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Comment by Shea on October 28, 2015 at 8:33pm

Navymom9828 he will be fine I'm sure. My son is a C/B student who could have made A's if he had just studied! He's no dummy, plays multiple instruments but hated to open a book. He did say for that class he felt like he never knew how he did on the tests. If memory serves I think there's help if they are struggling with a class. They don't want them to fail. They've got to much money invested in them!

Comment by Shea on October 28, 2015 at 8:13pm

Navymom9828 from what my son says that class is a very basic computer network/hardware class. He said it was a little difficult and yes they have to pass to stay on subs.

Comment by LindaGirl on October 28, 2015 at 7:52pm

Angie, as far as I know, Calendar Squares are only for long deployments.  Because Calendar Squares are usually used as a fund-raiser   ($1.00 for an every day square, &  $5.00 for a holiday square), the info is put out by the ombudsman for who ever wants to buy a square or several squares & then aviable dates are given out from which to choose.

Comment by LindaGirl on October 28, 2015 at 7:37pm

ELO Navy, keeping my fingers crossed for you that your son changes his mind & will put you on the Ombudsman list.

Comment by mrsb on October 28, 2015 at 7:10pm

I also want/wanted to know everything and I think it really frustrated my son.  A few months ago my older son got a really long email from my sailor and I just lost it!  After all, I was the one who sent care packages to Groton pretty much every month; I was the one who ordered big cookies and cakes for him in Groton; I still wrote letters to him and sent him emails when he was underway.  After I saw that huge email he sent to my other son I guess I was jealous, that he spent so much time writing to him and I got nothing.  I cried and had a fit; I felt really dumb after I got an email from sailor the next day.  (older son texted him and told him to contact me ASAP!) He apologized and said he could tell things to his brother that he couldn't tell me, that he was unhappy, depressed, and didn't want me to know how miserable he was at the time.  Anyway, I am glad that he and his brother are so close and I have learned to let go, as hard as it is/was.  He is deployed now and I feel somewhat at peace with it.  He always calls before they leave and when they get back. I may not be the first on his list but I'm always happy to hear his voice.  He is my baby and it just seemed harder to let him go.  Now I know how my mom felt when I moved out at 19; I couldn't understand why she was crying, but now I do.  He will always be my baby and I will always love him and my other two kids with all my heart.  

I did send two calendar squares to the ombudsman before they left. I hope I don't embarrass him!!!  His birthday is Nov. 1st and I didn't get his birthday so I did a belated square with a picture of him at his 3rd birthday with some cute stickers on it.  I'm sure he will get a kick out of it but I hope he doesn't get teased!!  The other one was stickers also, little dogs, and I printed out the faces of our dogs and glued them on.  Am sure he will like that one.  This was my first time doing them and wasn't really sure what to do.  Sorry to ramble, and I'm really sorry that some of you loving moms are having difficulties.  I pray that it all gets better for you.

Comment by SlezaksMom on October 28, 2015 at 5:41pm

It was very tough, but we talk on his terms (& mine) now, he calls me in his purrs of call and I'm lucky enough to be on the Ombudsman's list and volunteered for call duty!

Yes, I want to know everything, too. And to my sailor, sometimes it's just not on his radar. N4Moms helps during those times for sure.

What I love about this community of moms is the support, the genuine caring and that there are people here willing to share their tough times in an effort to let others know that you CAN do this!!

Fun story: he called me last night because his roommate adopted a cat that had fleas. They were de-fleaing the whole apartment and he wanted me to tell him how he could ensure his new expensive bed was not going to eat him alive. I recommended buying on of those water and allergy proof mattress covers. He exclaimed to his roommate, "I told you my mom would know how not to have to throw our beds out AND not have us sleep in chemicals!! Thanks mom, I love you!! Gotta go!"

I sent him a text telling him to use the sterilize function at the laundry mat for his conforter...he told me he would have been eaten from the top.

Baby steps, Moms. Baby steps.

Comment by angier on October 28, 2015 at 5:34pm

Are the calendar squares for when they go on deployment? How do I go about getting involved in that? Again I just want to say Thank you so much to all of the Moms for your support, comments, truth, & information. I now know that I will be much better at handling everything.  Hugs to all 

Comment by bcgoldy03 on October 28, 2015 at 5:03pm

Slezaksmom Angier and Navymom9828

If only there was a manual, rule book etc... for how to deal with those painful difficult situations when your child is not really a child but not an adult either and making a big mess. I had a very similarly painful story Slezaksmom only throw in a new husband and 2 other children (younger) in the household. The new husband took money out of his retirement funds to pay for the now sailor to go to college and over and over he failed out, lied, wasted all the tens of thousands of dollars, partied and was generally a lazy bum. Did the same as Slezaksmom, set a timeline that of course he did not adhere to and he moved in for a very short time with his dad but that didnt work out either. What is the take away message here is that when pushed out of the nest he rose to the occasion, joined the Navy on his own accord, passed through Nuke school, Prototype, and it's now been 4 years since that awful time. I wish I could say he never hurts my feelings like that anymore but, well, sometimes he still does. He is closer to his dad and for important events where family is limited, it's always his dad and that still hurts. He calls dad first when coming back to port after long deployments ouch. But I smile, let go of the momentary pain, and remember how much worse this could have been! I am very proud of him and I try very hard to focus on the pride, on the many accomplishments, and most of all that he must feel so much better about himself where he is compared to where he was back then. Hugs to all the moms out there for all that we go through, all our struggles, tears, fears, and most of all though, for all our pride in our sailors! This place for Moms helped me through a very dark time too. Thankful for all of you! Pats on the backs to all the moms, especially to the ones who have had such painful times getting here. 

Comment by tysmom on October 28, 2015 at 4:32pm

Good advice from everyone. It is hard to let go....They are now men and expected to act like men(women). Responsibility will be learned and they do come around.

I tend to want to know EVERYTHING!!! I also had to learn just to accept what was. I was put on the list and I do try to help the OMB if I can.

I will be going to HI and hopefully meet some of the OMB when I am there to get a card ministry going for the sailors to send home when deployed. Being able to get a real note out can be a morale booster, for the giver as well as the receiver.

It is a journey or should I say a roller coaster that we are on in one form or another.

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Comment by angier on October 28, 2015 at 3:57pm

SlezaksMom,

WOW!!  You sure were put the ringer and then some. Yes, I did already send the e-mail to the commander. Now after all the information and comments from all of the Moms I am sorry that I did. But...too late now I will have to deal with whatever happens.  Thank you so very much for sharing your life with me. I am at work reading it and had to bite my lip and hold my breath so I would not start crying uncontrollably.  From now on I will wait a few days and wait for other Moms advice before going thru with something I am not sure about. Thank you again so much for all that you shared.  I had no idea how much support was here.  I can only hope my son will see that what I did was out of love and concern.  Thanks Again Everyone  :) 

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