Two Faced Mother

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

Dear son leaves tomorrow for BC at Great Lakes.  He's 26 and has been out of the house for a few years so I thought I'd get to skate by on all the separation anxiety.  But no.  It's amazing how you don't feel the need to talk with your adult kids every single day, but when you can't, you feel like they're 13 again.  Threw him a going away party last evening, it was great.  He gave things away (like his favorite leather bomber jacket) to his nephew and niece as if he were going off to die.  THAT is a little unnerving.  But he's dealing with his apprehension and stress in his own way, I suppose. I will continue the "you're going on a great life adventure" facade to him and come here to fall apart, if that's alright with all of you. Thanks for having me. I promise not to be a pest.

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

Thanks for the reply, Cristy!  I feel that going in at an older age has it's own set of challenges.  But I can't tell if it's going to be good or bad for him.  hahah I just have to keep busy, pray, and hope for the best.  They'll be done before summer!

[Nvy mom Toy]

I'm in the same boat as you, my son is also 26 and he's been out of the house for a while. He doesn't leave for BC until May so he thinks life is still pretty normal. But me....I'm trying to schedule in as much time together as I can cause I know the day is coming when I won't be able to call him up and ask him to meet me for lunch or spend the afternoon on a lazy drive. My friends and family don't get it, they think I should be used to him being out of the house, or they keep comparing to "when my son went to college" uugh....not the same. My son has also said he's just going to give all his stuff away, with the exception of his camera equipment and surfboards. You go ahead and fall apart if you want...just know that you are not alone.

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

Ha! My son gave away all his stuff in dramatic fashion like he was a dead man walking.  Won't he be surprised after BC when he can have some of it?  My son left today.  The good news is that he was the same exact way and I wanted to spend time with him.  As we got closer, within two weeks, he started blowing up my phone and wanting to hang out.  There's time, Momma.  He'll get nervous and wanna talk.  I went to the final swearing in and was great right up until they played Proud to be an American as they exited the building while everyone clapped... then... ugly cry.  hahahah  He's currently still texting but he should be sleeping on the bus.  I've done everything I can possibly do for him.  Time for him to take it all over. Fingers crossed.  Thanks for the kind words.

[laxmom]

Same boat, no pun intended, as you all. My son is 25 and left for camp on march 21st. I'm experiencing some of the same feelings I did when he went away to college difference being this time there is no contact. Good to know we have a each other during this time.

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

This morning he swore like a sailor (pun intended!).  Haven't hit radio silence yet, but it's coming!  Way different than college.  Thanks for the group hug. ;)

[Seabee Mom AK]

Feeling the same way, my son is 25 and just arrived BC last week. Thought I would be ok... yeah...no. I had a meltdown after he called saying he arrived. I think it was worse than the collage drop off...for me anyway.

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

Yep, worse than college drop off.  There are so many hurdles to even get in, I just keep waiting for the shoe to drop (ie... they don't like his teeth, he's a fraction of an inch too big, he has a secret disease, his blood is green, and any other thing I can think up in my head!).  In the mean time, I am going to quit watching his final swearing in video and do what I know... work, shower, clean the house, sleep, and write to him.  I have got to get control of the emotional outbursts because while it's all a huge deal to me, it's just a "meh" to everyone else.  It's two months of them actually doing what we trained them to do... be nice, be respectful, shut up, and remember where they came from.  If they kick him out, it won't be because he did or didn't do something.  Thanks for stopping by!  Hang in there!

[ProudRN]

Yes, my little 24 y/o son, man and best friend left less than 1 hour ago! He's accomplished so much in life already so I believe he will succeed but I am breaking down in tears every 15-20 mins and can't seem to pull it together! God... I just want to hear he's happy and has no regrets...

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

I am just going to consider this job training and try not to think of "what he's doing right now". That's the part that makes me crazy.  If they regret it, so be it.  They will at least know what they don't want to do forever.  I don't think that's how this is going to go though.  And honestly, I didn't ugly cry until they played "Proud to be an American" on the loud speaker and everyone clapped as they paraded through the parents to leave on the busses.  The music gets me right there every time!  We can do anything for two months... and so can they.  As for them being happy... yeah, I don't think that adjective is on the bootcamp word list. hahahah Thanks for popping in!

[MomL]

My son's 20th birthday was today. I have never missed talking to him before on his birthday! Just so y'all know, that first letter may be rough! My son poured his heart out, since he had a really bad day. His letter was 4 pages, and I doubt he has ever written more than a paragraph before! The call last Sat was much better! This is a process. I keep telling myself that!

[Shelley (Doug's Mom)]

It was hard enough to write HIM one today!  But I managed.  Has to be terrible to miss your kid's birthday.  Thanks for the heads up on the incoming letter.  They, we, can do anything for 8 weeks.  Right?

[MomL]

Shelley, how are you doing? PIR is getting closer! Yay!