I really need some help

[Lauren_L]

Brief intro, I now have 2 sons in the Navy.  Oldest graduated boot camp almost 2 yrs ago and is now in NY.  Younger brother just joined, left on October 6.  I've been divorced 3 years, boys lived with dad, youngest child still lives with me.

 

Here's the problem.  My ex recently remarried and after asking multiple times with him ignoring and stalling answering my request,  Ex just informed me last night that he "is not getting in the middle and will not share any information he received about our son in boot camp."   He's making it sound like my son does not want to communicate with me, which I know is not true.  When our oldest was in boot camp he sent all the info to his dad and his dad shared it with me, we even went to Great Lakes together for the graduation.  From what I've been reading the form letter they send out with unit and address and graduation date and a passcode for the gate is only sent to one parent to share with everyone else who needs it.  I only know that his graduation is suposed to be Dec 3 because Ex was trying to get me to change a court date that week because of it.

 

I am beyond upset that my Ex is trying to prevent me from going to our son's graduation.  Ex prevented me from seeing him the month before he left so I don't even know if my son brought my contact info to call or write me.  I would not put it past my Ex that he had my son not even put me on his guest list for graduation so his new wife and her child could attend.  I am trying to get ahold of my oldest son to find out their recruiter's name to call tomorrow, they both had the same one.  Can anyone tell me if there's a way to get the information I need to go to his graduation and find out who is on his guest list?  I can't believe his dad is being this cruel to hurt his own son this way just to get back at me.

 

Thank you for any help you can give, Lauren.

[Brenda Sue]

Have you written your son in boot camp? If you know what ship and division, the address is everywhere.
Can you ask your other son if he has communicated with him?

[Anti M]

Call the PAO office at RTC (public affairs @ recruit training, you should be able to google it). They might not give you his information, but they may give him yours.

Good luck.

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

here is the link to the PIR group http://www.navyformoms.com/group/pir12310

You need the password for the gate pass ony if you plan on driving onto base. You can take a taxi or shuttle and won't need it then. He puts 4 names on the guest list...those are guaranteed admission (12 and under doesn't count towards the 4) Those not on the list that come have to wait till everyone is seated...I've never heard of someone with proper ID not getting in.

The recruiter may be able to give you his address but d/t to privacy issues may not.

I'm sorry for your distress but try not to vent towards your son in any communication with him. He's under enough stress as it is he doesn't need to be worried about family dynamics.

[Lauren_L]

Thank you all, I'll be making calls tomorrow to see what I can find out. I remember my oldest son's graduation and if I didn't know his unit there is no way I would have found him out of the many graduates in the hall. I only live 3-4 hours away and will be driving. Thank you also for the reminder, I don't want to put my son in the middle of this conflict and it's good advice to hear again to keep always in the front of my mind.