Feeling lost

[Stylin4u]

My son is in bc, he is on week 3. I've received several letters now and all of them he talks about wanting to quit. His emotions are getting the better of him. I'm not sure what to say to him to keep him going. This is the first time hes been away from home or family. I've told him he can do this and make it thru. This is what we've been working for as he was in ROTC. any advice from parents who have been through this. 

[Tabitha]

Hey there, Our sailor went through Bootcamp this year. If I remember correctly, the first 4 to 5 weeks they are breaking them down to build them back up. Not saying it's going to get easier but emotionally he will get better. Encourage your SR in every letter and conversation, try to keep it upbeat conversation. Keep pushing it doesn't last forever although it feels like it while they are in bootcamp. Not just for them but us to as their parents. Praying for you and your SR.

[Tammy⚓️Girl]

Stylin4u, I really don’t know what to say, but from everything I’ve read and talking to my sailor who just finished boot camp 12/14/18 — it does get easier.  So your son should be settling in now and I would imagine since your correspondence things are better for him.  Keep us updated. 

[Phoenixmom]

Hi Sylin4u, yes ma'am it is quite normal, see my Son also was in ROTC for 4 Yrs, he thought he knew what to expect when going in, Wrong! he so wanted to do something to get sent home or just quit. they never realized about the unexpected. I had to snip it in the but and had to let him know what the purpose was that he had joined and so on. I do have to say Encouragement lots of it but then it will basically be his decision whether her sticks it out because it will get better it usually does for most. the first three weeks are very strenuous, tiring and they are missing home, Family like crazy. I say give it a few more weeks and hopefully things will get better. I always hear some say it is made for some and not for all. I say give it a chance. when he calls pray with him sometimes that helps, it did for my Son. some just aren't used to being away from family and if this is the first then this is quite normal. Praying for your Son, he needs to remain focused, he can do it! (((Hugs for you Momma))))))

[Kim]

Yes, I agree with all other posts. It does ease up, my daughter also mentioned the "break them down to build them up. " Letters are critical. Check out Sandboxx app---my husband liked to send a picture a few words of encouragement. I sent my daughter written prayers from friends. I also sent some goofy jokes that she could share.

[Stylin4u]

Thank you everyone for thoughts, prayers and advice. I asked all family members and friends to write him and send him their love, support and encouragement. So hopefully that will help him. For him to see we are behind him and will be there at the finish line, when he us done. 

[NAVY4BB]

Those first three weeks are the hardest if he has made it through that far tell him it’s all downhill from here. Now is when he needs to step up and be a team player and help his team. Tell him to think of letting his team down if he quits. Tell him he needs to give it all he has for his team. Give him your love and support. Let him know 3 weeks are done he has it almost over until he takes that hat off that says recruit and replaces it with Navy and gets to call home saying I’m a Sailor!!

[Lovesponge]

I think he'll do great, maybe separation anxiety coupled with all the yelling and screaming probably was weighing heavy on him.

[Brandybill]

I had a call from my son and subsequent letters with similar sentiments. Like you, I contacted the family, and they wrote encouraging letters. In all my letters, I am encouraging and keep telling him he can do it.

[Amanda]

Like everyone said, this is completely normal! On my Facebook group we even had one mom in a panic because her son gave her a date that he was going to quit! He didn't though, and things got better. They always get better and by week five they are a whole different person with a different perspective. My wife is in BC now and said that the letters coming in (especially the Sandboxx ones) were a Godsend and really kept her going in those weeks. I encourage you to write, and write often. Remind him why he's there and that he's already come so far! Encourage him to keep fighting and tell him how much of a badass he is and how proud you are! Tell him you know he's tough and that he WILL make it through. He's got this and so do you! Praying for you and your son and may God grant you both strength and perseverance!

[Shyne@18]

Hi there.  Can you tell me what Sandboxx is and how it works?

[Amanda]

Also, my wife mentioned how amazing it is hearing about everyone who keeps asking about her. I think that her knowing how many people were rooting for her put some pep in her step! You could include that in your letters too :)

[Amanda]

@Shyne- Sandboxx is an app that sends letters next day to your recruits ship and bypasses the main mail room. The recruit probably won't get it next day still but will get it within a couple of days versus a week + that the other letters do. My recruit liked it because in the beginning when the mail was being lost, taking forever, and so forth, those are the letters that made it to her. The letters do cost 4 dollars each but this includes the fast delivery, a return envelope, a return address, and a stamp for your recruit. Now there is a lot of pros and cons of the app. There are people who will not use it because you do have to give your recruits information to a third party. The RTC site does not encourage nor discourage the app. I feel safe using it since they are at Boot camp and a lot of the address are the same, plus I don't mind people reading my letters. However, I HIGHLY discourage the use of the app once your recruit is in the fleet. :) I hope this helps!