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I'm sooo upset, my husband and I have been separated for 4 and a half months...which wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have a 5 month old baby at home. He went to basic then straight to BESS in Groton, CT. He graduated BESS Oct. 8th and we are still waiting for orders. They are telling us that it could be due to the fact that this is the end of the Navy's fiscal year so they don't have money to move us at this time.

The dilemma: My husband wants us to pack up the car and move without orders... We live in KY and this is a 17hour drive. I am very tempted to do this, he said he can get a letter to be able to the barracks into housing and they will correct our BAH once I arrive and his food allowance (So he doesn't have to eat at the Galley).

I am wondering if anyone has any experience with this kind of thing? How long does it take for them to correct your BAH? If we moved, would the to move our things after we drove up, upon receiving orders?

I really appreciate any information, since I am in the dark and we can't get much out of anyone on base.

Respectfully,

Tasha

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Hi Tasha,
Being separated is never easy, but it is part of military life. My husband has been gone since our youngest baby was a week old. He is now 5 and a half months old and Daddy won't be home for a while still. I think I read in another area that your husband is in Groton. Normally sailors are not authorized to move their families for the time they are in school here, this is because they will not be here for enough time to make it worth the Navy's while financially. It costs them a lot of money to PCS families and if they did that for every new sailors family it would be far too expensive.

As far as BAH goes, it depends on how fast the people at PSD push your paperwork through. They are bogged down with a lot of different things and adding something that hasn't been previously approved to their pile won't make them happy.

Has your husband spoken to his command about moving you guys up here? He should speak with someone there and get some input from them before you make an decision on impulse.

I don't want to sound harsh, but you are a Navy wife now. Life is never going to be as it was before. Your husband belongs to the Navy and he is not always going to be home. At least you can speak to him everyday, once he is on a boat and deployed it can be over 2 months before you hear anything from him. Not trying to scare you at all, but really this is life in the military and truthfully school is the easy part. Deployments and life on a boat is more than a full time job for the guys.

Please have your husband talk to his command and get some answers from them. They will be able to give you a more definitive answer.

Welcome to the Navy. Glad you found this site, there are a lot of great resources here.

Respectfully,
EMCwife04
Hello EMCwife04,

Thank you for your input. Since he will be in school in Groton for one year, we are only waiting for orders, the issue is how long will it be before the orders are cut.

Also, he has tallked to many people at his command and we are hearing different things, my goal was to try and find someone on this site who knew something or someone I could call and get some information.

I understand that I am a Navy wife now, and school is I'm sure going to be the easiest part since we can talk...it's bittersweet because this is time that if we were living together he could watch his son grow up. And, for some reason his orders to move us out are delayed, they have said that the detailer is way behind, it's the end of the fiscal year, etc. etc. According to his instructors, the orders are normally out the week of BESS graduation....not the case for this class

So, we are trying to make a decision as to how long we should wait before we move ourselves if at all....
Sounds like the typical Navy scenario. Unfortunately that is just how it is. My kids and I have been trying to get to Guam to be with my husband since June. We *might* get there by Thanksgiving, so I do understand the frustration in delays especially since we DO have orders.

If it were us we would wait.
I'm really sorry about that...it's crazy that you have orders and can't get there?? If there was anything I could do...I would do it.

In the meantime, if you don't have skype, it's free to download and you can chat via webcam..probably already have it but I just found out about it and it's the next best thing.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Sincerely,
Tasha
Overseas orders are different, you have to pass screening and get command sponsorship. Very different than just moving around the US.
I'd be very wary of just moving out there. When I PCS'ed to San Diego I was told that if I didn't put in the paper work, have my meeting, basically do it the "Navy way" the Navy wouldn't pay for it. It might be different for you, I just know what my base told me.

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