my son told me 2 days ago he wants to join the Navy. Help

[pamelasue]

my son told me 2 days ago at the dinner table he wants to join y\the navy.This came out of left field i had no iidea that he was thinking this. I have been crying non stop for these same 2 days any help and advice would be greatly appreciated

[EJ's Mom]

This is a bit wordy but please bear with me.  I have 3 children in the Navy and/or Navy bound.  My eldest son is 18, & graduated HS in 2010 with 2 yrs training in Welding.  He mentioned "the Navy" 2 years prior to grad and never looked back. He'd be serving his country, didn't I think that would be cool?  Of course it would be, it is honorable, but as a mother I was scared to death.  I didn't overreact, thinking that if it were a phase, it would pass.  (I was sick to my stomach and my heart felt like it was in my throat every time it was mentioned).  My husband researched and networked with anyone and everyone he could speak to, Navy men both enlisted and retired.  He did all he could to make sure that our son (and we) knew exactly what he was getting into regarding this commitment, his options, the opportunities.  He graduated navy boot camp on 3/11/11, or in Navy lingo "PIR 3/11/11" (Pass in Review is what Navy calls graduation).  It was one of the proudest most overwhelmingly emotional moments of my life.  Boot camp was rough but as he said, "I love it but I hate it". There exists a camaraderie in the Navy family as a whole that is ever present.  The transformation from the boy I handed over (as a recruit), to  the young man, the Sailor, they handed back at Great Lakes was more than I could bear.  He is a "Seabee" (the worker bee's of the Navy) in the Construction Battalion. After grad. Sailors are shipped out to "A" school (Apprentice school).  His is in Gulfport MS at the Naval Construction Training Ctr. in Gulfport MS. He is happier than a pig in mud, content, and has no regrets no matter how hard he works every day.  After all, isn't that what we ultimately want for our children?  In these hard economic times that our kids are faced with, this life choice makes absolute sense from many angles.

My goddaughter (more of a daughter for many years), is 21, and has bounced around for 3 yrs post HS grad.  She's since been in and out of college, lived with us, moved out of state then back in, here, there and everywhere, becoming increasingly less motivated, less content with her career choices/path.  My son opened her eyes to an alternative, a career in the Navy.  He helped her to isolate and focus on her goals.  She ships out on 7/12/11.  She's always had a bubbly personality, is sociable and happy by nature.  There is an excitement that she projects now that is much different, a brighter smile on her face, a spring in her step that is new, and she's still only a Depper!

Lastly, my youngest son is 17 and graduates HS in June. He's always been more college minded, has made it a point to obtain an advanced HS diploma which started in Freshman yr, and participated in sports. He was accepted to 3 colleges, one of which offered him a spot on the football team. It was his dream come true, (he may not be headed to the NFL but he could at least continue to participate in one of the sports that he loves so much). It was a win-win.  We then attended his brothers PIR 3/11/11 in Great Lakes.  The time we spent with him afterward, and the subsequent interactions and conversations between them had a significant impact on him.  By the time we left Great Lakes he stated for the 1st time in his life that he wasn't sure about his decision to go to college.  We researched, went back to the recruiter several times, and gave him what was needed to make an informed choice.  He enlisted about 2 weeks ago and is eagerly looking forward to pursuing a naval career. He is happy, less stressed and has a different perspective about what the future may hold for him.  We couldn't be happier for him. 

To every choice there's consequence.  There seem to be endless opportunities these days for kids to end up with the wrong crowd, or head down the wrong path these days.   I have friends with kids that have Master's degrees and PhD's, that still can't secure a job with decent salary, health and retirement benefits, savings plans, etc.  Some are working but either can't leave home or have returned home because they can't make it on their own, in spite of their advanced degrees.

It's hard to let them go, to let them make their own mistakes, choices & decisions.  As difficult as this is for us parents, it's a part of life and growing into an adult.  I learned something about myself.  Considering the alternative, I would rather have my children start their young lives in a motivational, constructive environment, surrounded and supported by the biggest family they'll ever have, their Navy family. A family that we as parents and siblings are all a part of too.

I hope this helps.  Good luck, and God Bless

 

 

[tamberlynn_rose]

my mom was scared too when i told her i was joining.

in the end, if its what he wants to do, hes gonna do it. jus support him and show him that u r gonna help him thru it no matter what. i wish my mom would have done that. the only people supporting me is my dad and my man.

hey, it could b worse, he could join the marines or the army and actually b put in REAL danger every single day. to b honest, us navy folks have got it easy. so jus b thankful enough for that. :]

[AE Mom PJC]

Pamelasue, I think every mother here can relate to how hard it is to realize our little boys have grown into men.  For my son, the Navy was always an option.  Both grandfathers had been in the Navy and of course, had nothing but good things to say as they were growing up.  About a year after high school graduation, my son came to me and told me he had signed up for deferred enlistment and would be leaving for boot camp in about 6 months.  It was a surprise, of sorts.  During the first years I watched my baby boy grow into a man that makes me so proud I want to cry.  The Navy gives our children opportunity to grow physically and emotionally. A chance to see things and places I could never have given him.  He'll have adventure, education, and friends for life, time to reflect on what is truly important in life and the self confidence to achieve every goal.  What more could you ask for your child?  I'm proud to be able to say my son is a sailor.

[Aussiesmom]

When I read your post, I thought to myself that those could have been my words.  I had a very similar situation with my son.  I cried a lot at first.  I also blamed my husband because he is a former sailor himself. 

But over the course of the past few months while he was in DEP (Delalyed Entry Program), he grew up so much.  I began seeing huge changes in his maturity level and finally there was something that excited him career wise.  He is at Boot Camp now and I really miss him, but I am proud of him and I know that he has trained for this and is excited about it.  That certainly helps!  I don't know if I could have left him last week if he wasn't so excited about it! 

I wish both you and your son well as you explore the possibilites together.  Good luck!

[ckwinn]

I know it is a blow..... my son is almost done with boot camp support support as much as you can it is a great experience for them they make wonderful friends.good luck and take care

[proudmama ship10 div267]

my son just left for bootcamp last week and i couldn't be more proud of him.And with the economy right now even if these kids go to college there is no gaurentee of a job.The way I see it is the navy is a package deal training,pay,benefits and job security.He's a smart kid if you ask me!And you won't stop crying completely but it will get better!Hang in there!