When we discussed life options with my son back at the beginning of his Senior year, he mentioned that he had spoken with a recruiter about the Navy and wanted more information. Being the kind of parent who wanted him to make an informed decision, we made calls. We did research.
In April we took a trip out to California where we had the privilege of a tour on the base and I could see it in his eyes; this was exactly his path.
My spouse is LEO, prior Crime Scene Investigator and now hostage negotiator, so Im used to dinners and holidays without him, doing things just me and my kids--- but this is different- this means these things will happen without my baby, my heart and soul, my world, and this is beyond my current comprehension. I Realize, I have to come to terms with this.
It helps to write.
I've started writing him letters back in October, I don't want him to think for one second he is not on my mind.
I realize though, he is very concerned about my mental health- so I've been trying as hard as I can possibly, to keep the tears at bay and speak only of the positive- laughing as much as I can muster- he's smart, so I bet he knows Im forcing emotions down. I just don't want his last image of me to be a broken down mom- I want him to see the confidence I have in him, only.
Well that's it for this blog. You'll see more.
Thank you for reading.