Husband leaving next month/Roller-coaster of Emotions

[navy4khays]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to ask/if anyone can relate ?

My husband leaves for boot camp next month (03/29/17). And I feel like I am on a roller coaster of emotions. In January (and pretty much ever since he swore in on 10/24/16), I have cried tears of joy, sadness, all the sorts. But now that he's leaving next month, I feel like I have no emotions sometimes. And I wonder why the "knot" or "butterflies" have seemed to subside, with him leaving next month ?

I know I love my husband so very much. And my heart is torn at the thought of him not being here with us while he's away at boot camp. I just don't know why I feel like I don't "feel as much sadness" as I should right now ? Has anyone ever had similar feelings/lack of feelings ? Sorry if I don't make any sense.

[Sophia]

That's because there's nothing specifically to feel sadness about! He is doing an amazing, selfless thing! And the time apart will just make the love grow stronger!

[Myboysmom]

I agree with Sophia your emotions will change from time to time and you will miss him dearly but your belief and pride in what he is doing will keep you strong.

[navy4khays]

Exactly :)))

[navy4khays]

I believe so ! It's just going to be a bit of adjusting to him not being around. And of course, missing him :( But I know that our love will be made strong & "distance makes the heart grow fonder" :)))

[Michael]

You will be fine boot camp is nothing. Not to sound small. I was a hot mess as our 3 year old missed him like heck. But now that he's deployed boot camp was nothing 8 weeks a small price to pay for what we have now. And now he's gone 9 months. You have to be strong spouses are the backbone of the marriage and it's what keeps them safe and to come home safe. Love him everyday.

[navy4khays]

Thanks, Michael! "Love him everyday" --- I really like that :)))

[Allison]

I think it's just part of a natural response where you want to be strong for your husband. Without realizing it, at a some point I had stopped feeling sad my husband (then finance) was going to leave. I would tell him I would miss him, but I wasn't showing it much, and I think it's because I knew that he needed to see I was going to be okay, so he could focus on becoming a sailor. I was fine until the moment his recruiter stood up and asked him if he was ready, double checking he had all his documents and stuff like that. I still didn't show it. I watched him say goodbye to his "foster parents" and "foster brother" (I use the terms loosely because he was too old for the system, these people just took him in while he waited on the military), and then, they let us have a moment outside. It was rushed because I knew I was about to lose it, but I got through the goodbye and I love you, and when his recruiter finally asked him to go, I ran back to the car and cried the whole ride home. It got better after the first week. I never stopped missing him, but I was more proud, and I knew I still needed to be strong for him. It's going to be a roller coaster, but just remember that even those periods where you don't feel sad or maybe you even feel some relief or anger, those are all normal, and you don't need to feel bad :).

[navy4khays]

Thank you so much, Allison ! I really appreciate your encouragement. This coming April, will make 11 years of hubby and I being together. And in May, we will celebrate our 8th year wedding anniversary :) Though it seems like it was just yesterday, it has been quite awhile! Lol. It's interesting how you mention that it's "part of a natural response where I want to be strong for my husband" :))) I really think so! It's so amazing how our human body is wired, and knows how to adjust to different situations in life. Reading your experience of when it was time for him to leave --- I could just feel it ! Just thinking about the moment when I leave the airport without him makes me really sad, but like you mentioned, along with the other wives, I know this is for our future. And it's only going to get better :) I know I won't stop missing him, that's for sure. Thanks for the encouragement that I don't need to feel bad. I am actually a normal human being! Lol.

[CrissySue]

Navy4khayes yes inhd the same thing happen. I was emotional at first then it subsided. It didn't return until he was gone. Then the first week I was a wreck. I think we just try to remain strong for them and sort of turn it off.

[navy4khays]

Thanks, CrissySue ! I have heard that the 1st week or so is usually the hardest time :((( And our hearts and our minds probably know that we have to be strong for them, ourselves, and our family :))) I like how you ended with "sort of turn it off" --- I pray so ! :)))

[navy4khays]

Congratulations, to your hubby on graduating from basic training, Kathryn Allayna! How beautiful that must have been! :) 
I am happy to know that I am not alone in this 'roller coaster of emotions'! I am going through exactly what you went through! Since he swore in on 10/24/16, up until about January, I would cry every now and then, at just the thought of him being gone for basic and A-school. Now that we're almost at the end of February, I have not shed a tear! And he leaves at the end of March! But like you experienced, I believe I will lose it once we head to the airport. 
You mentioned at one point, just sitting on the couch and crying, living in that moment together .... Exactly what hubby and our family needs to do : "live in the moment" and enjoy what we can, because March will be here before we know it! 
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. I am so thankful for you reaching out :)