may god grant our soon to be sailors the strength to get through these last 2 weeks,!

[emlovee]

I look back now on how he left dec 12th,

i was so scared, i am 18 years old and i was nearly 5 months pregnant.

i wrote down my address and gave him a hug and a kiss, he wouldnt let go, and i didnt want him to, we shared some last words then said our goodbyes, he went to walk out the door of our home and turned around to take one last look at me, thats when i couldnt act tough anymore i walked over to him and gave him one last hug and told him he could do this, after he let go he closed the door behind him, that was the day my life changed forever.

 

the first week was hell, i was alone in the house we filled with memories, everywhere i looked gave me a reason to cry, i had to adjust to my phone lying on his side of the bed, and at night when i would lay down and the baby would move around i would be upset because everynight he made sure to have his hand right their on my belly so he wouldnt miss a kick.

i couldnt help but be scared, terrified, i didnt know if this would change us for better or for worse, i didnt know what was going to be at the end of this road!

 

the second week to about the 4th week where better, i got through everyday knowing that i was the one who chose to make my day a good or bad one.

but these last few weeks are getting bad again, 2 nights ago i got a phonecall and he was upset, he had called his family before he called me, and his grandma told him she is in bad health and may pass away before he gets back from aschool, his brother upset him because he misses him so much, and his dad ignored all his calls and he thought it was because he is mad at him.

i tried to hide my tears as he cried telling me all his worries and everything that discourages him but then he caught on that i was upset, i try so hard to be his rock through this! i write him everyday no matter if its just encouraging lyrics,an update on the news, or a list of things that prove he is amazing and can do this. then his family comes and are all heartless and get in his head and upset him. i later foundout that his grandma really isnt in any worse health then she usually is except that the cold has slowed her down, that really got to me, because i am obviously not going to write him calling his grandmother a lier, but at the same time here i am worrying how that bad phonecall is effecting him.

 

yesterday i had an ultrasound to findout the gender of our baby, i prepared myself for it and i went in their in good spirits, when i took my camera out to record the bitchy tech told me she doesnt allow that, and i asked her if she could make an exception because i did it with the last tech and because i would really love to show it to my fiance at his navy graduation, she told me not to argue with her, she dimmed the lights, and started the ultrasound, i layed their with tears rolling down my face as i watched that screen knowing he would never get to see that ultrasound, she told me it was a boy and all i could think was how he wanted a boy so bad, i walked out of that hospital with 3 crappy pictures and my whole drive home i thought about how he really might miss the birth of this child.

 

the stress of his family is more then just the phonecall, they have been trying to make him choose them or me for the whole almost 3 years we have been together, so for them to hurt him while in bootcamp kind of set me over the edge, i cant wait for this to be over, i cant wait to see him, and to talk to him in person about how his family has effected him, i have no doubt in my mind that he will pass everything and graduate, it just hurts to know he is laying in bed at night thinking he made the wrong decision because he has hurt his family when really their main goal is to get his money and his sympothy.

 

these last 2 weeks couldnt go fast enough!!

[Anti M]

Congrats on your baby boy.  Many, many hugs for you.  You're doing great and will see him soon.

[NavELaDEE]

I am sooooo sorry to hear that you furture sailor is having all of this drama going on while in bootcamp. It is so sad that his family is making him feel bad about his choice of going into the Navy. Just stay strong for you, him and most importantly the baby. As long as he knows he has a good woman like you in his corner her wil be fine :D you all are in my prayers. -Dee

[emlovee]

thank you both(: