Help

[kparker91]

I have to have my full decision made by monday at 9 am so they can start paper work. Well im 20 years old so i know that this is my decision but i havent told my parents yet and im not sure how to. What would be the best way to tell them?

[abbyblue]

Tell them don't wait for the last hour take someone with you to the recruiters. Have your mom and dad join this web site! ask questions !many here be happy to talk to them. research everything before you sign those 30 pages of paperwork.

[ebigirl]

I agree with AbbyBlue 200%!! My son joined at the age of 19 without his dad or me knowing. He had already signed on the dotted line before he told us, and in the end discovered he was lied to by his recruiter(s). This has affected his "career" with the Navy big time. The recruiter told him to sign on as a Reserve in order to get into and out of bootcamp faster. He was told he could "switch" from The Reserves to Full Time Active Duty when he finished with bootcamp. This has not been true for many years.

Now he has a 6 year contract, with a little less that 5 years to go with the Reserves. This is NOT what he had envisioned. There have been other situations pop up that in my opinion are just wrong, but of course that's just my opinion.

Your parent's will be able to help you decide what rate (job) you want to sign on for, if you haven't already. My son had already done all of that, so he had to go with his decision. This is not a bad thing, but nobody knows you better than your parent's.

Are you afraid they are going to be upset? It's ok if they are, this IS your decision. The advice and help they can give you will be worth their weight in gold. Think about this...how would you feel if one of your parent's received an awesome job opportunity, sold their house and moved without letting you know? This is pretty much what you would be doing to them. You NEED to at least let them know where you will be for the next 8 weeks. Don't just disappear and leave them worried sick. Tell them TODAY!!!!!

[LeAnn ⚖]

Please do speak with your parents regarding your desire to enlist.  Inasmuch as you are an adult, this discussion would not be one premised upon seeking their permission.  Rather, soliciting advice on this career path.  If your parents can attend a meeting with your recruiter, it would be helpful for them to learn about the Navy and to query the recruiter about the enlistment, covering aspects that you may not have addressed.

As the other respondents noted, unfortunately, the recruiter(s) may be less than frank about the rate (Navy job) you seek or the means to attain that rate.  You should thoroughly research the duties of the rates you desire and the obligation to the Navy under your contract.  Be sure that the contract you sign has the desired rate and spells out your tenure of service.  Enlistment is a commitment on your part and one that does not abate if you later conclude that service in the Navy is not for you.  Therefore, do not act in haste and weigh the information and advice presented by the recruiter and your parents.

[TexasMom]

Your parents will be your biggest supporters and even though you are nervous, tell them soon.  They love you and want what's best.  I joined the military years ago and telling my parents was hard, but I leaned on them all during basic training.

Good Luck!

[Anti M]

Yeah, don't do what I did and send them a letter from boot camp.  Mine were working overseas, but still, they were shocked.

[sailorwifenmom]

Speaking as someone who joined the Navy and has also had a child join the Navy - TELL THEM! 

Yes, it's your choice, and ultimately, YOU need to be the one to decide, but the thing is, they love you, and they are going to have questions - whether they support the choice or not, they're going to have them, trust me on this :-)

I would suggest jotting down a few notes for yourself - the reasons you want to do this, stuff like that (the notes are so you don't get nervous or they get upset and you forget what you wanted to tell them), then ask your parents if you can talk to them about something important, and ask them to hear you out before they say anything in response.  Explain that you have been thinking about this for awhile, and that you've been looking into it, and you've decided to join the Navy.  Explain what your reasons are, offer to answer their questions, and offer to go with them to meet with your recruiter, so they can ask questions, too.  (And as has been suggested, tell them about this site!  :-)  ) 

This is your choice, but if you don't at least tell them and give them a chance to know what's going on and be a part of your life, then it's going to hurt them and cause problems.  If they aren't supportive of the choice, then not telling them is going to make it worse (because they're probably going to feel like you did it to defy them or didn't tell them because deep down you were ashamed to tell them), and if they support the choice, then they're going to probably be hurt because you didn't include them sooner.

lol - in case you missed the message here - TELL THEM ;-)