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Comment by NevadaSierra on September 1, 2009 at 11:04am

Welcome to EllenB and the other newbee's! This is a great place to be. You will find lots of support and answers. There are a lot of other groups. For instance there is a Washington/Oregon group and a more specific group for Bangor. Very helpful in many ways. Our sailor just finished four years of sub duty - and we only got one e-mail. Of course, he is married so that could have made a difference if he had to make a choice as to who to contact. Family first! There are groups according to jobs too. As Kaye has said there is a NUKE group for those of us whose sailor's are Nukes. Spend some time searching, and digging. This is a great place to be. ~s

Comment by Kaye S. on September 1, 2009 at 12:57am

Welcome, EllenB! The best advice is to just hang in there. You're a newbie again, now. And you'll be a newbie one more time, when he's assigned to his boat. After that, you'll start becoming a "salty mom" (like an "old salt"). I can't tell you anything about Groton, 'cuz I have a Nuke. But, there's lots of good info in the discussions found above (click "View All") and there's another group for Groton moms, too. Hugs! k.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 31, 2009 at 4:17am

I got the skinny version - I cook, he eats, I gain. There's no danger that we'll spend anymore money on the house. Since our high-maintenance child #2 dropped out of West Point and is at Univ of OK with out-of-state tuition, and the taxes in CA have gone up, and any extra $ has gone into our investment properties, and all our properties have gone south in value - we are just two senior citizens delaying retirement. In all honesty, I am happy my husband doesn't want to retire. He is happy to be considered an elder in the legal community. He has outlasted or outlived the majority of the lawyers and judges in the county! Besides, why would I want him to stay around the house and puck things up. He is already irritated that I am having fun on the N4M site and not paying him enough attention. Oops! It's 1:15 am. Better power down. He is coming.

Kaye S. Will add you as friend and pm you with more thoughts.

Comment by Kaye S. on August 30, 2009 at 2:05pm

Bea,
Thanks for the "links" compliment. But, I'm not sure I understand your suggestion. There IS a discussion here called "Lovely Links to Know," which are links that Sub Moms would find interesting or helpful.

I also have links at my personal page under "Tons of Info About Submarines." But I think those links are all in the discussion here. Help me understand what you think would help. Thanks! k.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 30, 2009 at 1:40pm

Twenty years ago, I wanted to do this big remodel, he was convinced that we would be bankrupt, if we went through with the project. I couldn't stand it anymore. We HAD to do it. He said OK, as long as he did NOT have to do a thing. I did it all - coming up with the concept, hiring architect, selecting the materials, getting permit approval, getting bids, hiring contracor, supervising the contruction, finding a rental house, moving us out & finally moving us back in (in 10 months). The contractors knew my husband was easy going, as far as the construction was concerned. They would tried to ask him for approvals instead of little old me. One time, the contractor said to my husband, "Do you mind if we make the ceiling in the family kitchen 12 feet instead on what is in the architect's drawings?". Husband said, "Sure. It's OK." I drove right to the site and informed the guys that the ceiling better be 14 feet 8 inches or no one was getting paid. The babies were just 1 and 5 years old. I was also working full time in real estate sales. I thought I was going to die.
Fast forward 20 years. Whenever anyone compliments us on the design or redoing the house when construction cost was affordable, my husband smiles and say, "We had a great concept. It wasn't that hard." HA! MEN!

Comment by LLovesmysailor on August 30, 2009 at 11:50am

Bea, Well, I finally got a picture up. I used my youngest son's, but for security reasons, I can't put up my other son's pic. So I changed the name to reflect the fact that both my sons are in the Navy. One Nuke, One Spook.
I'm still negotiating with the contractor over the basement. I won't sign anything until the contract reflects what he's actually going to do and what I'm going to pay him. I think, at this point, he's more frustrated than I am. I know he thinks I'm a royal pain and I don't care. On another point,,I sent my husband out to get bathroom tile for the basement. Something mid-range in price, simple right. The guy came home with marble tile. Beautiful, but there goes the budget.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 29, 2009 at 8:37pm

LynLove, what's up with the name change. That remodeling must be really getting to you. No wonder my son refuses to take photos. I'd pay good money to one of his ship mates for some pics. Maybe I should put out a SOS to other moms on his boat.
Just Bea S. ing.

Kaye S. - the links discussion is good. Can you start a new group/forum and put them all in there? Suggested title:
Links For N4Ms: Reference LInks; Links for Navy Moms; Good Links and of course Lovely Links

I think we need one more subject in the main menu bar above - ADVICE or JUST ASK This group should go under that. Mark has provided tons of great info. But it's a response to a question asked. Newbies won't always see it. The info should be consolidated. Search an appropriate group for something, then going through pages of comments to find the useful ones is inefficient (if someone needed real hardcore info).
For example, the Rescue a Sailor group is great with lots of delicated people but I find the way it's organized distracting. My thought on Pit Stops would be to put the people on a map with links. If you have a need, you get on a web site, cick on a link and get the info directly. The only question would be the privacy factor. You can make it so it's password protected.

Comment by LLovesmysailor on August 29, 2009 at 7:40pm

I don't know about the "theme parties". I've seen some of the pictures from the parties on my son's sub. Halloween last year was crazy. I am not even going to attempt to describe the guy in the diaper. LOL

Comment by Kaye S. on August 29, 2009 at 5:14pm

Shannon, one thing to remember is that everything is always changing with the Navy. You'll probably have a good address within six months. You'll know who your Ombudsman is soon. You'll know how to describe his boat and/or his work. Both of you are still in the "newbie" stage of Navy life... I promise that you'll both get better at this with time.

When asked about the secret side of my Sailor's life, I've answered with pride, "All I know is that it ISN'T panty raids or theme parties!"

And Bea S. ain't-a-foolin'... TAKE THE CALL, no matter what time! Hugs, k.

Comment by BunkerQB on August 29, 2009 at 4:12pm

Shannon, I know what you mean. People look at you and think you are trying to be coy, haughty or obnoxious. "Can you just call him? Why don't you get him a cell phone? You don't know where he is? How can you stand that?" Without screaming, I politely answer that it sucks big time, especially when I miss his birthday, when we are not together at Xmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, or any other of the holidays we use to be together. To be honest, I don't try to explain to people outside of the military "family" anymore. I bitch on this site instead. Wait until you get those calls at 2 am your time. My son always forgets the time difference. We are complete zombies the next date. Hey, I am a M&M woman (that is between menopause and Medicare) - having the phone ring in the middle of the night is nerve racking. But we wouldn't dream of asking him NOT to call - those calls, it's what we live for.
Bea

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