Hello!

[rachmo4]

Hi all, My boyfriend just left for boot camp yesterday and I feel very lost. We have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months now but we have been best friends for 3 years. I am so proud of him but I am so hurt by not being able to talk with him. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I just want to know anything that can help me get through this. I have not gotten his address yet but I have started writing letters already. Is writing every day too much?

[Powerhouse1216]

It is totally ok to feel this way and I'm sure he's missing you like hell too. It's hard when your best friend is gone and you can't talk to them like you're used to. It will get easier once you start getting letters from him, and no, writing every day is NOT too much. I was writing to my fiancé every day and sending out every other day and when I got his letters he told me to write EVERY DAY and to SEND out every day as well. He loved getting letters from me and I loved getting letters from him too. Know though that he'll get your letters sooner than you'll get his. My fiancé had mail call every day yet couldn't send out his letters until Sundays, and those letters that he sent out on Sundays I sometimes would get on Thursdays but more often I didn't get them until the following Monday, but they're the best thing to have to look forward too.You'll get through this, sometimes the days are long and sometimes the weeks feel long but then you look back at the time that's gone by and say Wow! It's already been 1 week or 2 weeks or 3 weeks and before you know it you'll say wow it's already been 8 weeks!

[CaNavyFiance]

Yes, write everyday! I wrote 2 letters a day sometimes. I tried to send one out everyday so that there wasn't a day he didn't get one. I had so many emotions. Trust me, it's all normal! I was going crazy because I wasn't hearing from my fiance. I didn't get a letter until the 3rd friday and I received a phone call the next day. It was hard for both us emotional to be away from each other. You'll get through it! Good luck! Joining groups like this and Facebook groups really helped.

[rachmo4]

When did you receive his address?

[X'sNukeGF]

You can expect the address within about two weeks of his first day. The first five days, he will be unable to write because he is going through processing. Letters are only sent on Monday's. I received my letters on Thursday's, but I am also very close to Illinois so it depends on where you live. 

Also, he can only send the address to one person. My boyfriend sent the address to his parents and they shared it with me. 

[CaNavyFiance]

He left 12/4 and I was able to get it from his recruiter (who is awesome) on 12/13. I got "THE letter" the Saturday after. He was actually the first one to get mail which he loved.

[katiegirl123]

I'm in the same situation! Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months now, and doing long distance. He left for boot camp about a week ago and it feels so weird not talking to him because we literally facetimed almost every night. I'm just hoping letters come soon 

[rachmo4]

I feel you on that, my boyfriend and I, for about the past month had been staying on facetime all night long so it's been really weird going to sleep without him. 

[Ellek73]

Totally normal! I just want to put it out there but my boyfriend graduated boot camp a little over a year ago and I found this website to be such an amazing place of information and support I also wanted to put out there for you and anyone else who was Interested that I’m a part of a great support group for significant others of people in the military on Facebook called Anchored with Love. My advice is write letters even if you don’t have an address because you will get an address by the time I got one I had 11 letters written. He said he appreciated them so much tell him about your day I always ended mine with motivational quotes to keep him motivated while he was there! He’s currently deployed and he still had my letters from boot camp and he tells me he rereads them all the time <3 it is hard but possible! And nothing compares to seeing him at graduation I still get chills remembering that day it was 100% worth everything! Self care is important too! Take care of yourself and make sure you surround yourself with supportive people make plans for girls nights! Don’t be afraid to cry you will have hard days but be gentle with yourself on those days it’s okay to struggle we all do! And the most important thing is to remember he misses you too! They have very little free time so remember even a letter a week is a TON from him! He will get maybe a few minutes one day a week or even a few hours to write letters he’s exhausted surrounded by strangers your letters are the things he will rely on for support! He doesn’t have anything else there! But seriously I help run that Facebook group because myself and another navy wife wanted to create a space of support for milso that anyone could join at any stage of the journey to ask questions! Sending you all the support and positivity!

[mab395]

Hi rachmo4! I completely understand what you're feeling right now. My boyfriend left for bootcamp Jan of this year so the feelings are still very fresh. It was a difficult time for both of us. I ended up writing a letter everyday. After he graduated, he told me how terrible some of his days were and how homesick he would feel. Receiving my letters were sometimes the best part of his day and what kept him going. So I definitely encourage you to write as much as you want to!

Hopefully you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. There are many others who can relate to the lost feeling you described (myself included). Hang in there! It's a trying time for both you and your boyfriend, but I have confidence you two can get through it!

[rachmo4]

At the graduation are you able to see them after?

[X'sNukeGF]

yes :) After the ceremony, they will announce that the Sailors are on liberty and you can go to them from the seating area. 

[X'sNukeGF]

Hello, I understand exactly how you feel. My boyfriend left for boot camp at the end of January and is now a graduated Sailor. I don't think there is such a thing as writing to many letters. I wrote a letter every day after I received the address. More than likely, he will appreciate it. 

Please don't ever feel like your feelings are wrong. Having a loved one in the military is hard. I know from experience and I understand that it does hurt because missing someone can be painful. I also felt hurt that I couldn't see or talk to my boyfriend on a regular basis. Take things one day at a time. Once I started receiving/sending letters, I would also carry his most recent letter around with me. I found it to be helpful, I hope that this helps you too. 

Another suggestion is to research. Research, research, research! You can find information about what to expect (especially with Graduation), which I found helpful. This site has a ton of information that can help. Join the groups that are relevant to you. Here is one to get you started: http://navyformoms.ning.com/group/pirreferenceinformation

It has a lot of information about graduation (aka: PIR). If you ever need to talk to someone or have questions, feel free to contact me or any of the other wonderful members of this group. We are here to help and support each other.