Started our countdown - 46 days

[GennyMac]

We counted down the days till he moved in with us.

We counted down the days till his first date.

We counted down the days till prom.

We counted down the days till his graduation. 

We counted down the days till our most recent temporary move to GA (his Dad's job sends us all over the US).

Now we've started our countdown till he ships out 10/1. 

Some days are easier than others.  He's working out and swimming twice a day, running every evening with his Dad.  He finished the book "Damn Few" and gave it to me to read.  Page one and I'm on hold for a bit.  He is so ready to leave, so ready for this new chapter to start for him, so ready.  I remember feeling that way too after high school and then college graduation.

For me, every load of laundry, sandwich, dinner, text or quiet conversation becomes more and more precious as I watch the time slip away.  It isn't his leaving that will be hard.  He's supposed to do that, start his own life, be his own man.  It is the change that I will see in his eyes afterward.  The sweet and innocent wide eyed look will be replaced, gone.  And it will happen away from me, where I can't lay my hand on his arm and give him that encouraging smile he's become accustomed to seeing. He never had that before I became a part of his life.  That change happened so gradually with all the other kids, and I was there for so very much of it.  Being in the background, watching them grow into the adults they have become, has been such a treasured and wonderful experience. I think my tears will be more because I won't get to do that with him, I won't be in the background ready to nod encouragement.  Maybe the tears will be more for me than him.  That's a thought I'll need to mull over for awhile.

Last weekend he went back to see his "buds" from High School for the last time.  We had 2 ship out to the Army early this week, 2 more yesterday.  He's getting texts from them when they leave, some from the bus or airport as they are being transported, after they go back through MEPs, then usually a phone call before they head to their destinations.  Got two texts in the wee hours from his best friend just as he got to his boot camp.  He's hearing their experiences as they leave, then silence.  He's spending less and less time on his cell texting - the ones not shipping out have headed out to college, the last 2 left today.  He hasn't said much about the gathering silence or missing them yet.  I expect he will after this weekend.

Our weekends usually consist of the three of us taking a road trip to see or do something in our local area.  Since we travel so much for his Dad's job, when we are in a temporary location, we take advantage of it and see the sights.  2 weeks ago we kayaked down the Chattahoochee River with our pooch ( we jokingly called that trip Shootin the Hooch with the Pooch ).  It was great fun to be together on the river, some beautiful sights, some peaceful times of just the three of us chatting, some real fun with the guys having to get me unstuck off of big rocks. 

Since our time is getting short, I've made plans for the guys, just the two of them, to do some road trips alone.  I've been so blessed to have so much time with my son alone, and his Dad has had to travel so much, (deployments and work) I want to be sure they have some really good quality time now.

Planning some hiking, camping, zip line, and fishing trips for them.  This Saturday I think I'll send them to the mountains of GA for a treasure hunt or a photo safari.  The flea markets should be open and they should find something fun to bring home.  We've done that since our son was little and we only had him on the weekends - give him a couple of bucks and send him off to find the most wonderful treasure to bring home from a flea market.  His Dad and he are so competitive over this little ritual - our son usually wins.  He's found some really neat items over the years.  An antique camera he keeps on his bookshelves is so special. It was the weekend his father proposed to me.  We've seen the same one in a couple of museums and he is always so surprised he found one like them.

I watched Act of Valor again with him.  This time I made it all the way through without having to get up and leave the room so he wouldn't see me cry.  That was a good day.  A really good day.

 

[JstAmom]

Wow! I feel like I just read my story. My son and I spend Sundays together, going out to eat, planning a beach day or just watching a movie, always discussing his future and the latest book he had me read (Breaking Bud/s, Lone Survivor, Service....) I too mourning in a way my sweet Lil boy, catching a glimpse of a grown man. I first came across this site when my son recommended to me but I was so
upset I wanted nothing to do with it, now with time and knowledge I'm giving it another try. Anyway thank you for your story.