Trying to get the hang of this

[rosewomn]

So, it was a week yesterday since my son entered RTC. I have been putting off blogging about my experience with this whole deal because I tend to forget to keep up with stuff like this. This week has changed my mind though and I have decided to write down my personal experiences and feelings.
Tommy is my last child, I had a difficult pregnancy with him and almost lost him. I was so blessed by his birth and being able to watch him grow into a kind, generous, smart young man. He was my home body, you could go as far as to say he was a Momma's boy. We have always been close and he has been my rock when his sister ( who is bi-polar) went through her phases. I could always count on Tom to make me laugh or smile.
I found this past week that I miss him more than I thought I would. It hit me so hard when his box of belongings showed up the other day. I still can't figure out what I was thinking before. I knew in my mind he was grown and gone onto his next phase of life. But it was like being punched in the stomach and slapped upside the head seeing that box. I realised that it was really happening and he had found his dream, grabbed it with both hands and jumped to make it come true.
I can't be more proud of him than I am. Yet at the same time, I really miss my little boy. I want so much for him. Everything his father &I were never able to have or give him. But I'm also a little upset he has to go so far from me to get this. I don't think I am alone in my mixed emotions, but there is no one near to ask or talk to about my feelings as no one else I know is going through this struggle. My mother was never, and still is, not very close with us kids. She was always happy to see us go. I guess I'm the exception in my family because my kids are my world expecially my Tom.
As of now I wait impatiently for word from him and write him nightly, to the enjoyment of my husband who thinks it's too much. Not that I care, I am bound and determined that Tom will know I am here for him. He will not feel alone if I have anything to say about it. If he thinks it is too much then I will scale back, but not unless I know he wants that. I will support my Navy man any means possible.

[rosewomn]

Thank you for the suggestion I find I actually want to join and get more involved which is so unlike me. I never really was into online groups, but with Tom gone I guess I am desperate for anything to help me get through this time.