Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Beloved Thank you for sharing, I remember My craziness, my poor Hubby love him for staying by my side. I was actually mourning my Son and he was in Bootcamp. I'm telling you we all Have been through this roller coaster of a ride! I started learning the talk so when he did call I would blow him away, LOL! It worked!!!!

• What does ??? mean? (A Guide to Navy Abbreviations and Terminology)

Thanks for the rate info and the laughs!

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
(Alice Adventures in Wonderland)

With letters, I am not a natural cheerleader so I had to look for ways that would feel normal to our sailor to uplift. I found a couple of joke books from when he was a kid and tried to end each letter with a silly joke, military or Navy related, if possible. We are from a small town and I would photo copy the "Happenings" section of our weekly town paper and include on the back of the letters.  Those things he shared with the guys around him. Sounds like most could not believe "The Smith's trip to town for allergy shots" was considered news! I think anything you can send that makes them smile and gives them opportunity to share part of themselves and bond with these strangers is positive.  Our sailor has even brought buddies home to visit because they needed to see a town that was so small it doesn't have a stop light. The other thing I did was recruit some trusted family members to write to our sailor. It took some of the pressure off of me trying to write daily and  turned out to be a really fun surprise for him. You never know what inspiration other people can provide. He was actually very tickled to get a letter from a great uncle who is his cribbage buddy and our elderly neighbor who he was close to growing up. Just a caution to make sure anyone that you give your recruit's address to understands the parameters of sending mail (no glitter, newsprint, food, distressing news etc) I had thought I was clear with my instructions, but my MIL sent our sailor a Christmas card with a panda express gift card in it. Our sailor had to open the card in front of someone. In the card she had written "hope you are having fun" The RD asked our sailor if his grandma knew where he was??  It is a funny family story now, but it could have gotten him punishment and I felt bad about that. 

AKA-PJ - Welcome to BC Mom and Loved Ones Group!!

Nursekim- You are welcome! 

tammybikerunfaithlove - I am sorry that you will not be able to attend your son's swearing in. - Navy life for two sailors is not easy. I am back from visiting mine but now I am playing catch up on my home front projects, but feel free to ask me any questions, I will try to get some information sent to you soon.

JNMnavymomOH - It is okay if you could not keep all of those tears in check. 

Good evening to all of my fellow Beyond BC moms! Shanny, hopefully you get your message soon. I need to send a note to mine as well. 

AgnesB:  your sailor would fit in well in our town!  No traffic lights here. Population for town and surrounding township is around 800. Maybe 850. Haven't seen any recent numbers. Our high school and middle school are in one building. And there are corn fields on two sides of it 

BTW - someone had asked about sending mail for other recruits - does anyone have more information on that? As I recall, mail has to be addressed to a specific SR. But you can enclose in your SRs letter an extra letter for someone. Sometimes, members would send an extra questionnaire or two. 

As far as your SR giving something to another SR or talking to them, the male recruits cannot fraternize with the female recruits or pass notes. And also, I don't think they were allowed to share their addresses or phone numbers with each other - because my son could not even get his bunkmate to share a phone number the morning of PIR and they have completely lost contact with each other.  But I have heard of moms who have written extra letters to be passed out and also, I think even received mail back from someone that had no one else to write to. 

Yes you can include an extra letter in the letters to your SR and they can share that at mail call.  After BS21 they are Sailors and they CAN share phone or email info.  They are allowed to speak to other SR's but not cross genders and not in the early days.  When in doubt they can ask their RDC for permission to share the extra letter.  I have never heard about anyone getting in trouble for that.

My son's bunkmate was very much a stickler to the letter of the law, my son said, that he was afraid to share info with my sailor. Due to his circumstances after PIR and trying to get his orders squared away, they never connected again. It saddened my son, because he said his bunkmate helped him out a lot and from what I gathered, my son helped his bunkmate out as well. 

BelovedbyHim - Thanks for clarifying!!

Osheatoo2 - if you go to this link and then scroll down past the ship address, there is information on delay for training - Recruit Training Command - FAQ (navy.mil) - Hopefully, one or two of our moms who have dealt with this while their sailor was in will be able to assit you. I commented on your profile page. 

Osheatoo2 -- A lot of the info would depend on where in the training they failed the PFA. Is it the initial PFA? A mid-point PFA? The Final PFA?  All of those would have different outcomes for your SR.

Good Morning All, Happy friday!

Osheatoo2  this site will give you all info about what is needed to pass PFA they get chances and help to pass, there are a few test that need to be done.

See Physical Fitness Assessment (PFA) and Fitness Improvement Training (FIT).

I’m watching sporadically at work! It’s impressive!! I can’t wait to attend!!!! 
I wish my son had continued to play the trumpet but his high school didn’t have band

nursekim it is Amazing in person, take tissue because its a tear jerker when you see there Div. walking in. They all look alike so its hard to tell your loved one apart. I had a hard time. But it was a Fabulous Site to see!

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

nursekim, my son didn't join the performance group at BC but he had the opportunity to do some in Goose Creek but then Covid took away that opportunity. He played trumpet 8 years in school, they started him in 4th grade and started in junior band in 6th. He was very good but then life got in the way. I remember he use to do taps for memorial day and he also did a couple of funerals. Still brings tears to my eyes.

Northwoodsmom - I would encourage you to encourage your son to continue to practice his trumpet or when he is out of the Navy, or has weekends free to see about playing taps at veteran funerals. It is becoming less and less common for people to know how to play. 

Nursekim - It is sad that they did not have a band, but I also know if it was a small town, they probably did not. I don't think the little school that my mom worked at had a band. They had basketball but not football, so no marching season. 

My son told me he would have to quarantine 2 weeks since he was not vaccinated.  But someone on a facebook group said that is not true that they stopped that in Dec.  Regardless I am devastated as i have received 3 calls first 2 was he was in medical not doing good mental health wise and todays that is is being separated because he is purposely refusing the vaccine to get kicked out.  He has no idea what he is doing.  I thought maybe he was sad because in quarantine there is nothing to do but be in your head but now I hear that he was actually doing bootcamp? im confused and heartbroken.  he could have finished bootcamp by the time he is finished separating.  I wish I could find out more. 

Osheatoo2 - my daughter got set back 3x in her PFA! First time it was due to stress fractures in both legs, which apparently is experienced by many SRs. She spent about 2 months in RCU. She did the PT with her physical therapist/coach, tried again, but was short the recommended time on her run. Her coach really worked with her a lot, and between that, support from other SRs and her own determination to get the heck out of the abyss of RCU, she passed with more than a few seconds to spare. The running part of PFA is what gets a lot of SRs. Kids aren't as active like we were when we grew up!

Oh, that's  2x, not three! The Navy really wants the SRs to pass and the coaches will give them strategies and tips to help them.

@Navymom57 Is he refusing the vaccine while in boot camp? I want to make sure I understand correctly

@nursekim yes.  He is purposely doing it so he can leave.  I understand hes homesick and I am receiving a letter from him today that was written last week.  I dont know what happend or whats going on in his head.  In our 2 minute call today i begged him to think about what he was doing and to stick it out.  He was crying and basically said I cant. 

Hello!  I got my form letter today, I feel like a 5 year old that got a letter from Santa.  Now I have an address and a PIR date. 

Amy - WooHoo!! That first bit of paper with just the handwritten address is enough to make a Momma's heart soar!! - As you make plans for PIR, remember to keep your reservations flexible!!

navymom57 - I am so sorry to hear this news. I wish I had more answers for you and a way to say I know how to help you get a direct line to your son - but I can't do that. BC is hard and stressful, the RDCs are yelling in your face, and I know my son said they kept asking him if he was homesick. He told me, "I wasn't homesick as much as I was afraid of doing something wrong."  My son was straight out of HS going to BC, he had a little bit of preparation for military authority and the yelling because of a leadership camp that he had been involved in for several years, but he was never in ROTC. The harshness and change of how things are handled and dealt with, even swearing can be more than some kids are ready to deal with. And yes, they are just kids - not only that, the divisions have to work together to become a team and not everyone has had the same love and caring upbringing as most of our sons or daughters have. 

I know Phoenixmom shared about how she kept encouraging her son, but we also did not have the COVID vaccine to deal with. (Which I don't know if they have done away with quarantining, but the shot is mandatory, I believe for those entering BC.) 

There is a point where you want to encourage and be supportive, but then there is also a point where you have to back off and let them know that you still love them and are proud of them, no matter what. Military life is not for everyone, but there is no shame in coming home. (Which is one of the reasons why we did not remove our son from our health insurance until after he was a sailor.) It is hard to know what is going on in their heads, their frontal lobe is not fully developed yet. 

BNMHs to you - Maybe someone else with a similar experience will have something to share. 

@Chipmunk, I bend but I do not break, so yes, the plans will be flexible.  I was excited that she was placed in a 900 division and she wrote a small note on the form letter - she wants me to stay in touch her boyfriend.  It's really funny because we have been texting, he is in A school so I have been bugging the poor young man with all my questions.

Amy, I am glad that you have learned how to be flexible!! I am glad that you also are able to be in communication with your daughter's bf. 

Awesome Amy!!

I'm so sorry to hear your son is having a hard time, NavyMom57. I hope he finds the strength to hang in there. If he ends up coming home, that's ok. BNMHs to you

NavyMom57 - I hope your son can hang in there. All the yelling (and sometimes cursing) can really get to the SRs but help him to remember that it's NOT personal. The RDCs break you down from your "old" self to build up a new self: confident, adaptable, self-reliant, steadfast and sturdy. Yeah, it's often not enjoyable, but building up a "new man" sure is rewarding. Sending up prayersfor uour son and you.

navymom57-- He may have had to quarantine.  We on here as well as FB Do not know for sure anything beyond what we are told by our sailors.  Sure we share info between each other but that's just scuttlebutt.  Refusing the Vaccine is grounds for separation either way.  Yes getting home is nearly as long as BC and much less fun.  He likely will come home via bus so be aware.  You will want to join the SEPS group to get more information from those who have been through that process.  I don't think the group here is very active but the one on FB is.  They can walk you through what to expect.
There is No shame in learning that they cannot complete Bootcamp.  Many more don't even try!  Depending on what the future brings and his discharge code there may be a chance for him to try again when he's older. 
I have a friend who was a Marine.  His son joined and only lasted 4 weeks!! He was 2 weeks longer to come home than BC would have been.  He just couldn't get past the yelling and the beat downs.  He's been home for almost 4 years and is so much happier with his life now.  He said he was glad he tried and he felt ashamed at first but once he got home and every one treated him kindly and he figured out what he really wanted to do (Still be an electrician, just not in the Navy) and that there was still a path to his chosen career (He's a major tinkerer) he just got happier than I'd seen him in years!  No matter what, Remind your Son that you Love him and you support his choice and you got his back.  He'll get it figured out even though right now his plans and path may not look so clear and he'll need you to still be his cheering section even if he falls from time to time!!

Amy -- YEA!!!! Those form letters don't say much but they speak volumes!!! Be sure to go up on this page to the highlighted articles and read up on the 900 Divs!! This likely means you MAY get to see your SR at the 2 PIRS before hers! Of course that will all depend on what job she has in the Div.

navymom57, I look up to this young man for realizing "this is not for me". It takes alot of guts to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. BC is not for everyone, I know I wouldn't of made it through day one. He sounds like a sensitive kid, what a wonderful trait to have but not made for the military. There are wonderful careers out there that require empathy for others. I am holding your son up in Prayer that he is able to see himself through God's eyes, perfectly made for a different path. Prayers to you as you support him through his decision!

Thank you everyone!

navymom57 - You are welcome! Please keep sharing and keep us up to date. 

How awesome for the call.. I'm happy for you.. I remember getting that first real call too.. happy tears.. glad he is doing well.

Q'sMomma, that's fantastic, so happy for you. There voices bring so much joy especially when you get such a positive phone call. Your head will be in the clouds for a while, hope it last till the next one, congratulations!

navymom57 - I think others said it much better than I could, but I'm also thinking of you. Our older son spent h.s. with the plan to pursue Navy ROTC and an engineering major. Even nominated for the Naval Academy. First day he absolutely hated ROTC, I told him to buck up, couldn't quit after first day. Everything new and different is tough yadda yadda yadda. I couldn't figure out how he could want something so much for so long and decide so quickly it was not for him. He ended up quitting ROTC and changing schools. I think he had a huge sense of failure for a long time and I feel badly not seeing that more clearly. He eventually switched majors and is currently working his masters. He has a passion for teaching and coaching we never glimpsed before. Our kids need him in that role more than our military needed him. There is a path out there for all of us and how differently we are wired. If he decides this is really not for him, then trust that he knows his heart.  I can only imagine they don't make it easy for them to quit. He may come home feeling battered. Whether he stays in or leaves it won't be easy, but you'll know how best to boost him up. Hugs for you both!

Good Morning  / Afternoon everyone!!

Just a friendly reminder -

Until you receive your SRs form letter with their address on it, there is no guarantee that any other address you have, say from a recruiter, is going to be correct and mail will be delivered to them faster, either from USPS or Sandboxx. 

(The only exception might be if your SR calls and gives you their Div # & Ship #, but it still may not mail right away - We did have to rely on this through COVID because of so much lost mail.) 

Each Division has to train a Mail Room Recruit Petty Officer to deal with the mail. Until that is accomplished all incoming mail is held to the best of my knowledge. I believe BelovedbyHim has shared that the Sandboxx App letters are even set aside in the early stage if there is not a RPO to pick up the mail and those are the last ones sorted. 

Once you receive the form letter & address then using either Regular or Sandboxx should work. I knew nothing about Sandboxx but my son received more mail than he could keep up with, between my letters and those from other friends. They do not have a lot of space to store letters. The Sandboxx letters arrive at RTC faster, but still have to be distributed by the Mail Room RPO. 

Remember: Sandboxx is likely writing a postcard!! It is visible to anyone that handles it. So, stay OPSEC / PERSEC mindful, do not share dates, or private messages. 

And when your sailor is out in the fleet do not use Sandboxx. 

Hi Ladies. Been a little MIA this weekend - was trying to soak up every second I could with my son. We said goodbye at the hotel last night. It was (and is) beyond hard. I'm so proud of him - but my momma heart hurts so bad.  He's been through meps and now has 3 hours before he boards his flight.  I'm praying these 10 weeks fly by (for him and for us!)  So not ready to let go even though I know it's time. Thanks for listening. I know you all get it.  

navymom57  praying for your son. He will find his path! 

WE GOT MAIL!!!

His forms have arrived.  ship 7 div 299

this means he has passed his initial PFA, right?  that is what i was worried about.

oh this mama heart so happy and instantly in tears just seeing his handwriting.  I wanna send a quick Sandbox to let him know his mail is coming!  I cant seem to find out how to fill out the address...I'm sure that I am just missing it cuz I'm a hot excited mess right now.  But they did have his information correct.

JNMnavymomOH  so excited for you!!!! 

I was so excited this morning to see that my son's form letter was coming in the mail today! (USPS informed delivery is the best! I mailed off 5 envelopes to him on my way to work this morning.

I had my son open it on FaceTime with me while I was at work. I was absolutely heartbroken to see that he had written on the inside of the flap "If you get this sooner than expected, I maybe coming home for good. There will be explanations. But I'm struggling" On the outside on the back he wrote "Make sure Grace comes, I really want her there" (the GF) so I was not expecting the inside note. 

I contacted his recruiter and he said that if it was something bad then I would have received a phone call by now. 

I have the best co-workers, they were telling me it's probably just homesickness and he's struggling with being away from everyone he loves and not having us to contact. He's 18 (19 next month) and has always checked in with me...because he wanted to, even when he was away with his GF for the weekend after the prom. 

I'm ok. I know there's nothing I can do but wait. I sent a long Sandboxx letter tonight giving him lots of love and encouragement. 

His is Ship 03, DIV 939. PIR is September 16. I'm so excitd he's in a 900 division. I can't to hear what he is doing. 

There are only 3 people allowed at his PIR. I put me, his brother, and his dad. It's been a rocky last 5 years with his dad, but I'm hoping my SR doesn't cross him off the list. 

I still want his GF to come and we can get her after graduation and we will at least have the day with him (He will to go San Antonio for A school). That will be ok, right? I read that she can watch the PIR from the national museum of the American Sailor. We can get her after and have the day (I will be renting a car).

I have a lot to say in this post. So many emotions. thanks for any words of encouragement xo

nursekim, keep your chin up. I don't  know how long after the get there that they fill out the form letter but those first few weeks are so discouraging for them. According to their commander's there isn't anything they can do right and they are constantly being torn down no matter how hard they try.  I can't imagine their state of mind at the time.  Things will get much better, remember they do things as a division- one does something wrong they all are punished for it. You are responsible if your bunkmate didn't make his bed right. They are trying to get them to work as a well oiled team. Good job writing him right away to help encourage him, the next time you hear from him things will be much better. Good thing they don't let their moms there, can you imagine a couple hundred angry mama bears glaring down those commanders ready to tear them to shreds. 

NurseKim:  the first letter is always rough. I think the first two I received were that way. After that, they have made friends and they get into the routine. Keep the letters going. I sent one every day. Just because I had a bunch saved up to send. He said the recruits will reread their letters at night in their racks to feel connected to home. And the recruiter is right, if there was something serious/big going on, you would receive a phone call.  Any changes in training timetables will come with a phone call from your SR. BNMHs. 

Tammybikerunfaithlove - BNMHs and prayers for you!!

navymom57 - thinking about you and your son - Hopefully you will hear more soon. 

JNMnavymomOH - Woo Hoo!! Yes, the form letter is not sent out until they pass their initial fitness test. 

Nursekim - BNMHs as well. I do not know if they have the live PIR viewing still where you mentioned. Some things they shut down during Covid and never reopened. That said, some of the motels will provide a viewing or you might be able to use the internet and watch the live stream on a laptop. 

Be sure to join your PIR group.  Here are the links:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2022

PIR AUGUST 2022

PIR JULY 2022

Nursekim, I know that the Springhill Suites still does the viewing live, be sure to ask when you make your motel reservations! Many have shuttles that will take you to the ceremony also.

Nurskim,  BNMHs to you! Praying your next letters have a different tone. I agree with the others - no news/no call is good news.  

I got my "I'm here" call last night. I knew it would be short. Despite the chaos and screaming in the background, he actually sounded upbeat. I know the days and weeks ahead will be hard, but it made me feel good that he is starting off strong. 

Northwoodsmom your comment made me chuckle "angry bear mamas" - oh my goodness. While I know all of this will be good for my boy and help shape him into a man, that mama bear part of me soooo wants to go up there and scream at the commanders! ;)  We could probably make THEM cry! LOL 

Have a blessed day all! Hopefully today I'll actually be able to focus and be productive - yesterday was a joke - far too consumed with thinking about my boy and tracking his journey from Portland ME to GL. 

you bet we could make them cry lol...  big hugs to all of you on this BC part of the journey.. you got this and we'll help