Today was the day he left

[rocksNboys]

Yesterday we delivered my son to the recruiters. Today I drove into town to the base to see him sworn into active duty. I got teary last night and today, but didn't really cry. I thought I was doing amazingly. Then when I got home my phone had slipped under the seat, and I thought I had lost it. I fell apart. The picture of him before he got on the bus, and the message that told me "see you later momma, I love you" were on the phone. Thinking I had lost it, and I might have to get another number that he would not know was too much, and led to many tears. Now we wait for the call saying he has arrived. This has been hard. I cannot imagine what it will be like in the days ahead for us and especially for him. Thinking of all of you who are going through this before me, with me, and those who will soon start the process.

[ngstephy (Ship 11/Div 249)]

Thank you.   I feel so lost without her in my life. It is hard for me to reply without me crying.  But I do know that you do understand my feelings at this moment as you have already passed this stage where I am at this moment.  I am just struggling with the reality that she is leaving on June 18, 2912. My only hope and I pray is that I am able to control myself on the last day that I am with her.  I do know that I must control myself, but I can't help how I feel. The true is I don't want her to go. However, I do understand that this is what she wants to do. She has already completed 4yrs of college and I was hoping that she would go into her field of study to become a veterinarian. So surely you can understand my shock of her joining the Navy. Now that the decision is made and reality that she is leaving, I am just struggling with all of these emotions.   Writing and sharing my feeling with you is very therapeutic at this moment.   Please bear with me as I overcome this stage. I am very thankful that I can share how I am feeling and that you totally understand.. Thank you for your support and for helping me through this stage. Via this communication I am able to  cry and relieve some of my feelings.  God bless you and your family.  

[rocksNboys]

Been there. I didn't have anyone other than my principal who understood until I found the site. I got things like, "It's just like going to college" from friends, which would enrage me. But even then I didn't tell them all of my emotions. I stopped telling friends how I felt. I didn't want my son to go either at first, so ask her why she made her decision. You might find it was really a thoughtful reason. My stomach dropped when he told me he was going into the military, but then my son explained to me all the reasons he needed the Navy. (He needed the structure. He wants to get his college education and knows that we can't help much, and he wants to be career. He has seen his dad be laid off on multiple occasions. He wants a way to take care of his family some day.) I had lots of tears, but came to realize that it was my dream, not his, that I had wanted him to follow. I suspect you have raised a confident young lady, who has made the decision thoughtfully. I wish I could make it easier now, but can't, other than to say focus when you are with her on enjoying your time together, making happy memories to lean on. On the big day, you'll have tears of pride, and then real tears later. I didn't see anyone sobbing at MEPS when they were sworn it, but I know I sobbed later. He doesn't know though and I won't tell him. My principal told me one time she had gone to see her son, who is a Marine, and she later did not remember 4 out of 6 hours of her drive home.  Write to me as often as you like. I know I really needed someone who understood too. Bless you. You are not alone.

[ngstephy (Ship 11/Div 249)]

I agree that some of my friends do not fully understand how I feel. I feel that they do not actually listen to what I am actually saying. So at this point I keep my feelings to myself.  Writing here is helping in more ways then I can actually express in words.  When I emailed this morning it took me about an hour to get through the email  with all of the crying I did. At this moment, I am okay.  Thank you so much for your email of support.   I do understand your son's decision and taking advantage of the education.  It really is a smart decision and he will be prepared once he comes out.  However, as the parent it is hard to just let go and see them leave. When my daughter went away to college, I would call her to spend the weekend with her. Now that she is going to Navy I know that I will not be able to visit as much as I want to.  This is one of my issues and it hurts.  I am making ever effort to make the best of our last days together. Its when I am alone that I can't help how I feel.  On the big day, I really don't want to cry because I don't want to make her feel bad.  I want to be ready in the most positive way and be strong for her.  I just need to get past this feeling of loneliness. Take care.