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Comment by aveoamare(Ship02div925) on March 15, 2011 at 8:31pm

but its not like if he has to go do something he can say no or take a day off.  Right?

Comment by TropikalParadize on March 15, 2011 at 8:03pm

Mrs. B and waiting for you:  I TOTALLY AGREE!!  My husband also puts me first, and that's how we live.  Granted we are new to the whole Navy thing, but Mrs. B you took the words right out of my mouth...and he might be away and be called to go on deployments, the whole 9 yards, but he DOES put me first, and in his heart its me there, not the Navy...yes the Navy is military, but it is still a CAREER...and he did this for US, not for the Navy....he may be going about his day to day business, doing his job away from me in a foreign country, the like...but he's always thinking about ME, just like I am always thinking about HIM...we put each other first and that is what is important.

Comment by aveoamare(Ship02div925) on March 15, 2011 at 6:46pm

how does he manage that?  Can you give an example how how he puts you first?  I'm curious about how that works.

Comment by Mrs.B_Div 302_Ship9 on March 15, 2011 at 6:22pm

I don't want to argue here, but my husband puts me first. His supervisors don't like it, but they've learned that he loves me and puts me first. Yes, he does have to drop everything and go on deployments and yes, he does have to stand duty nights, but other than that; he does everything with me FIRST in his life. It IS possible to have family first, but realize that it doesn't always seem that way.  The Navy isn't #1 in my family. They are very much second or third. We live our lives like we're civilians and don't worry about other people when he is not on the job. My husband isn't even a citizen of the US. He is from England and the only reason he joined was because of his family; he didn't have a job due to the bad economy and he did what was best for us, so we could have our bills paid and food on the table. Just remember, every day, support him, love him and try to remember that he is just doing what is best for right now.

Comment by aveoamare(Ship02div925) on March 15, 2011 at 6:17pm

My husband is 33 and there's a good chance this will be his career, I mean what are the options?  starting all over again in 4 years?  But I'm okay with it, we'll have some good times and some bad but what relationship doesn't?  I'm taking on a whole new role in life, and that's a navy wife, its kind of exciting in way.

Comment by Megs-Sailor Wife on March 15, 2011 at 4:31pm

*KiWi-I can understand your frustration! I thought we would get paid today, but nothing! We didn't open a Navy Fed account to it's just going into our reg account, but some of the others have received their checks and I am kinda freakin out b/c I just don't want their to be any prob with it going into our reg account. Yes this lack of communication is bothersome!!!

Comment by waiting for you (SHIP 3 DIV 080) on March 15, 2011 at 3:15pm

Well said Mrs.B.
my husband just started his schoolong and ive already gone through frustrations and say some things I think are stupid of how their rules are. But at the end of the day I know that my husband is doing this for us and he will do whatever out takes for him to be with us. Ya the Navy thinks they own him and that they are first, but we are first bc hes doing this for us and he's not going to be there forever. He will be with me forever and its so comforting knowing that.

Ladies just remember he wont be in the navy forever, he will be with you forever :)

Comment by aveoamare(Ship02div925) on March 15, 2011 at 7:16am

I really appreciate your honesty.  I think it takes a strong woman to be a navy wife, one who has to be flexible and understanding.  During this time my husband is in boot camp I'm learning a lot about myself and I think I can handle the time apart. 

 

I've been reading everything that I come across pertaining to navy life, fiction and nonfiction alike.  The book I'm reading right this minute is about a navy family and the stresses of separation.

 

My husband wants to have a baby next year so our children aren't that far apart in age, and I worry that he'll leave when I need him most.  However, he's doing this for our family....so...I guess its a double edged sword.

Comment by Mrs.B_Div 302_Ship9 on March 15, 2011 at 12:58am

I've never been to a Navy Ball, but I hear they are a lot of fun.  Yes, they do have them on every base, but it depends upon each command to have one. Each ship has it's own command. So it depends on each ship. Hope that makes sense.

 

What base are you talking about wanting to know how it is? There are a lot of bases everywhere. Housing is normally off base and your BAH covers it. It is military housing, just not within the bases gated community.

 

Normally there is just one deployment a year, but there are many times where there will be 2 deployments within a year. Most deployments are 4-7 months long.

 

And with the relationships; it really depends on you. You have to make the choice to keep the marriage/relationship strong. The Navy does come between relationships, as the Navy does come first. Trust me on this one. I even had an officer tell me to get my head stuck out of my ass because I didn't totally agree with how they were treating my family. He told me family doesn't come first, that the Navy does. So, like many others have told me, I have to try (though I don't succeed very well) to "act" like I'm single. Duty nights are long and difficult. (Depending on which ship he is on, his duty nights could range from ever 4-10 nights). Just remember, this isn't like a normal job; when duty calls, the men and women who serve drop everything and go. It's a hard life, trust me. It's not always going to be fun...in fact, more often than not, it will NOT be fun. I've spent many a night crying and frustrated. I'm a very family oriented person and having my husband gone kills me.  Sorry if this information is kind of a bummer, but I never had anyone tell me the truth before we joined. If we'd known all the stressers it would place on our lives, we might have done something different.

 

Blessings~

Comment by aveoamare(Ship02div925) on March 14, 2011 at 7:05pm

What is the naval ball?  That sounds like fun, do they have it on every navy base?  Can any of you tell me about the housing on the base? is it nice?  How often do your husbands leave?  Do your relationships stay strong? 

 

I'm so new to all of this!  Its a bit overwhelming, sometimes I feel like my entire life is being up-heaved, but I think I'm up to the challenge.

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