Help!

[ZacMansMom2012, USS George Bush]

I am looking for some advice for my son that is on Deployement on the USS George Bush.

He is married,not even a year yet, but since being gone his wife has decided to do her own thing (running around, things wives dont do), he has closed the account she had access to and opened a new one for me to help pay his bills while deployed. She is now of course setting there with no money, but is demanding he pay her half his check ( or that is what she told him legal said). She said they told him what he was doing was fraud and leaving her homeless.

I really dont believe this is correct(I might be wrong) but to relieve his mind I would like to give him some comforting words. I do believe she was talking about if he still collects housing when she leaves would be fraud, which that is understandable, but he cannot fill out seperation papers out until he gets back from deployment is my understanding, please help, if anyone know the right thing to do.

Thank you.

[tatmom4rc(Ship12, Div. 204)]

My heart goes out to you and your family.  This seems to happen more times than we care to realize. I understand his desire to keep his credit good and having you pay his bills out of his pay.  However, I do believe that since they are married he is obligated to help pay for her housing until they are separated.  Since you didn't say which bills you are paying I am assuming that they are not the ones she would be interested in.  I do believe that both of your statements are true regarding fraud.  That he is accepting married BAH funding and not using it to provide a home for his wife is fraud, just as if they kept receiving the money after a divorce or maybe even separation once he gets back.  This is all so hard and painful.  Maybe (with your help) he can somehow set up an arrangement that provides her with housing/food etc. and still covers his bills i.e. you give her an allowance each month (or whatever) or maybe there is a way to set up direct pay of his paycheck into these bills first.  I pray they work this out and that he comes home soon.  My niece is on the USS George Bush and my son is on the USS Barry (an Arleigh Burke Class Destroyer).  I hope things make a turn to the better for you and your son.

 

[tatmom4rc(Ship12, Div. 204)]

Hi ZacMansMom, it's me again.  I talked with a soldier that has actually experienced his wife leaving while deployed.  He said that your son is held to a "higher standard" and has to pay to his wife the part of the BAH that she is entitled to.  He believes it maybe based on rank.  He had to pay just over 600.00 (your sons maybe different).  If there are accounts that your son has in his name on for example - internet, credit cards, etc. he is allowed to put them on hold (or close them) while he is deployed so that he has control over costs.  In other words he doesn't have to pay if she wants to just run up the costs.  But he does have to pay her the "minimum monthly amount" that he is required to pay her.  If he there has been any months that he did not give her the amount that she is "entitled to" then he will owe her back pay.  And the military will not look kindly at him for not paying.  So he should get caught up if this is the case.  Also, if you want/can be in the middle than you can give her the money out of his account since it appears that you currently have access to it.  But make sure that you document every penny that you give via a very traceable manner. If your son is to pay her, he should also make sure that he can track the payments so that no issues pop up later.  I wish you all the best.

[ZacMansMom2012, USS George Bush]

Thank you so much for the information. Unfortunately not what u wanted to hear, but understandable. I want to do the right thing. How do I find out how much she is entitled to? This just happened last week, I am keeping the rent up where she lives. He returns in November.The internet and electric are in her name. She wants to move back here to missouri and is demanding the money before she leaves. I want the right thing to be done.

[tatmom4rc(Ship12, Div. 204)]

sorry for the delay in responding.  I had some fb problems.  Anyway, I am not exactly sure where you or your son can find the needed information regarding her minimum monthly payment, but I was told that it was on line.  I would assume that it would be around the same place that anyone can look into pay grades and pay information via rank. So I would start by getting on the Navy site and look into rank and rate information and go from there.  I am glad to hear that your son doesn't owe back pay to her. That is good.  These stories are so hard to hear about.  I worry as my newly married son (and she has a 2 year old) when he deploys around the beginning of the year for a year and she is away from her friends and family here (as they live in VA), that I may have a similar story.  I hope not.  Best of luck to you all.