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Comment by Oblue on May 13, 2014 at 4:25pm

Thank you all so much for the advice! I started writing letters already, trying to stockpile some for the days I won't have much time to write. I have heard they sometimes don't get mail right away, but I want it to be there when he does. I am glad to be aware that the first phone call is often hard, and am now preparing myself to be ready for that. 

Comment by NOAM on May 12, 2014 at 11:31pm

Oblue,

Would suggest you keep it very straightforward.  White envelopes, no pictures or loose items (like gum); nothing to draw attention to it.

When you get the call within the first 48 hours, be prepared to encourage.  Our DS is a very strong individual who chose this path.  He went into OCS with nothing but positivity.  When he called to let us know he had made it safely, he had 4 minutes total to talk.  His first words were, "Mom, I think I made a mistake", and he spoke with a catch in his voice.  I wanted to throw up first then reach through the phone and bring him home.  I sucked up both reactions and told him they were just testing him; that it's part of the process; many guys/gals without his inherent strength had made it through for years and he could definitely do this, and so on.  As soon as I handed the phone to my husband for his minute and a half (yes I took more than my share), I left the room and had a good cry. 

We received a letter from him a week later, where he wrote that call was his lowest point and that I was right; it got a lot better.  Was VERY relieved when we got that note. 

Normally that call (and if he forfeits sleep to drop you a note) are your only communication for several weeks.  But know that your one-way communication to him is important to him.  I wrote anecdotes about family and friends, and would usually include a joke or two - anything to lighten up their moments.  The sports score recommendations are a good idea if he's into sports.

M's Mom's advice is all good.  Bonding with the FB class your child is in, as well as the one or two before your child, are very important and informative.  We were blessed; the FB class 2 ahead of our DS caught pictures of our DS's class and posted them - what a blessing when we caught a profile shot of our son!

All the moms in this group have experienced OCS, so come back frequently and chat as much as you want/need.  The shared experiences and community support is what gets us through. 

Keeping all of you and our children in my prayers.

Comment by M's mom on May 8, 2014 at 10:51pm

Oblue:  Make sure your son has your phone # and email address MEMORIZED before leaving for OCS. His phone will be taken and stored along with his civilian stuff as soon as he arrives. With smart phones these days people don't have to remember phone #'s; they just scroll to MOM, and punch the button!    He will be given a few minutes to call home within the first 48 hrs, but it will be from a public phone and he will have to use a pre-paid phone card to pay for it, and will have to know your phone #.    When they can email, at about week 4, it will be from a secure military server, and they will NOT have access to their usual email program and "contacts" list.  They will have to type in email addresses from memory.

Comment by M's mom on May 8, 2014 at 10:26pm

Oblue: Request to join the Facebook pages also of the class(es) directly ahead of your son's so you can see what those classes are doing in advance.  ONLY send letters in plain white envelopes the first few weeks, except maybe also stamps and pre-paid phone cards, because they are allowed to have those. My son could not receive any loose pictures, or cartoons, etc. but we could print or photocopy pictures and cartoons onto letter paper and that was OK.               NO  musical cards or colored envelopes or stickers!   You don't want his mail to draw any attention from the drill instructor!  The drill instructors vary in their strictness, but their word is law!  Do not send ANY food or gifts whatsoever for the first nine weeks, or it will be confiscated.  Someone's auntie in my son's class sent him some cookies at week three, and he had to do 800 pushups!!!!!  When they become Candios (Candidate Officers) at the end of week nine, THEN they can receive Candio boxes from home filled with goodies and gifts.  Candios can receive anything EXCEPT alcohol, tobacco, and weapon-like things like squirt guns.  Most people use large size flat-rate boxes from the Post Office, which are about 12"x12"x6" and decorate the inside in a Navy theme.  Make sure anyone you give his mailing address to knows these rules--just letters until end of week nine!  Don't expect many letters from him--the only time they have to write is when they should be sleeping!  After 4 weeks, they usually get email privileges, then you will hear more from him. Kids today don't do handwritten letters!

Comment by Oblue on May 8, 2014 at 4:47pm

I'm part of the FB pages for his class, and the OCS command page. I'm hoping to get pictures of his class through that. I liked seeing the pictures of the classes there. I was reading the older posts today, and they mention going on base for chapel time to possibly see the candidates. Is that still something to do, or has it changed? I imagine it wouldn't be the first few weeks, if at all. 

Comment by dbs55 on May 7, 2014 at 11:07pm

White paper and envelopes only. My son graduated March 14th. I sent him letters on lined white paper, hand written adds a nice touch. I also printed out sports scores from our pro hockey team from the internet. They recommend no separate pictures. Near the end of this phase before they get their phones back I started putting stickers on the letters but not too many. Join the Facebook group for your loved ones class. It is really informative and you get to know other parents/spouses. It is a great way to know what is going on. It is hard in the beginning but it gets better week by week, it is all worth it when you see them at graduation, so proud of what they have accomplished.

Comment by Oblue on May 7, 2014 at 10:33pm

NOAM, What are some of the things not to send, and any tips? I know no care packages unless a specific item is requested, but what about pictures, stickers on letters and colored envelopes? I'm expecting a challenging 3 months with little communication for the first weeks, but I want to make sure I know as much as possible.

Comment by Oblue on May 7, 2014 at 10:01pm

He is going SWO, leaving this month for OCS. Trying to get as much info before he goes.

Comment by M's mom on May 6, 2014 at 10:26pm

Oblue:  As I recall with my son, most of the candidates receive their orders the last few weeks of OCS.  Most of them know going into OCS what school and where they will be going after graduation, such as Pensacola for flight school, Charleston for Nuke school, etc.  Some of them, like my son, go to OCS as pilot candidates, and then get medically DQ'd for one reason or another, and have to switch to another "designator."  My son switched to Intelligence and didn't get his orders to Intel school until the Wednesday before his graduation on Friday!!!  Some don't have their orders yet even on Graduation day, and they have to stay at Naval Station Newport for days/weeks until the orders come through. They usually get 1-2 weeks "travel time" to report to their next school, so our son was able to fly home with us, and gather his belongings, and head to Intel school. What designator (job) is your loved one expecting?

Comment by Oblue on May 6, 2014 at 4:10pm

At what point do the candidates receive their orders? I know they get to list their top choices, but when do they know where they are stationed? 

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