my son separated to ship 5 today 6/21/13

[Chantily6971]

I am so worried about my son.  He called today and was very upset.  He was crying and could barely speak.  He was separated to ship 5  after less than 2 weeks of boot camp and doesn't want to talk about why.  He said Navy will take 2 to 3 weeks to send him home.

[donnad]

I'm so sorry, Chantily6971.  I lived it and I can tell you it was not easy.  To hear your son crying, in such distress, is a horrible feeling.  My son has been home for some time now, his PIR date has passed.  Truth be told, it has taken some time for the bad feelings I have about the Navy recruiting policy AND separation policy to lessen.  Having the ability to chat with others who are going through this process helped me tremendously.  If I might offer you some advice - as hard as it is going to be to control your emotions when your son phones next, please do so.  Try not to cry with him.  Tell him you will always have his back, everything will be OK.  Whatever the reason for separation, life will go on.  You will get through.  I would recommend telling friends and family about the separation prior to your son coming home, as he will not want to think about his weeks in separation nor will he want to have to repeat his story 1,000 times.  Make sure, too, that if he had a job prior to leaving you reach out to them to see if he can get his job back.  For my son, I also knew he wanted to go to culinary school, so I got info on lots of schools in the area and even scheduled a "tentative" appointment for him.  He will be able to phone on Tuesdays and Thursdays while in separation.  I would send letters to him on Ship 5 and include a few dollars, as the food is not what it was while in training and they do have the ability to go to a snack shop and buy chips and other snacks.  If your son calls you and after a week's time has not met with anyone in Legal, please call Legal Affairs yourself and get the ball rolling to get him out of there.  Mom, I know how devastating this is and how sick about it you are feeling - I know - been there!!  Please know it does get better, times does heal all.  I would be more than happy to chat with you personally whenever you need it.  My prayers are with you!  Donna

[Chantily6971]

Thanks.  My name is Donna, too.  I don't meet a whole lot of Donnas.  Maybe we were meant to meet.  Thank you so much for your reply.  I cannot begin to express how much it means to me.  I am so upset and I feel so helpless.  I still don't know the details of what happened with my son, but I am not really happy with the Navy right now.  My son scored 98 on ASVAD and spent 8 months in DEP tutoring people all day long for free that had flunked asvad and were trying to pass again.  My son did this because the Navy asked him to and he didn't mind helping.  It made him feel really good when people would pass after his tutoring.  Anyway, whatever it was that happened with my son it boot camp, I am sure that if the people would've been nice or tried to encourage him in some way, things might have worked out differently.  And this ship 5 is almost as bad as jail.  I never knew about this type of thing.  Also, he has to pay 700 dollars for all of the Navy uniforms that he will never wear again.  I already emailed my congressman.  It probably won't help.  I also emailed a relative of mine, bill de blasio, who is running for mayor of new york and is endorsed by alec baldwin and a bunch of celebrities.  I don't know if he can do anything about it but it is worth a try.  To hear my son cry and not be able to comfort him too much, is gut wrenching.

[donnad]

Donna - (are you a Donna Marie??) I sent you a friend request, and my FB account name is Donna Giroux Dickinson in case you want to chat that way.  My son also devoted his personal time during his ten months of DEP to helping out other potential recruits, as his score was also very high.  As you know, they make these kids give up months of their time training, tutoring, studying in prep for a Navy career.  They have to travel all over the place to meet with the Chief and the region CO. Then, worse, they give up their jobs, insurances, automobile, college and enlist.  UGH - infuriating.  I, too, wrote to my Congressman, the Navy, anyone I could about this but no one ever responded to me.  When you tell people this is going on int he US Navy, they just cannot believe it. I will also warn you - in addition to getting a check (minus the $650 for uniforms and shoes), my son was handed a bill for over $400 for the clothes he came home in; i.e., teeshirts, sweatpants and sweatshirt, backpack, two hats, socks.  The "official" bill will arrive in a couple of months, and I will pay two cents (nice shiny new pennies) and also give them my two cents!  Can you believe that!?  I am so happy to be able to vent, too, to someone who understands.  I'm available anytime, Donna! 

[Angie]

FYI, if the bill isn't paid they take the money out of his check when ever he gets a job and it goes on his credit report.  It is the government, they get their money back

[donnad]

Angie - I figured they would garnish his wages, but before that happens, I will advise them we will pay them something each month.  Having worked as a paralegal for many years, they have to accept this, particularly in light of the fact that he is going to school and only working part-time.

[sissyrrn]

My daughter called yesterday, hysterical, she has only two weeks to graduate and doesnt want to come home, she has done so well, but I guess the navy says that she did not disclose that she saw a therapist twice and at one point was given a medication.  Is there any chance that they may recycle her and she may stay. She loves the Navy

 

[Chantily6971]

My son called me crying Friday night.  I don't know all info, but know some.  It isn't going to be quick.  It will be at least 2 or 3 weeks.  They will fly her back eventually or if you live close they might bus her or let u pick her up.  Don't call ship 5, even though number is on here.  If you do, she will get harassed for the rest of her time there about her "mommy" calling.  My son said the food is good.  She will be allowed 2 calls per week and can go on facebook sometimes if she pays 5 dollars.  She can receive mail.  I will send u address in morning.  The first step will be for her to meet with legal which won't happen in less than a week.  The more she needs a drs care, the longer she will be in there because she has to be fft, fit for travel.  In other words, they have to make sure she is ok since the navy is responsible if anything happens to her on way home.  She will be charged 650 for uniforms and another bill for 400 when she gets home for the clothes and backpack they send her home with.  That is one of the things that upsets me the most.  My son has to pay over a grand for clothes he will never want to wear again.

[donnad]

Not sure if my answer is one that is the same for anyone else who has had a child go through the separation process, but, my son (who is now home) told me he was told he could appeal but he had to stay at GL and, for him, it would have been 16 weeks.  Ship 5 is not a very pleasant place to be, and he told me 16 weeks there would have been unbearable.  In addition, if you appeal, you are in no way guaranteed that your appeal will be granted.  His feeling was he would come home, re-enlist at a later date.  Unfortunately, after doing lots of research re the separation process, Navy over-recruiting, I learned that less than one percent of our SRs who re-enlist are actually able to do so.  Hope this helps.

[Chantily6971]

I heard the same thing about appealing, that it takes 4-6 months and you have to stay on ship 5 all that time.  According to my son, he can't last that long in there.

[diannep]

There was actually a SR recently who was being discharged for a hearing situation.  He stayed and fought it...and won.  But for him, it was a medical decision that was reversed in just a few weeks.  I believe he graduated last week or will this week.  There was also another mom who posted that her son was separated during bootcamp, and he was able to obtain a waiver and get back in a year later.  Not sure what the issue was....but I agree with donnad:  With the overmanning of the Navy, over-recruiting, it is very hard to get back in once separated.  For anyone who thinks they can survive it, it is always better to stay up there and fight while in bootcamp.  Even Craig (one of our N4Moms veterans who is a retired sailor himself) gives this same advice.  But he admitted that staying in Ship 5 can be pretty rough for long periods of time.

[bsbll05m]

There is a group on facebook called ship 05 SEPS which gives some sound advice to families of people who have been separated from the Navy.  I highly encourage all of you to join it.  The people who run it (Moirah and Bre especially) are knowledgeable of the process of separation and do it without the drama I am seeing here.It is my understanding through my son and this site that the medical end of ship 05 is very nice and the recruits are treated very well as long as they are behaving.  They are still SR's until they are released and are expected to live up to that standard.  Are we all disappointed by our sons and daughters being SEPS? Are they?  Of course, but much of this is done for good reason.  In order to be a good soldier, there are high physical and psychological standards that must be met.  After all, these young men and women may be called into action to defend our country.  Before blasting the Navy, think really carefully about why your family member is coming home and realize you need to show a good strong front to them when they arrive home.  Anger rarely solves anything.  Maybe there is something else, equally important that lies ahead for them.

[Vickie]

My son is in the division.  Can anyone tell me what this ship is like ... is it truly as bad as people say it is?