Chamorro village for great food and flea market style shopping. It is very safe. As anywhere always be aware, don't be silly and leave a wallet out on a beach towel for example as I have heard of beach thefts. Crime is very low and usually reserved for local on local issues (domestic, etc.).

Comment by ktssong on October 18, 2013 at 10:35pm

Livnlrn thank you so much for all the information.  That was great to read.  I've been so hungry to know what they go through so I can better understand but I take whatever tidbits he gives.  He's really good about sharing so I've been blessed in that area.  I had five kids back to back except him he was the straggler.  He was four years apart from the youngest of the four pack and all five of them are close.  It's like they all take up for their baby brother.  He likes to come home and call his bigger brothers old men.  They aren't that old.  He's 25 and the oldest is 33.  I'm glad he got the guitar for especially the holidays coming up he can play music for the guys.  He loves to write songs.  

He said he has only gone off the base one time since he's been there.  It sounds like the base is huge and pretty equipped with everything to do so he must not want for whatever reason to go off base.  Do they discourage it?  

Charlotte that is awesome to get to go tour in Tokyo.  That would be a great experience.  Like I said much earlier posts, this is our second deployment and our first one was Afghanistan last year and it was very very stressful so we are so happy to be in Guam and for me it's just nice to hear about a non war zone and how it is for our servicemen here.  

I sent my son a giant box of cookies to share with his friends they were all homemade and they got them this week. I'm hoping they got to enjoy them.  I just sent off two more boxes of unperishables.  We just keep sending snacks.  I guess when a mom doesn't know what to do we just feed them.  A way to their hearts they say is through their stomachs. Ha.  

This made my Friday night.  I really needed to connect with some moms.  Nice to hear from all of you.   I am going tomorrow to see my birth mothers grave and say my good byes.  I need some closure.  I did send some emails out to the cemetary to see if they could confirm to me how she passed.  I have collected so much information about her through the years that it just doesn't seem complete until I know about the last years of her life.  I have been keeping a book about looking for her since I was in my 20's and I'm 55 now.  I found her when I was 30 and we stayed in touch for several years.  I was given a wonderful book designed by a woman who wanted adopted kids to have some way to get family trees and information from a birth parent if they ever found them and I had her fill it out.  I'm glad I did.  Tomorrow will be a little downer but a way to close the doors to something that had brought some pain in my life in different ways.  

Comment by Charlotte(ship02Div930) on October 18, 2013 at 10:07am

ktssong how wonderful your sailor was there to comfort you. What a journey your life has been. I pray for comfort for you during this time. I am so glad your sailor got his guitar! I'm sure that brings him comfort....a little piece of home! LivnLrn, I am often cautious when I talk/skype with my sailor. Sometimes I wonder if it's mean to tell him the 'fun' things we are doing. He is a tough one to read, whether far away or near! Lol. He is pretty quiet about his feelings. His ship is in Japan right now so he missed the big weather in Guam but his ship has to stay out at sea for an extra day to avoid the bad weather in Japan! Such is the life of a sailor! He gets to go touring today in Tokyo...he's excited. I know this page isn't very active but I'm glad there is some conversation going on. I am very connected to a group of moms that all of our kids PIR'd together. We all need the support. But we are the ONLY ones who understand the Guam 'stuff'! Take care ladies!! Happy Friday!

Comment by LivNLrn on October 18, 2013 at 5:51am

You are so welcome! I remember how it was and glad to help if I can. I got the chance to meet two of my Guam Mom's because as far away as Guam is, it is still a small world! They helped me get through my move there and time on the island. Our g-bomb was a tattered 97 sebring convertible. It even broke down on our wedding day! When it rained, it POURED inside it! Could not reverse or turn left or even take the key out the ignition by the time we got rid of it. It was so bad!!!

Comment by OKCsuzieq on October 18, 2013 at 5:19am

LivNLrn, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! So nice to hear insight on why we get the silent treatment, you really helped me understand. I've heard my son say mom you just don't understand. .. so thank you maybe I do now! I'm also wondering if my son bought your "Guam bomb" lol he loves his rust bucket!? Again love how eloquently you said everything and I really appreciate your insight!!!

Comment by LivNLrn on October 18, 2013 at 2:52am

Ladies, my husband and I were on Guam until about a year ago and loved it. The weather is beautiful and the island is pretty easy to get around if you get a car. We had a "Guam bomb" a $3K heap-o-junk! (Yours can do better- his negotiating skills were new!) Yesterday's typhoon should be passed over now. I experienced a couple, only one required we evacuate to higher land because of a small tsunami (water only came up about 3 ft). In the event of storm the base is very organized as far as what to do and they do encourage them to stock up on water, canned food, gas and emergency lights, etc. I wish I had a generator in our base housing but never bought one because it costs so much- electricity/ A.C./cable and internet would go out randomly and also due to planned work being done. The base houses and new barracks are very sturdy and base is in good location to avoid flooding. Most flooding happens on the main roads because it does rain often (hence, the amazing rainbows and beautiful greenery!) even if it rains it is warm enough to swim, LOL!  Flooding is more of an annoyance because it causes traffic back ups. The Navy base is nice, with an amazing new gym and new outdoor pool. We lived on base. I worked in town- it was VERY hard to get a local job. Sons do tend to have a hard time calling home and keeping in touch. They have a different way of handling homesickness, which I did not understand until joining N4M and also seeing how my husband handled things. I would always push him to call his mom, who he treasures and loves dearly. I could not understand why he did not call or skype more often. One day I got them all together on skype and we talked for about 2 hours and laughed and it was great. But then he hung up and he was quiet. I asked him what was wrong. He said "this is why I don't call, it make me more homesick." I had never seen my husband choked up before. So, please go easy on them. For many, it is the first time away from home. Many do not like to talk about their work day once they get off because they deal with so much foolery, politics and headaches- somebody yelling at you just because they had a bad day, people trying to get you in trouble because you keep your nose clean, things going wrong with an inspection, etc. That was something else I did not understand. I always tried to make him talk about his day so I could identify, understand or just get it out of his system. Now I let him do it on his own, when he is okay with it and make sure I am listening. I realize now we all have different coping mechanisms. It is most important they know they are loved and always will be welcomed with open arms and ears! I hope this helps a bit! Thank you for all your support, Moms!

Comment by OKCsuzieq on October 18, 2013 at 1:41am

ktssong, so sorry about your revelation. Sending hugs and prayers your way. I've found this group to be pretty quiet. My son doesn't talk about the weather in Guam much other than he saw we are having back to back cold fronts and he said he missed the cold. lol how wonderful your son was able to comfort you. I know it was such a nice surprise. It amazes me how much my son matures every time I turn around. Hugs!

Comment by ktssong on October 18, 2013 at 12:34am

Just Checking in tonight to see if any moms have posted here.  I spoke to my son Wednesday Morning.  His wife told him to call.  I didn't expect that.  I had talked to her the night before because I had no one else in the family awake when I found my birth mothers obituary on the internet.  I was shocked.  No one had called me.  I had waited 14 years for her to maybe, hopefully call and say it was silly of her to quite talking to me because I asked about my father.  But I found out she passed away 6 years ago.  He called to comfort me.  It really helped.  

I don't know about the rest of you moms but I try to be my son's comfort.  Ask about him. Listen to his stories and share about some funny home stories.  It was nice to be comforted by him.  Made me feel so much better even though he was miles away it was like he stepped into a dark room with me and said it'll be alright mom.  (It's a long story but I'm adopted and I found my birth mom when I was 30 and we met once a yr for lunches.  After several years I got the nerve to ask if she could tell me anything about the father.  Never heard from her ever again.  She walked right back out of my life. )  

So I sent two more boxes of food to him.  He told me he and the other guys all put their boxes together and everyone snacks from them everyday.  He said he finally got his guitar that was shipped by military to him before they left.  He just got it.  He said he played for four nights in a row until he had blisters on his finger tips.  He loves music so I'm sure the guys are enjoying hearing the songs.  

How's the weather in Guam...On facebook I friended the fb page of Pacific Weather and always seems to be a typhoon nearby.  Do most of them weaken by time they get near there?

God Bless you all and your sons and daughters.  Good night.

Comment by ktssong on October 9, 2013 at 10:27pm

Charlotte, yes he did get my two packages I sent last week two boxes packed with food.  He got them today and he got his military box he sent himself that had his xbox and his guitar in it so he had a good day today.  He loved the boxes of food and since I told him I've already got three more coming this weekend he is sharing with his buddies too.  They are happy campers.  So happy for you that you get to see your son in December.  That is wonderful.  

wflorence-  I'm guessing gw is a ship?  My son isn't on a ship.  He's a Seabee so he is in the barracks.  My son told me this week he got chased by a bird.  I guess they are bad there and his friend had a snake fall out of a tree in front of him so he killed it with a stick.  Gave me goosebump shivers as soon as I typed it.  Ugh.  He just had someone take his Navy Federal card number there and use it to make internet purchases so he had to cancel his card and reorder a new one. No other news from him.  I think I'll hear from him about the food because he messaged his wife.  At least I know he got it.  His boss gave us a PO box that's a non-APO/FPO address.  And the boxes got there in one week.  The box I sent and the box his wife sent to the APO/FPO address they gave us before he shipped out never has gotten to him.  Maybe he'll get it for Christmas. Ha.  

Comment by luvinmatt on October 6, 2013 at 7:12pm

Tell your son to attach himself to one of his married buddies. I dont know how many times I have made food for a si gle sailor just so they could have a home cooked meal.

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