Help! Joining soon and Parent troubles.

[AF Airman]

Hello im not a mother of a sailor but i though who better to ask for help with my parents than Mohers who are in the action and have gone through this with their daughters. I plan on joining the navy i have thought about it for a while just never told anybody because i wanted to make sure it was something i wanted before talking about it. Well i have thought about it ALOT and made my decision that i want to join the Navy. I was undecided for a while between Air Force and the Navy but i feel the navy is where i need to be. My parents main concern is that i will quit school and never return to college. But that is ONE of my reasong why i want to join. I feel the navy will teach me structure and get me into a studying habit that will help me in college. I also plan on using the benefits they offer towards school. But my main reason for joining is because i want to do something for me i want a career now and they give you hands on training. I want the experience i want to explore. I want to do something special and make a difference. Im ready to grow up and leave home and see what the navy has to offer. I love being at home and i love my parents so im not joining to get away from home which is another thing my parents think. I just need advice and alot of HELP on what to do and how to go about with this situation. Also if any of your daughters have any advice i would love to hear it. Or if you Mothers can tell me how your daughters navy life has gone and how they feel and what they think about it.

 

Thank you. I would really love to hear what you have to say. =)

[DC - G'mother of My Fav Sailor]

Future Sailor, it breaks my heart when parents push away a child because the child is choosing his/her own path in the world. I have seen it happen too often and it is only a lose-lose situation. Pat, Blondie, dMarie, and others have told you that we will be happy to adopt you and we will be. You won't be the first and you won't be the last. Others have enjoyed a good relationship with an adopted Mom. Please take advantage of it.

When I finished my freshman year of college, I chose to go to secretarial school and then get married. I know that at the time, it disappointed my dad but at the time it was the right thing for me to do. Twelve years later, I had an opportunity to return to college full-time. I completed the remaining three years in four semesters. I went on to earn a master's and a Ph.D. so I do know that postponing college does not mean that you are giving it up forever. I also happen to disagree that a degree in "anything" is necessarily a good thing. It is true that at times just having a degree will open doors but it requires that you sell yourself very well. Many young people, especially females, are not good hustlers for a job. I think a stint in the Navy, or any service, will improve your ability to sell yourself.

Anna mentioned the ability to advance in different rates. Right now the Navy is overmanned which means advancement is much more difficult. I think it is valuable to know what the ability to advance is but it should not direct your decision. She mentioned PS vs. YN. I don't know anything about either of these rates but on the surface, it would seem that the two jobs have similar tasks in that they are both more administrative. If you like this type of work, then definitely choose one with the better advancement opportunity. This is why I keep coming back to the idea of spending time in deciding what type of work you think you would enjoy.

Our granddaughter had requested helios but ended up with the Prowler. She told me this morning that after being out on the carrier, she really is glad she is working on the Prowler. It's funny ... she is now talking about "her" plane and "her" baby. That's such a better attitude to be able to have.

[Blondie]

futuresailor, my heart goes out to you. You have my support and love. My daughter did everything without telling us, one morning she said mom i won't be here for lunch i'm going to columbus to take my test for navy intelligence! 3 weeks later we were saying good-bye. alot like you, she's very independent, we are very close and she had mentioned back in school she was looking into the navy, but we hadn't heard a thing and she went on and signed up for college etc....We Definately supported her and her choice! she commented I did it for me, to prove to myself....she's the baby of the family. She has done remarable, even her commanding officers are amazed how high sh has climbed in such a short period. so my advice to you is Go For it! if you have prayed and made up your mind Don't let anyone change it. do what's BEST for you. my opinion is your family will come around, when they realize your serious about this and that you're grown up and making your own decissions. my daughter counsels others her first question to them is : what are you running from? What are you running too? this is a life commitment for the next 4-6-8 years, NOT a summer job! If your sure, steam ahead, these moms will back you. good luck my prayers go with you. Blondie

[Kimmy Proud Navy Mom]

Hi Future Sailor. I have a daughter who is leaving for boot camp June 23rd. She is going to become an Aviation Electrical Technician. And I also have a son who just graduated from A school and is now an ET(Electical Technician). Still has C school to attend. So as a mother I am still new at all of this. These other N4M's have a lot more experience and advice for you. But I want you to know that my kids recruiter has been a big help and led me to the N4M's over a year ago and my experience has been good one thanks to these mom's and grandma's. Not to mention our recruiter is a female! I wish you the best of luck in all that you do and may God Bless you on your journey ahead.

[dmarie]

So sorry to hear that your dad isn't supporting you (at least for now). I am echoing Pat's reply. We are here, and we're not going away. You've just gained many more "moms" that are reporting for duty! I know it isn't the same as your parents, but sometimes you need to get support wherever you can get it. And I truly believe that a young person cannot have too many caring people in their lives. Please give Anna your contact info, and I will write to you, along with others.
Good luck, God Bless.

[Anna]

FutureSAILOR,
I sent you a private email message through this website. Let me know if you get it ok. We will definately help you through this process - and as I said in the message - I firmly believe your parents will come around, it just may take some time. They may be scared that the military is a dangerous place for their daughter. But in the meantime, we will be here for you!!

[AF Airman]

I talked more to my parents about everything. I been doing research on the ROTC program. My parents said that if i decide to do that and get my bachelors and then join the navy as an officer they will support me 100% and helo me with everything and help me reach my goal in any way they can. I am goin to speak to my recruiter on Monday about this. My uncle who was in the military also suggested i do this. He said its a better oppurtiny and i will get more out of the experince. I am considering it and having my parents support is very important to me so i might just end up doing that. I will keep you all updated and i really appreciate all the support i get here. I really wish i could just go into the service now but ROTC doesnt seem bad and i will still be joining the navy in two yars with a higher position. Im praying that everything goes right for me and that whatever happens is for the best.

[DC - G'mother of My Fav Sailor]

You may also want to check out the NROTC website. There's a lot of information there. If your school has a NROTC program, you could visit one of the officers on campus working with the program. They can certainly point you in the right direction.

I am unsure about your getting more out of the experience than as enlisted. It will definitely be a different experience. You will get better pay and better berthing, and that makes life aboard ship much more pleasant!! NavyMom mentioned more responsibility and that is true. The enlisted sailors spend long hard hours working and the officers even spend longer hours on many occasions. You may well find that you have much more in common with fellow officers in terms of interests, morals, and attitudes.

Anna, congratulations on your daughter receiving tentative selection into the BDCP! Does she want to go back to the University of Akron? May we soon learn that she has received final selection.

[Anna]

FutureSAILOR,
I am so glad you and your parents are discussing some of your options with the Navy, and are willing to support you in one aspect. NavyMom is right though, you need to talk to an officer recruiter. There are several distinct differences to going in as an officer vs. enlisted. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my daughter Jenn finished her second year at University of Akron and is trying to get in through the BDCP - Baccalaureate Degree Completion Program. She got selected and then went to MEPS for her medical, and passed her PT - which again is a little different for officer potentials. She should be hearing by the end of this month if she got her final acceptance. She will then finish her last two years of college while getting E3 pay along with housing and food allowance. After college graduation, she will go to OCS and then flight school. This could be another avenue for you if ROTC isn't a good fit.
Good luck to you and always feel free to come here if you have any questions that maybe we can help you with. Or at least be a sounding board!!!! Please keep us posted!

[AF Airman]

I went to see and Officer Recruiter today. My dad volunteered to go with me and im so glad he did. The meeting went great and my dad and I both left very happy. I will be able to apply for BDCP, hopefully in January, once i have 30 credits and raise my GPA above a 2.7. My dad is completely behind me on this and is willing to work with me and help me in any way he can. He even said that if i have to quit my job to dedicate more time to school so i can do better and finish faster he will give me money to cover the neccessary. Im going to my college tomorrow to speak to an advisor. Im currently majoring in biology but im most likely going to change to nursing so that i may enter the navy as a nurse corps officer. What i really want to do is anything that has to do with medicine and helping and treating people so im really looking forward to it im very excited and very determined to do what i have to do to reach my goal. =) Finally things are looking pretty good.

[JM-ISmomx2]

That is wonderful futureSailor. I'm really glad things are starting to work themselves out. Good luck on your program and I'm so glad your Dad is now so supportive. Keep us posted.

[Anna]

FutureSailor,
That is so wonderful - I am so happy for you. You will be going into the same program my daughter is trying to get into. She is a Chemistry major at U of Akron. Please keep us posted on here and let us know how your progressing!!!!

Best of luck to you.

[Blondie]

I'm soo happy for ya!!!!
stay in touch, you'll still always be one of ours.
good luck to ya and God bless.