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NEWBIE starting to panic
Hello All, my boyfriend of almost 3 years will be leaving for RTC in may. I'm worried because we have been talking getting married but later like in two years. However, reading all this info I am wondering if there is a "right time" or better time so that I can be involved. Any and all advice welcome!!
Views: 163
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by SeaShell⚓ on
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His orders to move only come after all his training right? because he will be in training after A school for at least another 11 months. I'm sure we will think about moving up our timeline but maybe in between his schooling... that wouldnt effect his training right? like he wouldn't have to redo everything just because we got married? only asking bc I read some other girlfriend was told that that was going to happen to her sailor.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Before going to boot camp, marriage can change his ship date if you are pregnant. Possibly the GF you spoke to had someone joining another branch of service. It really does change things for a Marine or soldier. Sailors, no, not so much.
He does not have to "redo" any training just because he got married. The A school schedule does not change at all. What changes is the type of orders he receives. Toward the end of his schooling, he will get orders to his first duty station. NOT after! Roughly four weeks or more before he graduates, if you are not recorded as his dependent, you won't be on the orders. It is tough and rare to get an order modification.
As a single sailor, he would receive unaccompanied orders, and a dependent move would not be authorized. That means you'd pay to move yourself if you married after A school when he is home on leave. A sailor married before the end of training would receive accompanied orders, if he were going where dependents are allowed (there are a few exceptions such as Diego Garcia).Do not rush into marriage because you are worried about being left behind. It is alright to move it up, but you must both be ready.
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Permalink Reply by tatortot1107 on
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Hey :)
My fiancé left for BC in november and we have been engaged since June 2016. We had planned to wait for him to be out of A school and done with college in about two years. But after seeing him after graduation in January and after hearing that he may be getting orders to Japan, we wanted to make sure before he gets any form of orders that we are married and I was listed as a dependent. So we decided we are doing a courthouse wedding in Chicago this summer and then planning a big wedding when he comes home for the holidays. So we sped things up very quickly, due to making sure I could be listed as a dependent and hopefully accompany him to his duty station. From the advice that I have gathered, and depending on what your sailors rate will be, doing it between ATT and A school has been the most common time to get married I've heard. Although, if I could do it over again, I would have planned a small wedding before he even left for BC and not have had all this stress of figuring out the best time and worrying about if the military will change our plans. haha.
But, the only ones that really know what is right is the two of you. Do what works for the two of you and how you guys want to do it. It is your day, and that is all that matters! Good luck :)
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My fiancé and I have been engaged since September 2016. We have not been able to set a date yet but we were planning sometime in November-December so that gives him enough time to get out of BC & A school because we are considering just getting married when he gets to come home for 5 days after A school. We want to do it secretly *sigh* this transition is all so overwhelming.
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Hello!
I am in the same boat. My fiance is in boot camp right now and we were planning on getting married after A school but we have both decided that we would hate for him to go to his duty station without me being in his orders. We have been together for 5 years and so we both are definitely ready and excited to go to the next step. You mentioned you decided to get married while he is in A school? That is our current plan as well. Would you have more information on a timeframe while hes in Aschool? After everything I have read it mentioned that Phase III liberty timeframe would be best. But I did also read that it would be based upon getting permission from his chief?
Any information you can offer would be so appreciated and congratulations to you and your Sailor!
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A lot depends on the individual A school, and its length. Roughly, this is how it goes: Once they are at A school, they submit a special request chit letting their chain of command know they intend to marry. Usually this is in phase two, which is after two weeks. They can put it in at any time, but most wait for phase two to begin the process. It can take a couple weeks to get signed, and they have to stay on top of it. The chit cannot be denied for a legal marriage between two adults, and if both are American citizens, it will not affect any security clearances.
The chit is mostly for information purposes,to screen for fraudulent marriages, and most school commands will require the sailor to take a short class or counseling session. This is not a bad thing, as new sailors need to learn about benefits and responsibilities properly. Just don't expect to put in a chit one week and marry the next. Chits do get lost, especially if someone in the chain is on leave or resistant to new sailors marrying. Some are, so expect your sailor to hear all the horror stories.
Many wait for phase three to actually go get married, as that is when they can have a weekend with overnight liberty. Phase two means no wedding night.
Google the county where the school is located to find out the hours, fees, and required paperwork for the marriage license and ceremony. For example, Lake County in Illinois takes two days to marry. Escambia in Florida is same day, if you are not from Florida. Every state/county will be a bit different. No, they do not get to go home to marry in most cases, unless it is during the Christmas stand down.
Yes, they can marry without the chit during A school, but they can catch some shit for not following procedure. They do not need a chit in the fleet, or on leave.
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