AECF Wives Club for our ET and FC wives

[Mary, Proud Mom of Nick]

There seems to be so many of you lately!!! It is wonderful that you will have each other's support while going thru the process together.

Thought I would start this thread so you can at least connect and share stories together. Seems like there is a fair amount of you in Great Lakes and just as many more trying to decide if you can more to Great Lakes.

[Jamie - Proud Wife]

It's kind of funny that my question appears to be last discussion in here. My husband is currently in bootcamp and is supposed to be be AECF (ET or FC not yet determined). Can I please get some input on whether or not I would be a distraction to my husband by living there and having him live ashore once he can or is it better for him for me to stay living where I am (5 hour drive away) and visit him once a month? Thanks in advance for your help.

[Miranda (Ryan's wife - FC)]

Depends on your relationship. I think most sailors do better with their wives here to support them. Some did not but mostly because they had rocky relationships to start or their wives were very demanding of their time and blamed them when they could not come home when expected. As a wife up here we have to be very understanding because most everything is not in their control. For example my husband's roommate's wife will hang up on him or yell at him when he calls her saying that liberty will be later than expected because of a surprise room inspection or when he says he needs to spend some money on buying his new uniforms. His grades were not great in A school (he got last pick of orders) and who is to say he would have done better or worse had she not been here giving him grief every other day.

Another thing to ask yourself. With all of the holds and everything your husband could end up here for a year, do you think you can go a year visiting him only once a month? As boring as it has been up here in Great Lakes this past year, I don't think I could have done the full year he was here without living with him.

[Courtney (Adam's wife) <3]

I am in the same situation- deciding whether or not to move up to GL while my husband is in A school. So far, this has been our nightly discussion. We have two kids and one on the way and my entire family is here where I was born and raised. We have a wonderful relationship, being married for almost 7 years. So, two main reasons he thinks it is better for us to stay...1. more support here with the kids whereas he would spend most of his day away from us in school. 2. We would cut his paycheck completely in half by moving. I would prefer to move even to see him for an hour a day, but I see his point with both reasons. So, for now we stay... I am thrilled with the phone calls throughout the day and texts galore along with pic messages. We'll see how long that appeases me, lol. Even though he isn't in school yet and just on hold, I still want to be supportive and not one of the clingy insecure ones. :) Again, it's a work in progress. :)

[Jenn AECF wife]

Yep im a newbie!!! My husband is at basic right now 2 weeks down fo far. He was actually forced into this rating because he scored so high on the asvab. Can someone tell me after school is done will he be assigned to a ship and what are the chances of being deployed etc? I actually dont want this life for our marriage and our children. I just dont think I am as strong and tough as all of you are. My husband is 30 and is physically fit and mentally in the game but im just not sure how much of a toll this will take on our family life seeing is how we have never been apart.

[Courtney (Adam's wife) <3]

Heather- it sounds like we have a lot in common! :)

[Miranda (Ryan's wife - FC)]

He will probably be assigned to a ship and sea duty is most likely going to occur. I say probably and most likely because I have seen a sailor go straight from schooling to shore duty (ET to China Lake to be exact to maintain a specific system) but it's very unlikely.

Since he's AECF you have a long time to prepare yourself for deployment.

Oh and don't feel too bad about him being "forced" into AECF. It's quite often a top choice (even above nuke) for most of them for a reason. And because he was given AECF that means you'll have a lot more time with him before he goes to sea and you'll be able to live with him during his schooling. There are perks :). Good luck.

[Mary, Proud Mom of Nick]

Good news is ...you have 1.5 to 2 years before you have to worry about a ship. Bad news is - this rate is a very sea going rate and it is spelled out in his agreement that he signed at MEPs how many years he will be at sea before he earns shore duty. They are not deployed all year but at times - it seems like it. Also ships require maintenance that can take months or even years at time ...perhaps his ship might be...needy.

I lived the life for 10 years and it can be very difficult dealing with separations BUT it can also be fabulous experiences. We lived in Japan (by choice) for a lot of our years and then on to SanFransico area - we have friends and memories that we would never trade. With the communication of skype, emails, phones - it is so much easier today. My daughter is engaged to a solder in Iraq and almost daily they are talking on skpye for hours at a time. I understand how scary it may seem especially with children involved but I think you will see never ending support and if you are willing to be part of the Navy community - you will find iife long friendships and bonding with your husband that I am not sure that other marriages get to experience.

[newyearsbaby]

Hey guys,
I'm a newbie to this site, but I'm LOVING it. I'm the type of person that has to research everything so this helps so much. I am engaged and my fiance is scheduled to leave for basic training June 21st. His rating is AECF obviously so he will be in GL for training. Since the school is so long, are they more flexible about marriage chits and leave? I know most schools don't like giving leave but we just need a Friday-Sunday deal, not an entire week. We weren't planning on getting married until January 2011 anyway and hopefully he'll be towards the middle of his training by then. Thanks for your help and support

[Mary, Proud Mom of Nick]

There is a ton of info and support here for you -

Typically the only leave that he will be able to take is Christmas standdown. The schools in GL shut down for the holidays so he will be taking leave for a couple of weeks then. I haven't looked at a calendar yet but generally it's like the Friday before Christmas they leave in a mass exodus and return the first Sunday of January. So if you are looking at a family style wedding, you might want to think about the holidays.

Otherwise if you are thinking of a simple wedding to make it legal, once he phases up and earns the right to wear civilian clothes and have overnight liberty - you could go to GL and get married there. He will have weekends off unless it's duty weekend and as long as he stays within 300 miles of the base - he can be out all night without taking leave.

Are you thinking about moving to GL while he is in A school?

[newyearsbaby]

Can they take leave at Thanksgiving if they don't have duty? I'm not sure about moving yet because I have a job and a house here I'll need to take care of before moving. Plus, I wanted to be married first before I head up there and he'll start in June.

[Miranda (Ryan's wife - FC)]

Thanksgiving leave is a possibility but not a guarantee. My husband and I went to Florida on Thanksgiving last year but they didn't approve his leave to go until 2 days before we left so our plane tickets were atrocious. He had duty but they allowed a duty swap chit.

[Shelbys Mom - FC - Great Lakes]

Hey. I don't have any info for you but wanted to say hi, because my daughter has AECF rating and is going to basic training on June 21st as well. If you get any details, please let me know and I will do the same!