Comment

Comment by Tammy on September 12, 2014 at 10:41pm

It was not my intent to be condescending to anyone and I was speaking in general when I referred to "doing your best and sooner or later it will pay off". This is something I have always told all of my boys with any of their endeavors. So I apologize to anyone that was offended. My son has been in for two years and just recently was picked up so it's not to say that it was a completely smooth journey for him, but that along the journey to keep his chin up and take it all in. So I apologize if I offended anyone and I wish only the best for all of our sailors.

Comment by Emi - #proudofmysailor on September 12, 2014 at 10:39pm

My goal was not to have anyone leave the group. I was just frustrated with the fierce negativity. This is hard and staying positive for our loved ones is the best thing that we can do. Maybe my words were too harsh and I apologize for that! I get that this is not the idea way for out soldiers to go and don't understand why this eating is pushed so hard.

Comment by TropikalParadize on September 12, 2014 at 10:01pm

First off, I 100% agree with MyLAS and can understand where she is coming from...unfortunately, my husband had the same experiences as her son (ie negative ones).

That being said, I can totally understand where Emi and Kim are coming from.  I can remember when my husband first joined, and I was positive about everything, the experiences were new, and it was scary.  And what was scarier was to read horrible experiences of others, especially when he was on deployment.  And thank you to both of you for respecting MyLAS's (and others) experiences that haven't been so positive!  I appreciate that!

I hope that those of us with negative experiences can co-exist with those of us that have positive experiences as well!  I believe both are very valuable and offer good information, as long as both sides respect the other.  A previous poster said "if you are giving your best sooner or later it will pay off" - to me this is condescending, especially when my husband DID give his best, and in our case, it did not pay off (at least not in the navy)...I'm sure she did not mean the comment this way, however just be aware that there are those here on the opposite side of the spectrum.  That being said, I believe us "negative nancies" can definitely tone it down a bit, because as we all know, once you are in, you deal with things the best you can.  I know that saying that the best thing to do is to get out is not helping anyone, so here is the advice I will give....KEEP FIGHTING!!  As undes, they have to fight harder than anyone else, and its very daunting.  Don't settle for a rating you don't want...keep pushing for that good one that you want.  The squeaky wheel usually gets the grease, and if you are in offices all the time, pushing for what you want, your chances are usually higher than those that don't push. 

I myself will try to offer more "helpful" advice, and less "frustrated futile negative" advice.  I think we can all benefit from this page if we all respect each others opinions, and genuinely try to help each other.  I sincerely do not want any of your loved ones to have the experience my husband did, and I will try to help prevent this as much as I can. 

Comment by MyLAS (My Lips are SEALed) on September 12, 2014 at 7:12pm

I have removed most of my posts and I will be leaving this group. I am sorry if I upset anyone.  My intent was only to warn anyone who got stuck with undes to GET OUT BEFORE the 180 days pass.  If you don't you are stuck with 4 years.  
Maybe your sailors will have a better ship and command than mine does.  I am sure there are some good chiefs and commands out there.  We just lucked out and got the bottom of the barrel.

Please warn young men and women NOT to sign up for undes.  

Comment by Tammy on September 12, 2014 at 6:47pm

Wanted to say that as mom's we feel for our children when they are disappointed and hurting, but the best thing in my opinion is to talk them up and let them know that throughout life there will be disappointment and that keeping their chins up and giving 100% at all times especially when they are feeling down gives a sense of accomplishment and pride. Difficult to do all the time but I believe that if your giving your best sooner or later it will pay off. I have met many sailors that are so glad that they are undes. They have learned new skills and more than that they strive for what they want with enthusiasm and fire. I think when and if they decide to leave the Navy it will benefit them throughout their lives to handle tough times and life's curveballs. 

Comment by kim on September 12, 2014 at 6:16pm

Emi - #proudofmysailor---Thank you for speaking out. I too feel bad for anyone whose child had or is having a bad experience in the Navy. But the continue negativity is very distressing to read. There are good and bad in all walks of life. I feel terrible for MyLAS experience and am just trying to stay positive for my son. By the time I found this site, my son was already undes. I was hoping this "Undesignated..." Group would help me deal with it...it has by far been the group that causes me to be scared to death for my son. I am going to unjoin this group. I am proud of my son. I am going to put it in Gods hands and hope for the best. This is hard enough without constantly reading this stuff. You are right that it needs to be a forum to help people know beforehand...I don't know what that is but MyLAS I hope you find it. I wish I would have known ahead of time. But Emi is right...this is not that forum

Comment by Emi - #proudofmysailor on September 12, 2014 at 5:54pm

MyLAS: I have read your posts and understand and I realize that any of us or our sailors could be in your situation at any given time.  However, as you stated "my mission in life (until my son is OUT OF THE NAVY) is to try to prevent ANYONE from going undes".  I would simply like to point out that your disdain for the Navy and what has happened with your Sailor only distresses the new parents that belong to this site and if that is also part of your mission- it has been accomplished.  By the time, we as new Navy parents are reading your posts, our sons/daughters are already contracted as undesignated.  Most don't even hear about his site until our kid is off to MEPS.   We are stressed enough with everything going on with our kids and this forum only feeds on that distress.  My son is on his first deployment after only being in the Navy for 4months and this forum is the most upsetting thing that I have been exposed to.  There is good and bad to most things in life and understandably you want to pass on the message about the bad with this rating, but if your intent is to get them to not contract for undesignated...this is the wrong forum.

Comment by Tammy on September 12, 2014 at 1:14am

My sailor has been in for two years this month and has been both satisfied and at times unsatisfied with his decision to go undes. He has had some great experiences throughout the past two years and has seen people and been to places around the world that had he not joined the Navy probably would never had the chance to experience. Recently he has been picked up for the rate that he has tried for so long to get and is extremely excited. I believe that patience, hard work and a positive attitude is what helps to get through the tough times. I also think that as undes the experience in so many different jobs that they get right off the bat helps them to decide what job they may really be interested in striking for. He has also met some great friends in the Navy that will probably be his buddies for the rest of his life. All in all from speaking with my son, I would have to say for him the pros definitely out weight the cons.

Comment by HuffyMom23 on September 11, 2014 at 10:43pm

Today is 1 year my son has been in.  Sure miss that boy! When I talked with him last night, he told me being undesignated has really made him see the NAVY differently.  Don't think he will be a lifer like he originally thought he would.  He is trying to get a job, but it seems it takes a while for these undesignated to get picked up. I hope something changes for him soon.

His intentions were never to be undesignated, but unfortunately that was one of the 4 options left for him at the end of MEPS that day.  He was told what he wanted was no longer available that day.  I can only wonder where he would be right now if he got into the job he wanted. I keep telling him this is a life experience that will only help him.  Don't think at the moment he believes me. ha

Comment by NavyMomLuLu on September 11, 2014 at 7:36pm

I see many different opinions of undes in this group and thought I'd share my story so far.  My son is S-PACT, fresh out of BC and a short 3 weeks in A school, so I have no experience to offer of undes after this point, however, from my sons perspective he is very happy he went in undes, it gave him the opportunity to see/hear from multiple sources about their experiences which provided him with a path to pursue.  He is happy he did not choose a rate that he would possibly have ended up being unhappy with as there were not many to choose from when he wanted to enlist, sure he could have waited for something more appealing to come available but he was to anxious to get his feet wet and serve his country.  He knew very well that most of what the recruiter told him was hogwash as he is 3rd generation Navy and has multiple friends who are or were sailors, but with the right attitude nothing will stop a determined young mind. He has yet to report to his duty station and his only concern at this point is that his assigned ship is in dry dock for the next 2 years and he's worried that his advancment might be hindered because of it but he is ready beyond all hope to face each and every task he's assigned with vigor, again, right attitude and anything IS possible.

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