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Comment by William in Nashua on September 10, 2014 at 11:48am

My son took a Navy-taught course on how to teach financial planning to other sailors, while he was on the break between A school and Nuclear Power School.   He has always been a thrifty spender and a good saver he saves about 60% of his take home pay between investments or the TSP plan.  He already has enough to buy a house now.   Up until a year ago was still driving an old car he had since high school for his first three years in the Navy and I think he paid $4,000 for it back then.  He drove it for six or seven years until it was a  wreck: lately I have let him borrow a car we own but he did not want to ship it to Hawaii because he said the car is too nice and would get damaged or worn out in Hawaii Lol.   For a 24 year old kid he seems pretty well set up financially.  A lot better more responsible than I was at that age.

I think they all start to appreciate family more, after being underway a few times on a submarine.

Comment by Johanna on September 10, 2014 at 9:43am

Both of our Sailors sought Financial services on their own. They both have ROTH accts as well as substantial investment portfolios. They both own their cars outright and are able to take fun vacations when time allows. They all figure it our eventually.

Comment by LoriM (div 337--Kevin's submom) on September 10, 2014 at 9:27am

Sasharanger, thanks for the info on sending out golf clubs. My son was on the golf team in high school. He hasn't said he wanted his clubs yet. He is in WA. What type of box did you use?

That was funny about the I love you. My son always says "you too" when I tell him I love you. I told once in awhile you can say "I love you". He say those 3 words when he is getting ready to deploy.

Comment by tysmom on September 10, 2014 at 8:43am

Life is a learning curve.....let your son make his own decisions...he is getting a paycheck.....he may spend his $$$ as he wants.....oh but it is hard for parents when we are so sure they are making what we think wrong decisions.

Comment by Rhonda8881 on September 10, 2014 at 5:50am

scubagirl, you were not being selfish, we have all felt that way. 

Comment by scubagirl on September 10, 2014 at 12:19am

Rhonda8881, when I read about someone who has suffered the loss you have I have to kick myself and say to myself, "All your children are safe and well and you know where they are." I tell myself to be grateful of all I have.  Thank you for helping me kick myself again.  I have nothing to feel sorry about.  I was being selfish.  Our son will probably do as your son with  credit and it will make me so angry.  I worked in mortgages for years and I know how credit effects so much he will want to do in life. Car insurance is more with bad credit, mortgages are more and even your cell phone or cable can be affected. Car loans are higher.  He bought a new car almost two years ago on his own (no advice from us) and we bought the car from him just before he left for boot camp. He said he did not want a car in CT. We sold it for $4K less than was owed on it. That was money out of our pockets.  His dad suggested he stay out of debt and save his money.  We had an extra car he could use if he decided he needed a car.  He has bought a car up there and he has not told us about it.  I got the insurance policy in the mail this week.  My husband is out of the country on business this week and when he gets home Friday I will have to tell him about the car.  I have no idea how we will address this with our son.  We could have made his car payments on his car here until his paychecks started and then driven the car to CT when he said he was ready for it. We offered to get him out of debt and he liked the idea, no one forced him to get rid of the car.  I hope I can be as tough as you have been.  He does not ask for money and I know he knows his dad would not approve or be happy if he did.  Time to let him figure it out on his own, and just love him for the person he is now and wait for the person I know he will become.  Thanks so much for all the comments.

Comment by navyboy2012 on September 9, 2014 at 10:52pm

I know some of you already belong to this group, just adding for new people.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1d6iyaLiqt2kG26SgoXhc1U_P4zTRvGcCV2...

Comment by CO-TwinSalorsMom on September 9, 2014 at 10:48pm

My two go through spurts. sometimes I don't here from them for a long time. Then get nice calls and hours of texting. All part of them separating. It also has made me think about how often I have not called my own family and I try harder.

Comment by Rhonda8881 on September 9, 2014 at 10:41pm

P.S. scubagirl...... my sailor was 22 when he enlisted and we were stupid also. That continued for a few years until I got tired of him calling asking for money when he ran out and had maxed out his loans at Navy Federal.  I finally told him I would not send more money and until he showed some respect and consideration for me, he would not receive calls or anything from me. He was about 24 or 25 at that time.  I finally told him at 26 that I thought he was finally growing up some!!! Real life will bring him around eventually!

Comment by Rhonda8881 on September 9, 2014 at 10:25pm

scubagirl, my sailor is our oldest child. He was raised to think of others, help when needed and be respectful of others. Did not matter that is how we raised him.....he has always been about "me first". Going into the Navy made him realize that we do matter.  He does show us much more respect than he did before the Navy. He has been in almost 8 years now.  He still does NOT send birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, Mother's day, Father's day or souvenirs from deployments.  His last deployment ended in Feb. 13... we received souvenirs when we went to Hawaii for his wedding June of 14 and not the original ones he told me about either.... smaller ones!!!!!!  I am hoping now that he is married my daughter-in-love will remind him of these things. Not that he is rude, he just doesn't think of it.  His money was always for him to spend on him!!!  I am very proud of him though, he bought a house 3 weeks after the wedding all on his own. His credit score was excellent (it was the opposite 3 years ago)!  It is even worse for us now because we lost his younger brother in a car wreck last year December. I just have to remember, it is not our fault!!!  He still doesn't call very often either! But is good about returning my calls since last Dec. probably because his Dad told he better so I don't lose my mind!!! LOL

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