New Here, My Future Sailor leaving for MEPS Sunday

[Momof7]

My future sailor is my oldest (of 7) and he was born when I was 19, so I'm 37 years old now. He did his initial swear-in and signed a contract for Aviation before he turned 18 (he went into DEP because he was awaiting graduation) I have spent every day of basically half my life with him and I'm feeling really unready for him to leave. At the same time, he's so ready to go and I know he was born for this. 

But I'm struggling a little. It sounds silly but when I was ordering groceries online yesterday, I added cottage cheese to my cart and realized I didn't need to buy it because he won't be here to eat it (he has worked on his fitness and diet for the past two years in preparation for the Navy so he ate cottage cheese with every meal!) and it suddenly hit me. 

He just turned 18 in April and looks even younger, I can't fathom that he is no longer a kid. He always planned on going away for college but I didn't realize it would come so fast! 

What makes it harder is that my husband works out of town during the week so I'm alone with my thoughts/worries/sadness and I have six other children that are sad too. 

He's nervous too and I'm trying to keep him from being too stressed out but it's stressful, he's never been away from home except for summer camp. 

He's been joking that I've been preparing him for boot camp all his life because he's grown up in a small house with 5 brothers and I have to be extremely strict and regimented to make things work. Right now he shares a tiny room with his closest in age brother and they have always kept their belongings to a minimum because of space. He's been packing up his stuff to store as his next in line brother is planning to take his bunk to ease crowding in one of the other bedrooms. He's not even going to have a room to come back to when he visits, he'll be on the couch! I think it's hitting me that he's never going to live here again. I'm not ready for this! 

[SallyCG]

Momof7 I know damn near exactly how you feel. I think MANY of us do. My son left 6/26 and I have cried a lot in these 3-4 weeks. BUT I don’t cry for him (lol): he was so ready to go, he was so excited, knew exactly what he wanted for sooo long. I cried for me! 18 years went so fast and like you said, he’s probably never “coming home” again. I mean of course he’ll visit but it’s a weird feeling to know that he’s a visitor in his own house.

I am slowly coming to terms with all of this leaving, this lack of communication (only will get worse as he’s signed to be in a sub... can be weeks with no communication), the end of 18 yrs of mothering. I have been asking myself over and over is he happy, is he safe, is he learning, is he loved? Answers to all: YES! Now I’m a “new” kind of mom who supports and loves from afar. Who can watch this MAN spread his wings and go where he’s needed! I just keep reviewing that the one call and two letters from RTC have been so upbeat and positive and loving it .... how can I be sad if he’s doing what he loves and has always wanted.

Everyday will get easier for you as you come to terms with his being where he is wanted, needed, happy, etc. I believe in your son and his ability to choose what he wants to be. And I believe in YOU that you can grow and love and mature into a new kind of mom. We’ll do it together - lol.

[Momof7]

Thank you so much, SallyCG, you're right that I'm crying for me and not him. People keep asking me if I'm scared for him or if I'm worried he won't be okay and I'm really not. He has really wanted this for a long time, he worked really hard to be ready and he is. 

It's just MY sadness and contemplating the next phase of motherhood (although my youngest is a year old, she shares a birthday with my oldest!) so I am in all phases of motherhood right now! 

[Momsy]

I am on the opposite end with my youngest leaving thus we will have an empty nest, but will pray with you and for you as we walk through these next few weeks. Mine leaves home Monday and flies out on Tuesday. I already miss him :(

[Momof7]

I feel for you, Momsy! Man, this motherhood thing is rough, huh? I am in school now because a few years ago I was realizing how fast time flies and after devoting my entire adult life to raising children, I NEEDED something for myself so I have a goal when my nest is empty as well. 

Every 2-3 years for the foreseeable future I'll be saying goodbye to another kid. I keep reminding myself that I'm STILL their mother even when they grow up. But it's hard. Hang in there!

[Momsy]

I have been Momma for 31 years and I don't remember life before them. I have 2 boys 12 years difference in their age. The oldest did Army and I never dreamed my youngest would go this route but we are proud of the decisions he has made. I have not even met his recruiter. He has done this on his own.

[BaieBee]

We're sudden empty nesters, too, Momsy! My son, our youngest, left 6 days ago, July 17 to travel to Denver and fly out the next day. So many reminders during the day including the 2 gallons of milk that are about to expire and the no "dings" of texts messages of him checking in! I even teared up when I saw the leftover pizza he and his friends made, stowed in the frig. To top it off, since our home is no longer the Grand Central Station of teens I totally scaled back on the groceries this past weekend. Cooking now for 2? I decided to drive his car around yesterday for errands and noticed his HS graduation cap and gown were still strewn into the back seat. He really has moved on. LOL Our babes are onto gr8 things! Prayers for all ye, Mamas.

[Andrea]

Momof7, Be encouraged, graduation will be here before you know it!  I have six children, and my oldest son just graduated Boot Camp today!!!  I can relate so much to the feelings you've expressed.  I cried before he left, as well as after.  Also, I barely slept the first couple weeks.  I used my time to pray a lot and to research & read everything I could get my hands on.  The SRs go through some grueling times, but it's all purposeful & they come out stronger in the end.  This site is a wonderful resource and the ladies that run it are a great support!  May God bless you and all our military servicemen, women, and families.

[Momof7]

Congrats, Andrea! I hope to be in your place at the end of September. Thanks for your encouraging words! 

[Mamabear]

Momof7 my daughter has been gone almost a year and I still cry. I thought she would eventually come home but now she has met someone and they will ne married in September. I'm happy for her but my heart still hurts.

[Momof7]

Mama bear, it's so hard, isn't it? I always thought I'd be happy when my children grew up (it's easy to think that when you are drowning in children) but part of me wishes things never had to change.  

[RCH MN MOM⚓️]

Same here-my oldest left last week...I’ve spent half my life with him around. Mega tears when he left, but it’s getting easier! Hang in there and know we’re here to chat!

[Trilogymom]

Momof7. My youngest child left yesterday for boot camp. Our stories are very similar. He was part of DEP for ten months and will not turn 18 until August. He was completely ready l was not. I got the ten second call early this morning at 12:20 AM says no “I’m here” and “my next call will be in three weeks”. I’m waiting for his box of possessions to arrive. That is something I have dreaded for weeks. I’m sure I will pull out his clothes, take a deep breath and burst into tears. I may wallow in my heartbreak for an hour or two. But...the thought of seeing how much he has grown and how much he has matured at graduation keeps the butterflies in my stomach at bay. That is the moment I hold on to...the one that gets me through.