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new to being a navy girlfriend! help me please!
Views: 81
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by wsh SHIP 14 DIV 273 on
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Hey girl! First off Congragulations on your little one on the way! =) Second of all you need to eat. He would want you to eat. your futrue husband/sailor would want you taking cae of you and baby. My husband and I were married a month before he left for bootcamp and I felt the same way the first week. Let me tell you the days go by slow but girl the weeks go by fast!! I know it won't seem the way now but it will come together soon. He can request leave after bootcamp and in most case he is granted is what i've been told. They don't just give it to him but he is able to ask for it. Also as far as the baby is concerned he will get maternity leave...all you have to do is ask and put in for it. But it is the birth of his baby girl, I would highly doubt they would let him go. I draw pics for him everynight. HE used to draw for me ad before he left didn't get to finish what he was drawing for me and so he felt really bad. So everynight I get my sketch book and write a lil paragraph for him and draw eithe rlittle inside jokes or differnet stuff that makes our relationship unique. =) it's a little corny but it's just something I do for him. I have a journal where i write down all the sad crazy emotions and all of my letters to him i always say i miss him and love him and number one am very proud of the future he is making for our family. =) we don't have a little one yet but we are going to start a family as soon as we can and it always makes him happy to hear that. I hpe this helps girl. I was you five weeks ago. I've only got three weeks till I see my hsuband again, I proimse it gets so oooo much easier. If you have any questions you can ask me anything. Feel free to send me a friend request. I'm ahead of the game so to speak in weeks and anything I can do i'm here girl. And by the way I eat ice cream all the time to make me feel better. And i'm sure baby would love that. =)
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Permalink Reply by firstimenavygirlfriend on
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thank you so so so much. it did help. do you know how long he would get paternity leave for? but as far as the eating thing goes. everytime i try to eat i get sick and it didnt start untill the day he left. i know its bad but in the three days he has been gone i havent been able to eat and hold down half of what i ate when he was here. i am just so scared. what if he changes his mind and doesnt want to be in the navy like im so scared something is going to go wrong and i am afraid to tell him the truth about how i am really holding up because i dont want it to be my fault if he decides it was the wrong ecision. :/ im just so confused and everything right now.
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when you say in most cases 10 days what exactly are you refering to? i just dont want to think and it be wrong. but i want to say thank you to all. having someone to talk to who has been through it or is currently going through it is a great releife to know im not the only one feeling this way. :)
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I meant that I've always heard they got 10 days. I don't want to give you false information but that's always how I've heard it. =) and your welcome girl trust me. This site is so much help!!!
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im still confused ten days for what? are you referring to 10 days leave? or what like i said i just dont want to think something that isnt even close lol i promise im not stupid just confused about all of this. :)
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10 days leave for the birth of the baby and to be with you afterwards or before. :) I had a friend who didn't have her baby till her due date when they induced her and her hsuband was able to be there for it.
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hearing that makes me instantly feel better! i was so worried that he wouldnt be able to make it and i know that would absoultely crush us both! knowing him and knowing what he believs his prioritys are. i dont think he would make it if he wasnt able to come home. he told me from the git go the baby is number one no matter what no matter where. :) which makes me feel good just because i know he is serious about this and most men his age arent
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Permalink Reply by JB's Mom Cori on
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Boot camp is definitely difficult for all involved. Can't imagine going through it as you are now. Keep in mind that the best thing you can do for your fiance is take care of yourself. You don't want him to think him being apart from you is going to be unsafe for either one of you. Tell yourself that eating and sleeping will make life better for all of you. The first couple of weeks are the hardest...and even getting the first phone call. But, tell yourself that it doesn't last forever and is only a few months. Once you hit the middle it goes faster....because you start to seriously look/work toward graduation. Focus on that now....make a countdown and watch the numbers get smaller.
As for a break between graduation and A school...it truly depends on his A school and when it's going to start. My son graduated over Thanksgiving weekend so he was offered leave....of 4 days! But, he couldn't take leave until Christmas...and because his A school hadn't started yet. And, he got leave after graduating from A school.
As for being there for the birth of the baby, I'm really not sure. Hoping that someone else replying here would be able to clear that one up. I know that a lot of it depends on the schooling and next duty station. I would imagine he would have to put in a request....as he can't just leave to go home without leave papers, but, again, I'm not postive.
Hope that helps a little bit. -
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Okay...the first thing is you're going to have to take care of yourself and your baby. It sounds like you're in a commited relationship but if he's going to be in the Navy there are going to be a lot of times he's not going to be able to be there.
This is his job now and if he messes it up may affect any other job he wants in the future.
Hopefully you've got family with you to keep an eye on things. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest but then it will start to get better...the letters and occasional call will start and that will settle your nerves. I promise you it will get better but you've got to believe it.
You've got to stay focused on having a healthy baby and staying healthy so you can attend his PIR.
He is gong to be away at sea for weeks and/or months in the future and you're gong to have to start now figuring out how to handle being alone....if not, he's going to be unable to focus on his job.
Try to find some hobbies...knitting, reading, gardening, anything that interests you to get your mind off the fact that he's not there. What he is doing is going to be a great thing for your little family but YOU'VE got to be strong.
There are many groups on here...groups for fiances, cooking, check into his A school group, his rate (job). Once you get the PIR date the PIR group will be a great place for you to hang out.
Just hang in there...remember to eat just a bit or two every few hours...drink as often as you can...don't want to get dehydrated. Remember to BREATHE ! -
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Permalink Reply by SailorsAngel21 on
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Hey congrats on the little one! You MUST eat, I couldn't eat ether, I was able to eat soups which is softer on the stomach but it has nutrition that you and the BABY NEEDS! My boyfriend just got done with boot camp and went straight to A school he gets a guaranteed 2 weeks leave when he's finished there, his recruiter told us after boot camp too, common lies. He was kinda upset with me cause I had lost about 20lbs when he was in basic, and would shove food down my throat over liberty weekend, he's gotta know you'll take care of yourself when he's not there to. Now about passing the time, I went to my friends house a lot, and started volunteering at church, be creative about what you do. And Ben and Jerry's always helped me, they still do.
Katie. -
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