Emotions

[VFNDtoNavymom]

My son made the “I’m here” call last night st 11:30pm. It hit me that I am not going to hear is voice again for awhile. He is my 2nd child and the first one to fly the nest. His older brother goes to college but lives at home and he is going to miss his baby sister’s 13th birthday. She is not very happy about that!!!! It’s the hardest when I get home from work because he is not here to ask me how my day went and to just sit with me on the couch. I hope an adjustment to not crying anymore comes at some point. He actually found this sight for me before he left and told me to join. I am not sure how I remembered it because I have been a wreck since Sunday, when we left him at the hotel. I definitely know I am going to need the support from people who are going through this transition as well. Any advice would be great.

[BoogiesMom]

VFNDtoNavymom:

You are in the best place right now. These Ladies have helped me immensely over the last few weeks. My youngest Son left for RTC on June 13th, and I have to say, the first 2 weeks were a nightmare for me. I think the hardest thing (besides missing them) is not knowing anything, and having no contact. I'm not a helicopter parent by any means, but I have three kids, and I have never been in a situation where I couldn't speak to them at any given point. THAT has been rough. I am not a crier, but I spent the first two weeks crying every 10 minutes. Literally. I will say that the words "No news, is Good news" have become my Mantra. I also keep telling myself that WE are in "Boot Camp" too. The whole no contact thing prepares us for those times when they are deployed, and we may not hear from them for extended periods of time. They are training us too. There is a specific reason for everything they do. Just keep that in mind when things get tough. I have left a personal timeline of sorts for you, with regard to my experience so far with letters and calls. Please realize that this WILL NOT be the same for everyone. But, at least it gives you an idea of what you might expect the first few weeks.

Ship Date: June 13, 2018
"I'm here" Call: 6/13/18 9:00pm MST (17 seconds)                                                             Box Received: 6/18/18
Form Letter Received: 6/28/18
1st Letter from my Son: 6/29/18
Phone Call: 6/30/18 (34 minutes!)

I haven't heard anything from him in the last (11) days, but I believe it's because he is now starting more hands on training, and also, he likely spent last week recovering from Wisdom Teeth Extractions. Try to remember they are ALWAYS busy, and when they do have time to write on Sundays, they may use that time to study or SLEEP. Send letters every day anyway. It's important to them. But make sure to keep them positive. Vent and cry here with us.

Also, if you don't already know this, RTC has a FaceBook page. Check it out, as they post videos and pictures regularly. Who knows, you may get a glimpse of your SR! I saw a video yesterday that had one of my Sons friends from his NJROTC Unit in it. It was very exciting!

Good luck to your SR, and to YOU, Momma. Stay strong.

[kensington]

I don't know if it gets easier or not.  Everyone says it does.  For me, I don't cry all day every day now but I am medicated.  That happened after two weeks of not being able to pull myself together.  There were days where I just did not want to get out of the bed.  The world could have collapsed and I simply would not have cared.  A friend came by to see me and wrote a prescription because she had heard that I was not handling this well.  I don't think I realized how bad this would be.  Every day of his life since he was old enough to talk I have heard "I love you Mom" from him, even when he was angry with me he still told me he loved me.  I just wasn't prepared.  I still cry every day but at least now I can function and make it through a day.  It's not a feeling I have ever had before and I just didn't know how to deal with it.  And the anger at people who were insensitive enough to say, "I know exactly how you feel.  When I took my child off to college...."  Those people have no clue.  Prisoners have more contact with the outside world than our kids do.  It's hard but every day I mark off another day closer to being able to see him and hug him and tell him how very much I love him.  Don't get me wrong.  When he calls I am positive and happy and whatever else I need to be until he hangs up.  Then I lose it all over again.  I got my "I'm here" phone call on May 29th.  I'm still a lost soul.  My cousin gave me some very sound advice.  She explained to me that I am on an island, alone, for the first time in my life.  My son, he is surrounded by all of these other people who are going through the same thing he is.  They share their loneliness and grief and fear with each other because that is now their temporary family.  Us?  We just have ourselves.  

[B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)]

kensington - hang in there.  And you don't just have yourself - you have all of us! 

And like belovedbyHim said - We haven't lost a mom to boot camp yet!  You'll get through this ~ before you know it you'll be going to PIR and you'll be laughing with your son.  Hugs to you my friend {{{NMH}}}

[Phoenixmom]

She is Right Kensington, you have us, and in order for anyone to truely understand they have to go thru it and understand it. I hope you can feel it in your Heart to know that your Loved One is working really hard and is missing you the same Garaunteed! You know what a Great Son you have raised, and I'm sure he thinks of you all the time, The easier part I dont know, I know that I have gotten stronger in learning all that I can, but miss my Baby  (Son) everyday but I know deep in my Heart he is ok and doing what he so wanted to do for himself. Keep your Head up Ma'am and please reach out to us any time!

[belovedbyHim]

Oh Kensington, This breaks my heart hon!! You ARE NOT ALONE!!!  Just like our kids, We are in this TOGETHER!!! I'm glad you are getting some help to keep you afloat but I encourage you to seek professional help to get the wind back in your sails!! There are many on here who are happy to let you vent, who can answer your questions, who will just be a "listening" ear.  This is nothing like sending a kid to College or Camp but it isn't forever either!  It gets somewhat better when they are in A school and you can speak to them but there will be times when you can't call or email or FB or Skype or.... and having skills and strategies to cope with that will be important!  Please take some time to care for your self!! You raised a Future Navy Sailor so there is strength there somewhere, it's just that sometimes you need someone to help you navigate the rough unknown seas!!!  I was there 5 years ago!  I was a HUGE mess, Crying ALL the time!! I have battled depression most of my life and I think my family was worried!  Now, With the help of some WONDERFUL ladies here, I know I can face whatever is ahead because I am a Navy Mom and I am Never alone!!!  If you need me you are welcome to PM me and I will be happy to help you get through this!! 

[belovedbyHim]

VFNDtoNavymom-- How are you feeling this afternoon?  That "I'm here" phone call is always the hardest!

[VFNDtoNavymom]

I am doing okay this afternoon. Reading everyone’s words of encouragement is very helpful. It was hard to get up and go to work this morning. I was dreading the fact that I will not see him when I get home. I have been trying to read as much as I can on what he is going through.

[Phoenixmom]

VFNDtoNavymom that is quite understandable I took a few days off myself and then the box came. Make sure someone is home to receive box they may leave a slip to have it picked up or if you can make arrangements with fed ex to leave box near door. I myself wouldnt seeing to much on the news how people nowadays are taking one's belongings. But I'm sure arrangements can be made. and if there is anything you need answered please reach out. I am Phoenixmom and I help out on Boot Camp Moms, I've been at this a year July 5th so not that Long, My Sailor is Stationed in San Diego, Coronado North Island. So please come Join, you will meet many Great Ladies! Keep your Head up Ma'am we all are here for you.