My son left for GL today

[annafornavy]

Growing up in a military family you would think I would have a better handle on myelf. I feel like I am unraveling. I am normally in control and on top of things. But saying good-bye to my little touch of heaven was so hard. I am so proud of Dustin though. My birthday is May 2nd and when I came home from work tonight he left me a b-day card and mothers day card on my bed. Just when I thought my tears had dried the flood gates opened and I found myself on the floor clutching them cards close to my heart... I know it is 8 weeks and we will both survive but right now I dont feel like I will... My umbilical cord hurts and right now I just want to miss him and have the people around me allow to miss him.. And let me to cry and hurt without them saying a word.. Dustin had the best recuriter, he has been so good to him and very informitive about what to expect... I am so thankful this site is here... I know this is a safe place where I can truly comeand be understood with out judgement of my feelings...

[Ann K.]

Hi Anna. My son Kevin left for BC on 4/6. I knew I would cry, but whoa!!! I didn't know I would cry THAT much. Its completely normal. My family isn't quite sure how to deal with my tears either. They were a little worried about me... tried "humor" (and I use that term loosely). They expected I would fall apart when 'the box' came. No, I didn't. Not one tear. (But it helped that I read this site and knew it was coming... hah!!!) Moms and sons are very close and its just really normal to hurt and cry at this time.

You will survive this. We all will. I've read on this site a wide range of experiences by the Recruits in BC. I am happy to say my son has been very upbeat about his experience so far. He actually has said he likes it for the most part. There are stupid things he has to do (which he knew would come) and he gets mad at other recruits for talking when they shouldn't (and so the entire group gets punished), but all in all, he likes it.

I miss my son terribly. And... I am so excited about this new world he has entered... all the new experiences he will have... the knowledge and self confidence he will gain... and oh how his horizons will broaden.

Hang in there !!!
Ann

[annafornavy]

Thank you so much Ann... I am such a strong woman no one knows how to handle me right now.. My sister said Annd you are the one that holds are family together in crisis, we dont know how to hold you... I said all I want is for you to just let me cry and miss my Dustin...

I know this is what Dustin wanted he did the P90X program for 2 years so phsically he is fit and ready, but his heart is so tender... I pray for the day I get his letter and he tells me he is fine and all is well and then I long for that first phone call that I can hear his voice.. But then I fear, if he sounds down or depressed. It will break my heart to pieces...


It just kills me to know they are breaking his spirit when all my life I protected that.. I pray the building up process brings him back where he belongs... Thank you for writing me...

Anna

[Ann K.]

Hi Anna. I totally understand. I tend to be the 'rock' in my family too. Everyone relies on me and if I get sick or feel stressed... they all freak out. My son Kevin is a sweetheart... he wears his heart on his sleeve. He is such a good young man and I am so proud of him. How old is your Dustin? Kev is going into this a little older than most of the recruits... he's 23 (24 in May... yes, while still in BC, but we'll keep it a secret so he doesn't get extra attention haha). The Navy was actually my suggestion. Kev had ideas of a career but they didn't pan out. At the time, college wasn't for him. It had been 5 years since HS graduation & he had no career... a couple of years of college under his belt but.... nothing was happening. I am not one who believes college is the ONLY path to success... throughout time, there are many many different paths to a successfull and fulfilling career/life... I had a 'heart to heart' with Kev... he needed to do something. The career he hoped for was most likely not going to happen. And I told him I knew he wanted to be independent and not living at home in another 5 years... I suggested he look at the Navy and what it has to offer. It took him several months, and certainly it had to be his decision... I planted the seed & thankfully, it germinated. I did not push. He agreed and did everything on his own. I knew going in that BC could be really tough. But its not forever... in fact, its such a short time of true difficulty. Adversity makes us all stronger. And I knew that for my son, facing the challenges and excelling would do him a world of good. Most likely he cannot make a living at his first love... which is pro basketball. He absolutely excels at it and is very confident... but he's had some injuries at the wrong times that prevented him from getting noticed. Who knows... we heard there might be opportunities to play for the Navy team. But, one step at a time... I actually got his first full phone call today. I asked him to call my cell, because he could reach me anywhere. I saw the 847 area code & knew that could only be him. Thankfully the swollen ankle that was a concern about 10 days ago (old b-ball sprains) is not an issue. He is running that 1.5 mile & no issues. He sees nothing standing in his way of that June 4th graduation...

My son & I are very close. His father & I divorced when he was about 9. His father has been absent for the most part, even tho he lives within an hour of us. He's had every opportunity to be involved in his childrens lives... but I've learned he gets close to no one. My son has grown into a very wonderful young man... and I know his Navy BC experience will help him tremendously in self esteem and confidence. It will help him to grow in maturity.

I hope your pain has eased somewhat Anna. Even if your son experiences some really hard times in BC... perhaps knowing that they are very short lived and temporary will help... perhaps knowing that these experiences help our sons grow from boys to men will help... Honestly, I feel my son was very much up to the challenge. I believe their self image and confidence grows by leaps & bounds when they've met every challenge.

I've yet to meet anyone who had a bad thing to say about their Navy experience. Everyone has said it was one of the best decisions they ever made.

Has your son been involved in any team sports? I've read on several discussions in N4Ms that recruits who've experienced team sports seem to handle the atmosphere a little easier... my son certainly knew getting yelled at by a coach & he was yelled at alot I know... his early b-ball days... he was known as a 'hot dogger' (a little wild & not following the game rules) but he soooo wanted to play, he got in line & learned. He sat on the bench for years... but finally made JV... then made Varsity... and actually was a started on his Varsity team... they were the only team to made it to the state finals/sweet 16 for his school... they lost to a team that no one beat, but he was the high scorer for his team and even tho they lost, their coach handled it perfectly & he came away feeling positive about the experience. That coach & I actually never got along... but I have to say... he handled that perfectly.

Anyway... I hope you are feeling a little better about your sons experience. I know for me, I just keep holding on to the positives... his new experiences... his new friends... new opportunities... the possibility of travel & seeing the world. These will be experiences that he can share and pull from for the rest of his life. Let me know how you are doing.
Take care
Ann

[annafornavy]

Hi Ann -

WOW.. Our son''s and you and I are similiar in so many ways... It is amazing...

Dustin is so tender hearted. I never had to spank him as a child or ground him as a teenager if he thought for one second I was disappointed in him it broke his heart instantly and that was all it took for him to never do it again.. I have been a single mom most of Dustin's and Parker's lives. I hardly dated. I threw my life into them and pushed them to be gentleman. I always had in the back of my mind: I am raising someone's husband and father... That is a HUGE responsibilty...

I had Dustin when I was 17. I was a broken and lost teenager. I almost had an abortion and almost gave him up for adoption because I was so scared. My mom left me when I was 5 and I didnt know how to be a mom and had no motherly figure in my life to lean on. I decided against all odds to keep him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Having him gave me the courage, strength and determination to succeed. Last Sunday before he left he said mom I am so glad you didnt dispose of me (abortion) or give me up for adoption. He said I would never be the man I am today if I didnt have you for my mom... Ann, that tore me apart... We are so close and we always will be... I miss my son...

Dustin is 23. Two years of college but he didnt enjoy it. We live in Elkhart County where Barack Obama came several times because we are in the heart of the RV capital. Our economy and unemployment rate is incredibly high. He could not find a job and he wanted to get out of Indiana. The Navy was his idea. First he was going to join the Marines because of his grandpa, then he was going to join the Army because of my brother. Then he decided he wanted his own brach and chose the Navy... I cant say I was happy.. But I knew all the places he would go and the life he would experience would be AWESOME... Now I hope he makes a carrer of it, because he has a servant's heart and I know this is made for him...

He played 3 sports in high school. Quarterback for the football team, small forward for BB and he ran track. But his passion was BB and he thought for sure the NBA was in his future. But at 6' even he didnt have a chance. He started varsity his sophomore year in high school. He would score 8- 10 points a came but his strong point was his quickness and defense. He too would like to play for the Navy.. Wouldnt that be something if Kevin and Dustin ended up together on the team.. : ) Makes my heart smile...

Dustin is a quiet leader. His recruiter said they would pull the vocal out of him in boot camp.. He said he has been recruiting in our area for 4 years and Dustin is the best one at the top of his list since he has been here.. Maybe he says that to everyone... There was a seal fitness training that Dustin and his recruiter attended. Dustin wants to be a seal... 800 people attended the event.. Dustin finished second, behind a navy seal.. His recruiter dropped him off and could not stop telling me and my boyfriend Mike how proud he was of Dustin and how he almost beat the seal... LOL... I cetainly dont want him to be a seal.. That boot camp is 6 months.. If I cant handle 2 months there is no way I could deal with 6..

Dustin is so humble and meek.. He never brags or thinks he is better than anyone.. I love that about him. But I think the NAVY will help him be more confident and self-assured and bring out the Dustin that is going to soar...

I am feeling a smidge better. I called his recruiter and got his address tonight.. I feel so much better now that I cen reach him, if only from afar...

You are a gem Ann and I appreciate your friendship so much!!!

Anna

[Ann K.]

Hi Anna. Isn't that amazing... our sons are the same age and very similar school experience and sports interests.

I'm so sorry to hear that your Mother was not with you for most of your childhood... but it sounds like you are a wonderful mother and your son is very lucky to have you.

The seal experience your son already had is amazing. It sounds as tho the Seals are definitely for him.

My son Kevin did play one season of football... he was the kicker. But there was controversy during the football season... the b-ball coach was not supposed to recruit or practice the kids for b-ball while they played football. The b-ball coach had an agreement with the football coach, but he ignored it & did it anyway. My son got a sprained ankle during off season, playing independent league b-ball that the b-ball coach told him to sign up for... and so he missed football games... these coaches were not keeping their agreement, but trying to blame the kids.

Anyway, Kev's first love is basketball. He is 6'5". I think of him as a gentle leader too. He has played on adult b-ball leagues since HS & also does sims & works out ALOT. My boss didn't believe me when I told him that the physical challenges of BC will be nothing for Kev... N O T H I N G... He just refused to believe me. (my boss works out alot too) But Kev has said nothing about being sore or any of that. Just that one bothersome ankle from b-ball sprains, but thankfully it quieted down and he said it is no issue.

I was able to talk with Kev on Thursday. We talked for 30 minutes. It was great. He is super upbeat, likes the RDCs, feels their division is one of the best and this all seems to be just what he needed.

I live in Westminster Colorado... I wish I could've gone down to see Obama during the convention. But Denver (about 20 minutes SE of us) was so jammed packed.

Kevin will work in Logistics (supplies) in the Navy. I know he watched something on the military channel about SEAL BC... They are the toughest of the tough!!! His A school is in Meridian MS.

I plan on driving to PIR. I've had a rough couple of years with some health issues for my daughter. She is much improved now and actually is signing up for a local community college to start classes in June. (She's 19). But I've decided Mom needs a little vaca. (My husband was recently laid off... we really can't afford plane tickets for all of us to go. But I am not missing PIR for anything!!) I'm don't mind being by myself. I am planning to stop at as many antique stores as I can find on my drive to PIR... and probably on my drive back!!! I am searching Iowa & know there will also be many in Nebraska. (My hobby is a space in an antique store... I know little about antiques, but hit the garage sales & find lots of fun interesting things. Don't really make any money at it... yet... but I enjoy it alot.)

Well, I need to close and get moving this morning. (Have an outdoor frenchy flea market to go to.) I've been on cloud 9 since Kevin called on Thursday. He is finding the BC experience to be very good and I am sure your son Dustin will too. Are you on facebook? I know we are not supposed to give last names on here, but my name is totally different from my son's. You can find me on FB Ann Moore Kossack, if you'd like.
Take care

[annafornavy]

Hi Ann -

It is so nice to connect with someone that is much like you.. Thank you for your kind words about my mom. It hurt for a long time, but once I had my boys, I vowed to be the mom to them that I had always longed for, and being their mom helped me heal my wounds.. My youngest son Parker is 19 : ) He will turn 20 on July 9th. I added you as a friend on FB. My son and I have differnt last names too.

I am wondering if Dustin will want to pursue the SEAL training after this.. It will be interesting. As he has watched videos on the training weekly. Even if you do make it though SEALBC they still might not pick you to be a SEAL. Which would be devastaing, but saying you even made it to the end of SEAL BC would be amazing. I would come home from work and he would be in the back yard with big logs over his head walking and running up and down the yard... After he watched a video where 6 guys stood with a log over their head for hours... That is just insanity to me... LOL..

Dustin's A school is going to be in Meridan, MS as well. I think that would be awesome if Dustin and Kevin became friends. It sounds like they would bond instantly. I am not sure what he is signed up to do in A school.. That is bad...

High School Politics is amazing dont you think.. It puzzles me how f-ball coaches and b-ball coaches are always agaisnt one another. The b-ball coach didnt want Dustin to play f-ball because he was so afraid he would get injured. So every year Dustin would contemplate going out for f-ball..

I am so glad Kevin's old injury is not affecting him much.. That would make it more challening. I pray Dutin's RDC's are good men and he has a good DIV.. It will help me so much if Dustin's first letter is up-beat like Kevin's call. I am afraid he will spare me of his sadness because he knows It will hurt me. But I wont know how to help him if he doesnt let me know.

Dustin was my home body, if friends wanted to see him they had to come to our home. He didnt like going out to the bars he just like being home and drinking by the bon-fires. SO my house is where both my son's friends come and hang. They all call me mom.. I love it. I told him if anyone in his group is not receiving letters to let me know and I will write him letters. I cant stand the thought of anyone there not being reached out to.

You will have a fun drive here. I dont mind being alone either. In fact I enjoy my moments.. I live in Northern, IN so you will be close by me when you drive to GL. I am 2 hours from Chicago. So the trip for me will be easy. You should be able to find some Antiqes in IN as well. We have lots of them everywhere... : )

IS PIR in the morning? I seen on the GL website something like it starts at 8:45 am is that correct? Will Kevin leave for A-school immediatly or will you be able to take him home? Dustin said he might only get 3 hours with us after graduation and have to leave or he might be able to come home if his opening is not ready yet. I hope I can bring him home.. : )

Take Care Ann - We shall talk again soon...

Anna

[lhpa(jazz mom+dad)ship9div225]

Hi Anna I can truly understand what you mean. My daughter left for GL on april 27th and I've sick to my stomach every since. She is located at SHIP 9 DIV 221, her graduation date is June 18th and I pray she passes everything. I read on this site where when they dont pass something they push the graduation date back 2 weeks, I hope she passes. Ive been waiting to hear from her and I received the letter today with the adrress and her small comment at the bottom stating "I hate this place". I was happy just receiving that, even thogh she hates it, You grew up in a military family, I didn't how do you deal with this?

[annafornavy]

Hi Ihps: I received Dustin;s box tonight that was a tough one... He missed June 18th graduation the last DIV is 222 and he is 223. So it sounds like the first 2 divsions in the graduating glass are the GRAD's and GO so he has 3 hours after graduation before he leaves. So I will get about and hour and a half with him.. Whatever time I have I will be thankful for it. I understand that family can go to the airport with them and get a special pass to go through security so we can sit with him there and talk... You are correct if they dont pass a test it is a set back, but your daughter is going to do BRILLIANTLY in all courses.. : ) We need to encourage her to not look at it as a prison sentence but a misson that is going to give her so many exciting new adventures... The end result is worth the pain and sadness.. My dad was a Marine and he hated boot camp but loved what came after it. He is a Vientnam Vet.. THANKS DAD!!! My brother was a soilder in the Army and loved boot camp and everything about the Army. I was so very close to my brother and it hurt so much when he left right after high school. Now with my son leaving this is a pain and lonliness I have never felt before... I pray for him every moment... Because I never know when he just might need that little boost... I know one thing for sure when you see your daughter at graduation her smile will be the brightest you ever saw it. She ran the race and she endured the hardships.. Hang in there!!!! There is no other love like a mothers love so your words to her in your letters are going to raise her up and keep her strong... Anna

[annafornavy]

AWWW Bless her heart... Getting them wisdom terth cut out is painful.. I wonder if Dustin had to do that??? I am sure I will all about it when he writes me... Battlestations will be a breeze by the time they go through it I am sure. After all that leads them up to that moment with PT and running here and marching there... : ) It is so hard for us Momma's to let this happen to them, when we want to raise our grizzly bear self and swat anyone that talks mean or hurts our childrens spirit...

((((( HUGS))))) to you too...