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My "Saving Grace"...
The "I'm here" call...and I wasn't prepared for the "void" I'd felt after we'd hung up. I found myself consuming myself with reading about Navy life, boot camp, watching for the mail (still am of course) and pacing waiting for another random call about...whatever. But I, at one point. decided I couldn't...correction...shouldn't do this every single day he is away. He wouldn't want it. He is bettering himself. Challenging himself. Becoming part of a phenomenal team of young men and women. He is fine!
So, I've turned back to an old faithful therapy. Walking and music. When I have "nervous energy". That's where I go. I listen to inspiration pieces and music I know he loves or has shared with me. Keeps me connected and....healthy.
I also actively look for positive things to share with him in my letters. Quotes or moments in time. I keep a running list so I don't forget as I can't put them all in one letter. Doing these little things are what has helped me get through the days and nights of missing him and helps keep stress level at bay. It also makes me feel productive and as though I am doing "something" to not only help keep some normalcy but also to help him on the greatest journey of his life.
I also have come to terms with the fact that BC is the easy part of this journey....it quite possibly is preparing me/us for the first (possible) deployment in which the "unknown" can be even greater.
It's definitely not easy but nothing worth it ever is. We raised these fine individuals to be as strong as they are....just something to keep in mind. We've got this.
Views: 230
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by jennifer on
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SaltyMom 17...you are so correct. I am doing a lot of the same things. Last night my National Guard son told me he just signed for 6 more years. This of course will mean more deployments etc. Wife is having a baby towards end of year. I know this will happen with Navy son too. But everything we are doing..is working...bc I actually felt happy for him. He loves it. Fear of the unknown can't rule us everyday. It is there...I just squash it. Love your post!
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Just to add...in December he signed for 1 more year...now extended to 6! Will be interesting to see if BC boy will love this life as much.
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Permalink Reply by Sasysweet on
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Love love love!! These words of inspiration are something I so desperately needed to hear!! I am obviously so absolutely proud of my son and his decision to join the other young men and women serving out great nation. But being my son is my only son, youngest child and first to leave the nest it has been incredibly difficult. I have been working daily on being a healthier version of myself and you are absolutely right... Worry, the all consuming type, is not what my son would want for me. He was nervous going in of the unknown but not scared. And more importantly he was EXCITED! And from his letter and phone call he is flourishing! Thank you for your wise words Saltymom! <3
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Permalink Reply by Prudence on
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I know that was all very difficult to say and you worded it all to perfection!!!! I 100% feel the same!! Thank you!! My son loves Sail by Awolnation and would play it on the piano here at home. I miss hearing him so so much. I listen to the song now and it has a whole different meaning and feel, and for some reason has come on Sirius radio weekly since he left. My fav missing my son is Angels by Chance the Rapper. Not sure why but when I knew he was boarding the plane for BC I started listening and crying my eyes out and I've done it every day since. I hear parts of the song in my sleep now when I'm not consciously thinking of him ... but obviously am thinking of him. Which song really hits home for you?
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Navymom, for me it's last time for everything by Brad paisley... I saw him in concert just a week after my son left for RTC and I balled my eyes out at the concert lol
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I'm not a fan of country but listening made me cry! Brad is too cute! It's nice you got to hear it live and think of your son <3
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Lol sorry It just made me think of all those little moments spent with him as he grew up.
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Permalink Reply by SaltyMom17 on
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Thank you ALL for the positive replies. When I wrote those words, it was my hope to help at least one person feel better about their situation and to let them know they are not alone with their feelings. Initially, before finding this site...I sure felt like I was! Don't get me wrong, I have moments....plenty of them BUT nowhere near as bad or often as before....as a mom, I'm sure that will NEVER end and I don't want it to.
As for my "go to" song: one is one he shared with me a long while back. No words to it but the music is absolutely inspiring! Makes me feel "strong" if you will. It is "Shadows" by Lindsey Stirling and there's one I came across 2 days before he left that reduced me to a bawling, hot mess of tears and snot LOL...but now I listen to it almost daily (true story) and it makes my heart smile. Serious tissue warning mommas...it's called "This is not Goodbye" by Sidewalk Prophets. -
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Love Lindsey Stirling! I'd not heard the one by Sidewalk Prophets. Tissue warning is right!!! Loved it!! Thank you for sharing!! It's so funny how I have no clue what part of the state you're in or anything about you yet reading your post was like putting into words so perfectly what I feel and have been unable to put into words. "The Void"! It was so shocking and overwhelming!! Like Sasysweet said, remembering moments; in those first 2 days after he left, his entire life came back to me.. I did not expect that. Thanks again for sharing <3
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Permalink Reply by Marchella on
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Thank you for sharing this - I have read it twice as I prepare to send my son off on Wednesday- I know he is strong and ready it's me that isn't quite ready! Thank you again putting some light on things and giving a different perspective.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa-the-Grateful on
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SaltyMom17... You are right on target! Yes! Thanks you sharing. They've got this, and God has got them. It's a time for bettering ourselves, too.
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