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Comment by Kaye S. on May 3, 2009 at 10:28pm

Oooo, you win this hand of "sailor leaving!" Mine will be back in a couple of weeks... We'll be sending happy thoughts to you and G. This just means you'll have to save the pennies and go visit him there! Big hugs, k.

Comment by Kaye S. on May 3, 2009 at 4:30pm

Vicki, my mom said everything you've said here when I got married, because I was still in college (we thought we were ready because we had a whole ONE thousand dollars saved up!). But, we're still crazy about each other after 26 years... Congratulations to them both, and you, with some prayers and hugs thrown in for good measure!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

(heavy sigh...) k.

Comment by Pat on May 3, 2009 at 3:08pm

Congrats and well wishes to them both and to you!

Comment by Kaye S. on April 28, 2009 at 3:31pm

Welcome, Kelly! Tell us a little... where is your guy stationed? Ship or Sub? And where do you live? Hugs, k.

Comment by Pat on April 25, 2009 at 9:30pm

Love the pix! Monday won't work for this sole supporter of self...work schedule doesn't allow it, but will work on trying to schedule it in.

Comment by Kaye S. on April 25, 2009 at 7:48pm

Now hear this! Now hear this! Announcing: Indianapolis "Westies" Dinners
A regular dinner has been scheduled on the westside of Indy on a monthly basis. These gatherings are open to ANYONE who wishes to attend, regardless of where they live... the more, the merrier!

The first one will be May 11, 2009 from 5:30pm to 8pm, at The Olive Garden Restaurant in Avon. More details are available on the Events Calendar. Please RSVP, so we'll know how many to expect. Hugs! k.

Comment by Kaye S. on April 24, 2009 at 6:54am

Yay, Donnita! I can't think of a young male sailor choosing anything he'd rather have more as a "reminder of home!" And I know you drank up every minute of that phone conversation. Glad to hear you, and he, are a little better now! k.

Comment by Kaye S. on April 21, 2009 at 4:57pm

As far as the "messed up orders" are concerned, as much as we love the Navy, remember the American military is THE LARGEST BUREAUCRACY IN THE WORLD! Most of us adults have learned through years of tough experience how to deal with bureaus, but our kids have not. They are used to dealing mostly with schools, where eventually the mess straightens itself out because the paperwork exists to get them graduated and out (and Mom will always step in and solve the problem). They don't know how to advocate for themselves.

First:
He is held responsible for what his orders say, NOT what someone told him they say. Just like you are responsible for what the mortgage contract says, not what the realtor says. Sailors are issued paper copies of their orders... did he read it throughly? Orders are also posted online (BUPERS)... did they agree with the paper copy? If they EVER don't agree, they must be sorted out BEFORE departure. It's in the present school/base's interest to get him processed and out, so they'll work harder on this.

Second:
Teach them to attack an "elephant" on all four legs, tail, and trunk. That means to pursue their issues through several possible sources at once, at each site saying, "I'm not sure you can help with this problem..." He might not get the problem solved, but he'll get advice on what to do which may be different than another office is telling him, and which may prove fruitful. THE CHAPLAIN'S OFFICE knows alot about who can advocate for your sailor, and should be called in messy situations.

Third:
The details matter and should be kept track of. KEEP A LOG: EVERY TIME HE SPEAKS TO SOMEONE, NOTE THE DATE, TIME, AND IDENTITY OF WHO!
When told he'll be called back or to come back "later," he should always ask, "When should I expect that call?" "So, if I don't hear from you by Friday, then I should call on Monday?" "When you say 'later,' that would be exactly what date?"
Also keep a note of what he was told... this proves invaluable and paints your soldier as someone to deal with (because he's not saying, "Someone over at some office told me blah, blah.")

Fourth:
Remember that in most bureacracies, personnel DON'T want to solve special circumstance problems, will try to wriggle out, and send the problem somewhere else. There's an old saying in management, "No one wants to take the monkey off your back." So, your sailor must pin people down and make them take the monkey. Hold them accountable for words/actions. Helpful questions would be, "Then who has this authority in his absence?" "If you cannot help with this problem, I may need to escalate my search. What is your commanding office?" "What help could your commanding office be?"

All this advice is NOT Navy-specific, but is helpful whenever trying to get resolution to a problem and dealing with a large organization. I worked 20 years in a customer service group, and have taught others how to deal with them too. Hopefully, they'll save your sailor some "learning the hard way" time!

Good luck, k.

Comment by Kaye S. on April 11, 2009 at 12:28am

Hi, Kay! (Great name, by the way, but you didn't spell it correctly ;-D )

Our aunt, who lives in England, is in an organization where you have a guest room you'll let someone stay in (I think there's a limit of nights - like 1-2), and others in the group do the same. So, for offering YOUR home and hospitality, ou get lodging possibilities from the OTHER members. I think you provide breakfast, too. Perhaps something like that would work? Hugs! k.

Comment by Kay on April 10, 2009 at 2:01pm

I have a question for every one... please, bear with me I just came up with and idea and I'm fleshing it out as I write. All of us family members are far away from our loved ones. I am lucky enough that I don't have to work right now, so I am constantly surfing the web -- I have come up with all sorts of travel sites and am continuously finding more. In fact, a friend of mine married a wonderful woman from Moscow -- I just found a round trip ticket to Moscow for between 300 and 400 dollars. We have a site to help any of the sailors anywhere they go, how about a site where we can share airfares and places for family members to stop throughout the nation so that we can all see our loved ones (for some of us our new grandbabies) via the Navy for Moms routing. I will happily do whatever I can, to find fares, etc. for those of us wanting to go. I will also happily look into creating two databases to list anyone willing to help the sailors and the family members. I'm not asking for money, nor do I want money -- I am looking for something to keep me busy while my husband is working! I haven't really thought this whole thing out and I may be duplicating something that someone else is doing if so, please let me know...

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