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After being together for 10 years, 8 of those married… 2 kiddos later (one 7 and one 18 months) my husband has decided to join the Navy and he leaves in 6 days for Great Lakes!

I support his reasons for joining and WE made this decision TOGETHER almost 10 months ago but now I’m starting to second guess our decision.  The closer it gets to him leaving the harder it is for me to NOT say “Don’t Go”!  He knows I’m nervous but he has no clue that I’m second guessing this entire thing… to the point where I’m seriously thinking I don’t think he should go.

My husband is almost 31 and I’m 28!  We have been together almost every day for the past 8 years, raising our kids together and now he’ll be leaving me to basically be a single mom and I’m terrified.

I was fully aware of the sacrifices that we’d BOTH have to make before he signed up but as the days draw nearer I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to hold it all together.  I’m willing to do anything for my children so I know… bottom line… I’ll get through this… but my anxiety is starting to get the best of me. 

I’m afraid if I share these fears with him that he won’t be confident in leaving and it may affect his performance in basics if he is worrying about his family at home. 

Are we crazy to be starting a Navy life right now?  Is it normal to be so scared? 

Views: 113

Replies to This Discussion

Thank you Ladies for your kind and understanding responses. This count down to him leaving is so frustrating, such an emotional roller coaster... I'll wake up tomorrow and know only 5 more days!

I'm so glad to have found this website to be able to speak with women who are in and have been in my shoes. It's hard to talk to friends and family members that have never been in this position... everyone keeps telling me that it will be a breeze, basic will go by so fast... but it is hard to take them seriously when they've never been in this situation. I appreciate all the advice and encouragement I can get during this time! Thanks again! I look forward to hearing more from you and getting to know each of you better!
Hey Heather,

Thankfully I have a ton of family and friends around us... but I do work full time and juggling both kids alone will probably require a lot of adjustment time! I guess this will be Mommy Boot Camp as well!!!

My husband will be an HM... and yours... what is his job? I bet your getting super excited... 2 more weeks!!!

Abby
it was so good to read everyone's replies, I'm already getting scared and have several months before my husband leaves for boot camp, I made a list of all the great reasons that he joined and I made a list of things to expect, like a "this is normal" list, sleepless nights, days I don't want to get out of bed, lol, I'm a list maker and like to look back on these kind of things when I'm freaking out about major decisions and can't think straight.

Something we are doing together is making a list of things for me to do while he is gone, and things to work on. It will give me something to do knowing that we planned it together and I'll feel guilty if he finds out I didn't do anything for myself while he was gone. It will give me something to write him about too, so he doesn't have to read about how much I miss him and how proud I am of him over and over ha ha. Having kids they could have there own little lists of things to do. You may even talk to your Dr. about something for your anxiety, not a daily medication but something for the really bad days.

I wish you the best!
He leaves Sunday... just 2 more days! Ugh... my heart hurts!

But I'm trying to stay positive so I can keep it together for the kids. My daughter's first day of school is the day after he leaves. I'm so worried about her and how she'll handle all of the change.

After 10 months of waiting the day is almost here... it almost seems unreal. I hate knowing that in a couple of days I'll wake up and he won't be there.

BUT.... I'm going to enjoy the next 48 hours and tonight is DATE NIGHT! No kids... just us!
I get one last evening alone with him tonight and tomorrow is family day! We'll pick up the kiddos in the morning from my parent's house and spend the entire day doing fun family stuff.

I don't know how I'm going to keep from crying during "family fun time"... I seem to just break out in tears at random moments these days... especially when I see him playing with his children. It breaks my heart that they won't see him or hear from him every day.

Your son is about the same age as my daughter... has he been adjusting well to his father being gone? I know how I feel so I can't imagine what the little ones go through when daddy leaves.
Its completely normal to feel scared. The night I left my husband at the hotel before he left for great lakes I begged him not to go. Im not going to lie it was the hardest 2 months of my life when he was gone. I missed him more than words could possibly describe..... Now after being in the navy for 7 months we love it, it has truly been a great journey so far for us. It has strengthened our relationship and made my husband an even better man then he was before.

Stay strong! You can do it! and im sure youll love it as well
We were married 10 years before my husband joined the Navy.It was very tough.It was the first time we had ever been apart when he left for bootcamp.Here it is almost 9 years later and I have become a stronger person,a better wife and mother through all of my experiences.Do not get me wrong there will be bad days and good days.But for our future and our health it was the best decision for us.My son has just graduated bootcamp and is follow in his dads footsteps and is in CT o going to submarine school.Our daughter is joining friday (she is a SR in high school).We just moved back from Hawaii.Which is a very beautiful place.Being in the Navy I have gotten to meet all kinds of people from many different cultures.It has been an awesome experience.Just be strong and supportive to your husbands.Because believe me I am sure they are having an even harder time leaving you behind.Another piece of advice I have learned from many other wives don't move somewhere just because you have friends or family there.Pick a place you would enjoy seeing or go see places you have never seen before.There are people who save their whole lives to go on dream vacations to places where the Navy will pay for you to live there.If you have children they adapt pretty well.You will wake up one day 5 years down the line and see how much stronger you have grown.Our 19 year ann. is coming up and our marriage is still going strong and we are still very happy together.Goodluck to all.

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