PRIVATE MESSAGING, POSTING COMMENTS & EMAIL NOTIFICATIONS

[BunkerQB]

PRIVATE MESSAGING AND POSTING COMMENTS
1. Each GROUP, such as ours has a Comment Wall where any member can post but you do have to join the group first. You can also add a comment to any of the topics under the GROUP'S Discussion Forum. ANYONE CAN SEE THESE COMMENTS (members and non-members of the group)
2. On N4M BLOGS and FORUMS (from the Menubar with the tabs), you can start a BLOG or Discussion or post a comment (or a reply to another comment) on a blog or forum topic. ANYONE CAN SEE THESE COMMENTS (no membership required).
3. ON INDIVIDUAL PERSONAL PAGES. You can see the comments posted to a member's page as well as profile information, photos, videos unless that person has set their profile to PRIVATE. You can click on "Settings" under your name subtitle or you can go to "MY PAGE" to change your profile setting. If a member's profile is set to PRIVATE, only your "friends" can see read the comments. Click on my photo, you'll see what a private profile looks like. If I post a comment a member's page (we are not friends) and the member replies to me, she/he will be able to see the thread by not the rest of my personal info, photos, videos.
4. The N4M EMAIL SYSTEM. If you want to send a message which only you and another friend (or friends) will see, you can do that by using the N4M emailing. On the upper right hand corner, you'll see your name followed by "Inbox", "Alerts", "Friends" and "Settings". If you want to compose a message, click on "Inbox", click on "Compose", select the friend you want to send a message to, writ your message and click on send. You will also see next the "Friends" is you have any request. If you do, click on that and accept (if you want to - keeping in mind that any of your friends will be able to view your comment wall.)

NOTE REGARDING THE PRIVATE MESSAGING.
1. If you send a pm to a friend, a notification will appear in your REGULAR email system in your inbox. The text (partial text) of the message will appear. YOU CAN NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE VIA YOUR REGULAR EMAIL SYSTEM. You must login to the N4M site, go to "Inbox", open the message, then reply.
2. If you get a group message and you "Reply to all" then anyone on recipient list of the original email will get this reply (even if you are not friends with that person). You can reply to JUST the sender. in fact, it's preferable to REPLY to just the sender, rather than REPLY TO ALL.

NOTIFICATIONS WHEN YOU GET A MESSAGE OR COMMENTS.
1. If you belong to a group or have posted a comment to a blog or forum, you will get notifications on you REGULAR email system (inbox). This can result in a LOTS of emails messages. To prevent this, you can click on "Stop Following" on any group you belong to or on any blog/forum that you have posted a comment. "Stop Following" doesn't mean you are leaving the group - just discontinuation of the message notifications. There is no "Stop Following" to private messages from your "friends"; therefore, please be judicious in sending out cute graphics messages such as "Happy Friday", "Have a great weekend." etc. It's tedious to delete and therefore annoying to get those messages in your regular inbox, N4M inbox and your on your Blackberry.

2. You can also change your email notifications within SETTINGS

• Click on SETTINGS (located on the upper right - part of your status box)
  
• Click on EMAIL (located on the left)
• The are six categories: Navy For Moms Messages, Requests & Invitations, Contents & Members, Moderation, Activity & Turn Off All Emails

HINTS:
If turn off notification on messages from groups, that means you will not get any notified when there is a message on ANY of the groups to which you belong. If you want to get notifications from one or two of your groups (assuming you belong to many), then don't check the option but click on "Stop Following" underneath the comment box for each group. Keep in mind the "Stop Following" displayed means you are following and "Follow" displayed means you are NOT following. Personally, I find the following to be the most efficient:
1) under N4M messages - check personal message, message from event and comment on My Page.
2) under Requests & Invitations - check all
3) under Contents and Members - check none
4) Moderation - check
5) Activity - check in my group, new member joins
6) Turn Off All Emails - don't check.

If you are going on vacation, you can check "Turn Off All Emails" until you come back from vacation. Be sure to turn uncheck this when you come back from vacation.

DON'T FORGET TO CLICK "SAVE" WHEN DONE.

[teresa2006]

Are we allowed to put pictures of our sailor on our website?

[BunkerQB]

You bet. You see on the right - where it say "First Time Here?" Click on photos. You can include photos on your personal page too. Just remember to click on Options, them thumbnail, etc. See my discussion on http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/controlling-the-size-of-your
My personal opinion - not too many photos of your sailor (I don't have any) - no photos of anything that will provide information on the boats (instrument panel of boats). Long shots of PIR ceremony is good. However, lots of people have photos. Just make your profile provide - then only your friends can see them - scrutinize person before you accept the person as friends.
Regards, B.

[ruthrod]

I'm very stressful because my son has been calling me for the last 2months, he's been telling me about horrible stories about the Nuke program, this program has changed my son in a negative way, he was very active in high school with sports and not always strong with studying, he is a bright young man, he is not failing school, just feels like he has no life! My son is 19yrs old and not very mature for all this responsibilty, he never wanted to be a Nuke, he signed for advance eletronics and his recruiteer convience him to be a Nuke told him he would have free time to do other things that my son enjoyed, the man just plain lied to him. I don't know what can I do to help him?

[BunkerQB]

ruthrod, my son (the nuke officer) would probably tell him to try and get out of the nuke program. It's a tough program, that is way they get the bonuses. On a more positive note: here are two things you can tell him.
1. when he gets out, he will have great job opportunities where ever he wants to go in the USA, plus the GI bill for educational expenses.
2. if he wants to stay in, he could apply to go to college and start taking classes when he is not out on deployment. I know a young man who enlisted at 18, got his degree in electrical engineering, applied and was accepted to the Officer Candidate School. Today at 29, he is on his second year of a Master of Business Administration program at a very prestigious university. If he leaves the Navy after 20+ years, he will still be in his early 40s with practically unlimited job opportunities 200-250K per year as an executive somewhere.
Now, it's possible that your son is simply not mature enough for the nuke program at this moment in time. There is nothing wrong with that. Our children are all different. If he really, really hates it - he must talk to his CO and find out what he can do. I have not idea if he has to pay back his bonus (if he got it already). Good luck. Let me know how it goes. Regards, BB.

[ruthrod]

thanks B for your great advise.

[Denise (Dee)]

BunkerBee
How do you suggest we "scrutinize person before you accept the person as friends" if you can't review their profile before accepting them as a friend. Any suggestions as to how one can get comfortable with adding a new friend.

[BunkerQB]

Denise, that suggestion was made when we had the two bogus profiles making friends with everyone. They have been removed by the N4M admins. I really don't think it's a issue anymore. I generally accept friend requests automatically. When New Moms Stop Here group first started, I added many friends who were new members and I was mentoring them on a one-on-one basis. So I had 460+ friends. I "graduated" (ie. removed as friend) some of them who seemed to be getting along fine and had gotten adjusted. The funny thing is some on them would turn around and friend request me right back with messages like "Don't you love me anymore?", "What did I do wrong?", "Wait, I am not ready to go out in the real world." LOL. If I read the profile after accepting the person as a friend and it doesn't seem right (trust your instinct), I would probably remove them right then and there. But I find people are typically genuine and nice on the site. I hope this helps.

[Denise (Dee)]

Thanks BunkerBee.
I don't consider myself a computer expert and just wasn't sure if I had "missed" something and just was not aware of something new that I could be doing.
Thanks Dee

[cinderella]

My wonderful Son in whom I am so very proud is leaving soon for his duty far, far away! I am proud and sad and filled with much emotion at this time. I just want him to remember the verse that God gave me when he came into this world. " I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me. My heart and prayers and those of my family and friends and his brother and sister, they are with all of you wonderful men and women serving us. We love you all, and appreciate you, be proud of your unselfishness and courage. I hope I will be informed in how we can communicate, I know it will not be able to be frequent, however YOU are always on my min and in my heart!

All my love to my son, who will come home to me safe and proud of his accomplishments!
Love Forever your mom,
Cindy

[proudmom]

Brand new to the Navy world - my son will be going off ot bootcamp in July,
and I am looking for other moms in Palm Beach County, FL area :)

[BunkerQB]

proudmom, please join the New Moms Stop Here group.
In one of the discussions within that group, I post a pdf file with PIR & Boocamp links. Just open the file and click on the right link. Good luck.
http://www.navyformoms.com/group/newmomsstophere/forum/topics/bootc...
I also started to work on a summary of links for geographical groups. Here is the PDF file with links to the Florida groups. I am not finished with this project yet. You can also use the SEARCH function above. In fact the SEARCH function should be your best friend.

[BunkerQB]

I actually do that. Will edit the above discussion and include that suggestion. Thanks, Donna.