Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Hello!  My youngest daughter arrived at Boot Camp two weeks ago.   I haven't received her letter yet but I think it may still be too early. I am terrified that I will miss her phone call.  Does anyone know if they only call on Sundays or can it be any day/time?

can be anytime but we got the majority on Sunday  from area code 847 which is Waukegan.. just answer them all and keep the ringer up.. I think mine's letter showed up after his first call lol..

Unfortunately I was not able to attend his swearing.  Our MEPS has been closed publicly since COVID.  I didn't even get his picture from DEP.  I did get the notification from Sandboxx today, but not really sure how I am feeling about it.  I have watched the docuseries and trying to ingest all that I can about what he is going through. 

My son is a Nuke and more of an introvert.  I think it will be a good fit.  While I was worried about the fitness testing, my son was more worried about the schooling.  

I am going to read about the letter writing and fun stuff.  I have been writing daily, but it feels like they are just little notes. I wouldn't mind him giving extras to the other that may not have anyone, but I thought that they were not to have any sort of contact with the other SR's.  Or is that just physical contact?  I am already saving boxes for care packages when he gets into school.

I haven't had a breakdown in a couple of days.  The sadness and loneliness come in waves.  Right now I am just trying to find a new normal in my day to day.  TikTok is the devil, but boy does it just help pass the time.  I haven't felt like doing anything that I would normally enjoy.  It has only been a week, but it feels so much longer than that.

@Amy My son left on 6/9 and I got a call from him last Saturday, the 25th, around noon. Definitely keep that ringer on because it can come anytime. 

Good Evening everyone! I am officially home from vacation, so no more long car rides when I can spend lots of time on this site. I am glad to see more of you posting and more of you reaching out to each other. 

It is interesting to hear that calls are coming in on Sunday because "pre Covid" I don't think they did so the SRs did not have to decide between attending chapel and a phone call. But I think they have changed chapel time so not all the divisions go at the same time if they want to. Which means phone call times may have changed as well. 

Amy, my son called on Saturdays. The first one my youngest missed and that was really hard on him. The 2nd one, my son called my phone, I happened to be the one driving home from a swim meet for his brother. I could not get my phone out of my pocket soon enough. I was so upset. But then my husband's phone rang and it connected to the car phone and all of us were able to talk to my son. He said that if we did not answer, he would have just gone down the list and started calling his other siblings (both married) and then his G'ma. 

Hopefully, your daughter will try to call back. If able, we sometimes suggest putting a voicemail on your phone that says you love them and are sorry you missed their call and to call back or call someone else. As tgcunny said, keep the phone loud and close by. I never turn my ringer off anymore - except in a movie or concert and then I text all of my kids. Otherwise, I answer my phone.

JNMnavymomOH - I am sorry that you were not able to attend the swearing in, that is hard and so much has changed in the last couple of years. You joined the Nuke Moms group and there are a few of you close together with a Nuke. Be sure to friend each other, I am still friends with some of my Nuke Moms that went in around the same time. 

Your sailor needs to be able to deal with the physical fitness, (especially the Nukes, my son used to have PT a lot more often than he does now that he is on a ship) but the school is tough with lots of long hours, so it is understandable that is what he is concerned about. 

Staying busy is helpful. I told my son that my summer was probably going to go by faster than his and it continues to be that way. 

Amy - Be sure to join the Moms of Daughters 2 group, I left the link earlier today, I think. 

Moms of Daughters 2 - Navy For Moms (ning.com)

We received the "I am here" phone call last night. And so the countdown starts. I met a wonderful mom at the hotel, we exchanged contact information and talked back and forth as our boys were in the same travel group and they have the same group rating.

Can someone explain what group rating means? Rate? Thank you !

Good morning Ladies, I noticed alot of Nuke Moms so I wanted to chime in to help with the anxieties.  My son was one that did not make it through the Nuke program, not the end of the world. I want to assure you that yes this program is very tough but their commander's and instructors will do everything possible to help them get through it. They don't want them to fail and if they show they are willing to put in the time and effort that their commander's will do whatever it takes to see them succeed. They will also need a very strong support system from home, this is where you will come in. As soon as you get those addresses send out those supportive letters, back their decisions but also let them know that no matter what you have their backs. Recruiters push the Nuclear program but it isn't always the best fit for everyone, just being selected for it is a honor to your recruit, it shows how hard they worked to get that far. However their value is in their character, their desire to serve their country in whatever capacity the Lord chooses for them.

nursekim - I will probably be corrected by one of the "veteran" moms here, I even asked my son the other day - but basically when we are referring to group or rate - in general laymen's terms basically what job will they be doing.  But it is a little more technical than that. For Nukes (since that is what I know best), they go to BC with a Nuke contract. After about 6 weeks in BC they will go to the career counselors and have their "rate" picked for them. For Nukes they head to their A school as either MM, EM, or ET, they do not earn the N after those letters until they have at least completed A school, I think. (Sorry that was almost 5 years ago.). Nuke MMs, EMs, & ETs, are different than just the regular rates with those same letters. My son is now currently an ETN2 - Electronics Technician (Nuclear) Second Class Petty Officer - that is his job title and his pay rank is E5. 

Just to make things even more unclear!! :-) 

Rating and rate tend to be interchanged a lot when people talk or post, which adds to the confusion and I may still not be correct. I tend to think of rating as the job and rate as the Paygrade. 

Here is a link to one of Lemonelephants pages in the upper left - be sure to click view all when reading through those.

E-1, E-2, or E-3? How did that happen?

Also, different jobs will tend to advance faster than others. While Nukes might go in at a high rate to begin with, especially if they have other things that can advance their rate (paygrade) prior to BC, the time it takes for them to advance in paygrade can take a lot longer than for a sailor with a different job.  I say this, because it is easy to want to compare, but that is hard on everyone. Your loved one will have a better understanding of what the advancement rates (%) are for their job, the longer they are in the Navy. 

nursekim, rate is actually your job title. Whatever job your recruit signed a contract for is his rate. Mine is AT, that is his rate. If you Google Navy rate if will explain it and give you examples of several rates. Some Recruits go in without a rate assigned to them, they will eventually receive one. Hope that helps.

Northwoodsmom - Thanks for jumping on! I am going to be very busy now catching back up on the home front after my visit to my sailor and sailor gal. I am so glad things are working out well for your son.

Cindi@FrostyAcres - Now begins what we refer to as "the great silence".  These next 2 - 3 weeks can be some of the hardest withdrawals from communication with our loved one. Our mantra around here is "No News is Good News!" That does not mean don't answer phone calls from unknown numbers still or if your SR calls that it is necessarily bad news. Sometimes they do call because they need more information. I have always answered all of my phone calls, that is how I was raised way before cell phones and answering machines. But I have learned to quickly hang up on the spam calls. I do not recall, but B'sNukeMom posts occasionally, there is a setting on some phones that will block calls and it could actually block a call from your SRs calling card # or GL, so if you have that option, be sure to disable it. My apologies I don't know what it is exactly. 

I encourage everyone - I know this time is tough, we all deal with it differently, but our role has changed from always knowing exactly where our kids are, or what they are doing, to letting go. This time of great silence prepares us and them for duty in the fleet. Especially if they are going Subs.  I was on the phone with my MIL last night and she was sharing when my husband went off to BC, she had to turn her thoughts and feelings of depression or loneliness and her own concerns, towards prayer and thoughts of love and encouragement for her son, my husband. Years later (he was reserves), I was in a similar situation with him going to summer camp and we had a toddler. I started feeling sorry for myself, and just lonely missing him, and my mother, not my MIL, told me the same thing that my MIL shared with me last night that she had to do. 

Our kids are facing something so new and different for them, and we do worry, we get concerned, for me it helped to have a little bit of a timeline (my husband found something online and I did not know about this site until right before PIR). I used that, the RTC Bootcamp website, and encouragement from another lady in our church whose son was currently on active-duty reserves, to help me get through, as well as a lot of prayer. The more I had an idea of what he might be doing, the easier it was for me to focus how to encourage him in letters and pray for him. 

Northwoodsmom - Thanks!

So I got a surprising call from my son last night. He has lost his covid card and needs me to send him a physical copy. It was so great to hear his voice and now I know which division he is in :))

Good Morning and Happy Thursday!

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

AKA-PJ - be sure to keep a copy of the card before you send it.

Good Morning All, hope this day finds all you New Navy Moms well. Well here is a little joke, I tell you I felt like this many a times, LOL!

AKA-PJ:  do you know where he got his shots?  Call them now and ask if it is possible to get a copy made....  the pharmacy i had mine done at, copied it and gave me a new one when mine accidentally got ripped...  

I'm sure you all know there is much yelling going on in BC, many of you may have heard it over the I'm here call. another little joke.

Ladies you will be fine, the hardest part will be no communication, and that is hard on us Moms as we were always in the Know. Believe me when I say they miss us just as much as we miss them. Letters and encouragement will be the thing to do. send pics of the family of the dog/cat  let them know about their favorite teams and what is happening. I'm sure they would like to know.

I feel like I'm a bootcamp mom again....  2 years in and I'm sitting here jumping every single time my email notification goes off.  My sailor is out and I'm waiting for that email that says hey mom....  and complains about no sleep and long hours. BNMHs I hope you all receive letters/calls today. My mail day was always Wednesday or Thursday 

NHMnavymomOH  We can't go to our son's swearing in either -not for DEP and not before he ships out on Monday the 11th. My son is also a nuke - he's most concerned about life as a nuke (or not having a life) - and his GF ships off a week later and will be a cryptologist. Collectively they are worried about the time apart they will have over these next 6 years. My heart hurts for both of them.  Trying to keep my own sadness at bay until we say goodbye Sunday night at the hotel - don't want my son to carry that with him on top of everything else. My savior so far in these early stages has been these groups here and a few FB groups I joined. So grateful to hear the stories - everyone is in a different place in this journey - I'm learning so much. 

Bootcamp moms--  I just wanted to encourage you all!  It's normal to have ALL the feelings!! When my Sailor left I was a HOT MESS!! He had gone to MEPS a year before and was in DEP his entire Senior Year so it wasn't like I didn't know it was coming but when the time came I just melted down!  I couldn't stop crying when we took him out to dinner the night before.  My DH Found this site and I DEVOURED everything I could find.  The ladies were AMAZING and they were the ones who let me know I could go to MEPS and see him swear in and go to the Airport to wait till he flew out.  They told me what milestones to look for and that NO News was Good news.  They also showed me that it's ok to not be ok with this path your kid has chosen but that WE (parents) Don't get to make the choice.  My DH was Navy when we got married and I understood the lifestyle and the emotions that went with that too and that was part of why I didn't want my kids to serve. 
One day I just needed to get it out!  The KIB (Kid In a Box-- All the stuff they took to BC-- They don't do this anymore) Had arrived but there was no letter, no phone call and no communications.  So I went to his room, put his Senior Picture on his bed and LET IT GO!!! I Yelled, I Cried, I Beat the bed, I Punched the Pillows, I said ugly things and fearful things and Loving things..... What I forgot was to make sure the house was empty... After a while I looked up and my Dear Husband (DH) was standing in the door with our shaking pup... He asked if he needed to call someone to get me some help!  I Burst out laughing!! It was cathartic and I felt a million times better for having said out loud all the things that had been running through my head but my poor husband, pup and youngest were sure I had just had a complete mental break from reality and they were concerned!  If you choose this route (I Do Recommend it!!) Just make sure you warn your loved ones or better still make sure you are alone!
We are 9 years in with at least 3 more to go. He's planning to go career (20 years) so I expect many more years.  It's not always Sunshine and roses.  It was Brutal that his first duty station was overseas but on the positive side it motivated us to go to Italy! He has made stupid choices that had real consequences but he has learned and matured from them. He has cried about being lonely and he has had times when he struggled to make friends but overall the Navy has been good for him and he has finally figured out how to keep those friends even when they are time zones apart.  (Covid was a positive in that respect!)

It's ok to not be sure how you feel right now. Just know that this is a Safe place to express all those feelings whatever they may be!  We will not judge or reject anyone.  We are here to help you navigate the Navy waters!! If you need a safe Harbor we will be that!  IF you need someone to help you chart your course, we are here for that too!  If you are lost in a storm of emotions, We will light your way to calmer waters!! And if you just need an Anchor to hold fast to we are here for that too!!
We haven't lost a mom to Boot Camp yet, we aren't going to start with any of You!!

belovedbyHim .... thank you!! Your post is so encouraging and supportive. I'm sooo grateful the recruiter sent me to this site. It's been such a blessing to find you ladies!!  I'm fighting tears every day - and I can already envision myself just sitting in his room and totally losing it... so good advice to be sure no one is around ;)  

I wish I had been able to hold in my emotions, to be strong like that. I did do better talking with him when I actually left him than I had in the 24 hours previous, but I was still crying. He had tears in his eyes when I left, but I am pretty sure that within a few minutes he was right as rain and not upset at all. 

belovedbyHim, the story that saved me, it's as meaningful to me as it was 2.5 years ago. Ladies, I really thought I lost my mind and was heading for the funny farm until this courageous Mom shared her story. I remember telling my husband " see I am not anymore crazier than the rest of them. Thanks for sharing it again!

Beloved Thank you for sharing, I remember My craziness, my poor Hubby love him for staying by my side. I was actually mourning my Son and he was in Bootcamp. I'm telling you we all Have been through this roller coaster of a ride! I started learning the talk so when he did call I would blow him away, LOL! It worked!!!!

• What does ??? mean? (A Guide to Navy Abbreviations and Terminology)

Thanks for the rate info and the laughs!

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
(Alice Adventures in Wonderland)

With letters, I am not a natural cheerleader so I had to look for ways that would feel normal to our sailor to uplift. I found a couple of joke books from when he was a kid and tried to end each letter with a silly joke, military or Navy related, if possible. We are from a small town and I would photo copy the "Happenings" section of our weekly town paper and include on the back of the letters.  Those things he shared with the guys around him. Sounds like most could not believe "The Smith's trip to town for allergy shots" was considered news! I think anything you can send that makes them smile and gives them opportunity to share part of themselves and bond with these strangers is positive.  Our sailor has even brought buddies home to visit because they needed to see a town that was so small it doesn't have a stop light. The other thing I did was recruit some trusted family members to write to our sailor. It took some of the pressure off of me trying to write daily and  turned out to be a really fun surprise for him. You never know what inspiration other people can provide. He was actually very tickled to get a letter from a great uncle who is his cribbage buddy and our elderly neighbor who he was close to growing up. Just a caution to make sure anyone that you give your recruit's address to understands the parameters of sending mail (no glitter, newsprint, food, distressing news etc) I had thought I was clear with my instructions, but my MIL sent our sailor a Christmas card with a panda express gift card in it. Our sailor had to open the card in front of someone. In the card she had written "hope you are having fun" The RD asked our sailor if his grandma knew where he was??  It is a funny family story now, but it could have gotten him punishment and I felt bad about that. 

AKA-PJ - Welcome to BC Mom and Loved Ones Group!!

Nursekim- You are welcome! 

tammybikerunfaithlove - I am sorry that you will not be able to attend your son's swearing in. - Navy life for two sailors is not easy. I am back from visiting mine but now I am playing catch up on my home front projects, but feel free to ask me any questions, I will try to get some information sent to you soon.

JNMnavymomOH - It is okay if you could not keep all of those tears in check. 

Good evening to all of my fellow Beyond BC moms! Shanny, hopefully you get your message soon. I need to send a note to mine as well. 

AgnesB:  your sailor would fit in well in our town!  No traffic lights here. Population for town and surrounding township is around 800. Maybe 850. Haven't seen any recent numbers. Our high school and middle school are in one building. And there are corn fields on two sides of it 

BTW - someone had asked about sending mail for other recruits - does anyone have more information on that? As I recall, mail has to be addressed to a specific SR. But you can enclose in your SRs letter an extra letter for someone. Sometimes, members would send an extra questionnaire or two. 

As far as your SR giving something to another SR or talking to them, the male recruits cannot fraternize with the female recruits or pass notes. And also, I don't think they were allowed to share their addresses or phone numbers with each other - because my son could not even get his bunkmate to share a phone number the morning of PIR and they have completely lost contact with each other.  But I have heard of moms who have written extra letters to be passed out and also, I think even received mail back from someone that had no one else to write to. 

Yes you can include an extra letter in the letters to your SR and they can share that at mail call.  After BS21 they are Sailors and they CAN share phone or email info.  They are allowed to speak to other SR's but not cross genders and not in the early days.  When in doubt they can ask their RDC for permission to share the extra letter.  I have never heard about anyone getting in trouble for that.

My son's bunkmate was very much a stickler to the letter of the law, my son said, that he was afraid to share info with my sailor. Due to his circumstances after PIR and trying to get his orders squared away, they never connected again. It saddened my son, because he said his bunkmate helped him out a lot and from what I gathered, my son helped his bunkmate out as well. 

BelovedbyHim - Thanks for clarifying!!

Osheatoo2 - if you go to this link and then scroll down past the ship address, there is information on delay for training - Recruit Training Command - FAQ (navy.mil) - Hopefully, one or two of our moms who have dealt with this while their sailor was in will be able to assit you. I commented on your profile page. 

Osheatoo2 -- A lot of the info would depend on where in the training they failed the PFA. Is it the initial PFA? A mid-point PFA? The Final PFA?  All of those would have different outcomes for your SR.

Good Morning All, Happy friday!

Osheatoo2  this site will give you all info about what is needed to pass PFA they get chances and help to pass, there are a few test that need to be done.

See Physical Fitness Assessment (PFA) and Fitness Improvement Training (FIT).

I’m watching sporadically at work! It’s impressive!! I can’t wait to attend!!!! 
I wish my son had continued to play the trumpet but his high school didn’t have band

nursekim it is Amazing in person, take tissue because its a tear jerker when you see there Div. walking in. They all look alike so its hard to tell your loved one apart. I had a hard time. But it was a Fabulous Site to see!

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

nursekim, my son didn't join the performance group at BC but he had the opportunity to do some in Goose Creek but then Covid took away that opportunity. He played trumpet 8 years in school, they started him in 4th grade and started in junior band in 6th. He was very good but then life got in the way. I remember he use to do taps for memorial day and he also did a couple of funerals. Still brings tears to my eyes.

Northwoodsmom - I would encourage you to encourage your son to continue to practice his trumpet or when he is out of the Navy, or has weekends free to see about playing taps at veteran funerals. It is becoming less and less common for people to know how to play. 

Nursekim - It is sad that they did not have a band, but I also know if it was a small town, they probably did not. I don't think the little school that my mom worked at had a band. They had basketball but not football, so no marching season. 

My son told me he would have to quarantine 2 weeks since he was not vaccinated.  But someone on a facebook group said that is not true that they stopped that in Dec.  Regardless I am devastated as i have received 3 calls first 2 was he was in medical not doing good mental health wise and todays that is is being separated because he is purposely refusing the vaccine to get kicked out.  He has no idea what he is doing.  I thought maybe he was sad because in quarantine there is nothing to do but be in your head but now I hear that he was actually doing bootcamp? im confused and heartbroken.  he could have finished bootcamp by the time he is finished separating.  I wish I could find out more. 

Osheatoo2 - my daughter got set back 3x in her PFA! First time it was due to stress fractures in both legs, which apparently is experienced by many SRs. She spent about 2 months in RCU. She did the PT with her physical therapist/coach, tried again, but was short the recommended time on her run. Her coach really worked with her a lot, and between that, support from other SRs and her own determination to get the heck out of the abyss of RCU, she passed with more than a few seconds to spare. The running part of PFA is what gets a lot of SRs. Kids aren't as active like we were when we grew up!

Oh, that's  2x, not three! The Navy really wants the SRs to pass and the coaches will give them strategies and tips to help them.

@Navymom57 Is he refusing the vaccine while in boot camp? I want to make sure I understand correctly