Thank you for adding me

[CoutureQueen]

Hello all. I'm a first time Navy mom, my son left on the 16th, from PA. I've been devastated. I'm not alone, as I've read here. My son is a homebody. Was a college student who was the only child for 15 years before his brother was born. He's quiet, intelligent and docile. Never had any issues at all. One day, after the breakup with his HS sweetheart, he came home "I joined the Navy". I froze! He will be the 3rd generation of Navy in my family. At first I felt like I didn't do enough to get him through or let him grow, only seeing the Navy as a last resort. However, he's always been enamored by tales from my dad and grandfather, in good light, as proud men who protect our country. But he explained it was the total opposite and he apologized for not doing his part regarding family. I've been writing letters to an unknown address and so worried. He is seriously babied lol.
Thanks again!

[belovedbyHim]

Welcome Erin. 

As you will read in my reply on your other question, the form letter will come.  I can take up to 4 weeks.

This is BootCamp for us too!!! Our kids are getting in physical shape and learning to work as a team and take orders without question.  We are learning to let go of our worry, shape our hearts and prayers with out our kids in regular contact, and take comfort in what communication we get!  It is not easy!!!
When my Sailor shipped I felt like a part of me had died!! I couldn't stop crying, I felt physically ill and I had over a year to prepare!!!  I found this site helpful in dispelling the fear of the unknown! http://www.navydep.com/forums/showthread.php?t=433
Feel free to ask all the questions you need.  No question is a dumb question.  You might also want to read through all the files here and if you are on FB you may want to join the official Navy For Moms site there as well.  Lots of good info and support.

[CoutureQueen]

Thank you so much! You are wonderful! The recruiter was never really helpful or resourceful when it came to my questions so anything I can get is such a blessing.

[belovedbyHim]

Ours changed 3/4 of the way through DEP.  He was great at first but then he was transitioning and the new guy just didn't care as long as they shipped and he made quota!! My Hubby found this site for me while we were at our send off dinner and I couldn't stop crying.  It didn't help that everyone said that I was making my other 2 jealous and making them feel bad. This place saved my sanity.  At PIR I found out about the FB groups and I have been keeping my promise to pay it forward ever since.  If I can help just 1 mom to not feel so insane and lost I have done what I set out to.

[1underGod]

Hello Erin . Welcome to Navy moms. BC will be the most challenging event of his life and yours...a rollercoaster of emotions I call it. I pray you both will come out of this experience enlightened n stronger... emotionally, mentally n spiritually. Hang in there.

[Chipmunk]

Erin,

belovedbyHim, answered both of your comments very well. I agree with her and 1underGod, you are not alone, and BC tends to be an emotional roller coaster ride. Along with writing, do your best to keep yourself busy. When you do have his address you might want to share it with some of his friends or mentors, so they can encourage him as well.

[Mamabear]

Erin- when my daughter came home and announced she had joined the navy, I Was devastated. Her great grandfathers served but she didn't meet them. I thought and still think that because she was so sheltered that she felt she needed to be on her own. Boot camp part is hard but communication gets better as time goes by. I am very proud of her but still miss her terribly. What you feel is normal. Some days will be better than others. You will find a lot of support here. Keep writing, supporting and loving yiur sailor. It will be ok. Big nmh to you.❤

[CoutureQueen]

Thank you so very much! I really appreciate it! He stayed local, at home, when he went to college so I was spoiled. So was he lol. His brother is 6 and he had said he wasn't a good role model and was stuck in a hole. This will definitely be good for him and I'm so proud but I get these moments where I just cry! Like a gut wrenching cry. He is not big on cleaning his room so I've been doing laundry, putting stuff in totes, etc. It's just so hard and the worst part, as you know, the absence of communication

[CoutureQueen]

Thank you! I need it! I'm feeling awful. I haven't received his address yet and have a pile of letters so I'm kinda worried. Ugh

[DonnaCatLover]

I’m a first time Navy mom also. My son has now been in the Navy for 2 years. The Navy was never on my radar for our one and only child. He went off to college and this very smart child flunked out of his first semester due to too much gaming and the lack of ability to organize himself. We gave him 3 choices, one of which was the military and he chose the Navy. I totally thought this would be the wrong choice for him but I was the one who was wrong. He thrived under the structure that the Navy provides because he is unable at this point of his life to provide it for himself. He did really well in boot camp, in the subsequent schools and is now making his way through all his quals. While I still worry about him (what mom doesn’t!), I’m seeing that he has what it takes to move forward his own. I totally get your feelings about your son’s choice. it’s possible that this is a great choice for him; sometimes they know themselves better than we think we do!

[CoutureQueen]

That's awesome! My son was teetering with a bad breakup with his HS sweetheart as well which I think was a factor. It was definitely a shock and it's nice to hear such positivity, especially when I'm a basket case

[SailorsLIMom]

I was so touched by your note!  We had no Navy history in our family until our daughter joined a year ago.  My father and uncle served in WWII, but we're older parents and she never knew them.  Boot Camp was the absolutely hardest because you can't communicate with them and don't know what's going on.  We knew Daughter would have to have her wisdom teeth removed and that it would be a difficult surgery--did not know when.  I even wrote to some "800" number on one of the forms, but received no answer!  It all went very well and she came through BC happy and very proud of herself.  The Navy is such a wise career move, especially in today's world.  Daughter has a 4-year college degree, but, as she put it about the job she had before enlisting: "This is a job--the Navy is a career."  It does get better, erin, but not as fast as you'd like.  (BTW your screen name should not be your real name).  Fingers crossed for your and your boy!

[CoutureQueen]

I sound like you! I'm ready to send letters to the mysterious box address lol. My friend whose son has been in said not to and if somehow he does get it he could be penalized, actually his group. I would be devasted! It's all so new. My grandfather was actually in the Navy when I was born. I was 3 when he retired, career Navy. My grandfather lived 15 years passed my grandfather (g. Grandfather died when brandon was 6 grandfather, 15) so he was able to get a wonderful history lesson as well. They would be proud. It was the last career track I would have thought for my "special snowflake" as the millennials call it lol. But he wanted more, like your daughter. The Navy is the perfect path for him… me on the other hand… I'm still in the crying as I fold his laundry days. I know it'll get better. My lil guy gets weepy. I try not to cry, only say that he needs to think of being prideful that his brother is making such a sacrifice when he feels sad (should take my own advice) but did those first couple days after he left and when fedex screwed up delivering his box. Oh boy! My little guy finagled the RC pic from his recruiter to "take home to hang over his bed". He prays for Brandon every night (we're buddhist and I have fallen to my catholic upbringing to teach traditional prayer. If that faith gets him through, I'm all for it) My husband is a correction officer and works long hours so it's usually me and the boys. I feel half empty. Thank you for your story. It lifted me up. Your daughter seems a lot like my son. I keep repeating "it'll get better" mantra.