Don't have my Sea Legs yet...

[allybelle]

Hi. I am brand new to this site and to the navy life. My husband is headed off to OCS in about a week, and I am just having a hard time with everything and with staying strong in his eyes. Since I am brand new to this I am completely welcome to any advice on things that I can do to help our time apart be better for us.

[RightHereWaiting]

Hey. OCS isn't bad. I know it's hard to deal with any kind of separation after being with him for so long. But the first two weeks are usually the worst. You'll notice that once he leaves, everything goes to crap. At least that's my experiance. Lol, and it's Murphy's Law, ya know? Best way I've found to deal with it all is take one day at a time. Set up things for you to look forward to. Like going to the Aquarium with a friend [what I'm doing today, lol, planned it a week ago] or going up to wine country next month [doing that in a couple weeks with same friend, lol!] and etc. You get the idea? Keeping busy will be your best allie through this.

I think most of us are enlisted wives so maybe that's why no one responded to this earlier. :] OCS is a lot different from boot, but I work with a lot of officers that I can possibly talk to and get some info for you, although I'm sure there is a group on here for that. :]

How are you both feeling about it all? I assume that you're both in your at least early to mid twenties? Which really helps you out a lot to go through this and be mature about it all. You'll notice a lot of wives and gfs that are incredibly immature going through all this and those are the relationships that usually end up crumbling. Just don't worry if he doesn't communicate as soon as you think he should. One thing you'll learn about the Navy is that it's constantly changing and nothing is ever what you expect. You just have to learn how to roll with the punches. Might take you a while to figure out how exactly to do that and sometimes you might catch a right hook sometimes, but just gotta shake it off and get back up. :]

Hope that kinda helps.

[allybelle]

Thank you so much for your advice. A lot of people have told me that staying busy is the best way to get through everything. I know that once the first two weeks are over the rest will be better since we will be able to communicate in some form or fashion. :)

I completely agree with what you said about Murpheys law. I am ready to face whatever comes when it does... this life is like a completley different world than the one that I am used to... but I am extreemly excited about it. :)
It's really sad to hear that some relationships crumble during this time... I feel like its one of the most important for letting him know that you are going to be right there supporting him all the way and that you will be able to carry on at home with life.

Thank you so much again for your advice and for responding to by discussion. :)

[RightHereWaiting]

Lol, that's because it truly is the best way to pass time. I wrote letters everyday when my ex went through and even when I myself went! LOL!! I was bad. I'd sneak it at night when I was supposed to be sleeping. But it helped me make it through.

Yeah, Murphey's Law... Before Lee left his dad died, my car broke down, he only got paid $200 for that paycheck, had to learn how to drive a stick [his car] in 2 days. Blah! Then all the nonsense after that. Fuuuun times. I can't tell you how many times I hit rock bottom.. each bottom lower than the last. Oh joy. Things are finally better. Three months later. Lol!

One of the many important things is to constantly reassure one antoher your love. My husband and I do so daily and it really helps. He'll admit to me [the big tough guy he is] that he needs the reassurance. <3 It's hard when you're out there and people are constanly tell you "Janey/Johny is back home cheating on you with your best friend and all the rest of the neighborhood." I found out his Cheif had PULLED THEM ASIDE and told them this. I WAS PISSED! They're on a SHIP on DEPLOYMENT and need all the morale they can muster and this sorry A$$ leader of theirs goes and says that?! Pulls them aside just to tell them that!? And I know he's not speaking off of facts because I DEFINITELY haven't cheated on my husband and never would! I was tempted to email the captain myself but I know better and talked to the Ombudsman about it all.. I was livid.

Hey if you ever need anything just let me know. :] I'm not always on here as much as I like but I try.

[ForHimIWill]

Hi allybelle!

I am in the same boat....My husband just recently and It has been very difficult. My husband has not been away more than a weeks time. I miss him something terrible! I feel like I have no motivation to really get things started throughout the day. I wrote him a letter today. Don't have an address to send it to yet but it helped a little to be able to get it out, you know? I am new to REAL Navy life too with him having to leave. I'm hanging in there (not easy).