When my son/daughter first spoke about joining the service I…

[Navy for Moms Admin]

Story Time anyone?
I know when you first join N4M’s one of our standard Q’s is: When my son/daughter first spoke about joining the service I…

And then usually there are the standard answers like:
Was concerned or afraid, Was confused, Needed to learn more about it, Was proud, Was relieved, Encouraged him/her, Said “No way!”

But I'm starting this thread- because I wanted to hear the stories and memories behind these standard answers! Things like: How did they bring it up to you? What was the reasoning? I see your responses to this question and I think things like "I wonder why they were confused. Or if they said “no way” how did still end up joining?" Heh. Plus, I think every mom on here has an interesting story to tell.
So (pretty please) take us back to that moment…

[Carolyn G. Ronca]

I was so excited!My older two sons need to learn independence-it is important for all of us to step out of our comfort zone and see what we are really capable of!
There are no "Safe" jobs. As much as we would like to THINK so. Only God knows our path in this life. Anyone with a teenager behind the wheel knows this. The sooner we understand this, the easier life becomes.

[Marybeth]

I don't remember my feelings exactly. I do remember in 2001, shortly after September 11, James said he wanted to go into the military. He was 11 1/2. The first words I said were "you don't know what the world is going to look like in 7 years". He said "You have to die anyway, you may as well die for your country". OUCH.

Not much was said about it for quite a while. He struggled in middle school, both with his grades and trying to fit in. When he went to high school, he signed up for JROTC - that came as a shock to me. He loved it, and he thrived in it. His grades improved, he loved being on the Drill Team...

Just as his sophomore year was starting we relocated to Florida. He transferred into the JROTC unit at his high school and there hasn't been any stopping him. He just graduated, but was the Batallion Commander in senior year. But I digress...

I guess it was around the sophomore year when he said he wanted to join when he was 17 and go to BC over the summer. I was totally and completely against it - I told him that wasn't how he wanted to spend his last summer of "childhood".

It was probably over a year ago now that he started asking me when would I sign his DEP papers for the Navy. I had no idea what DEP was (or much else related to the Navy). My initial reaction was "at least it's not the Army or Marines". Now, don't get me wrong - I fully support and admire ALL our troops; but to know that he wouldn't be put "directly" into harms way made me feel a little better.

When he announced at 11 p.m. one night that the recruiter would be there the next day, hubby flipped. I kept telling James to go into the Reserves, get his degree, then go into the Navy. Oh how ignorant I was!!! Both hubby and I felt much more at ease after speaking to the recruiter.

It was still a couple of months before I agreed to sign the papers. He had had them for several weeks, and kept telling me I was blowing his chances at the scholarship (that was plan B - NROTC scholarship to a local college then active duty), that he was trying to plan for his future, blah blah blah. I had the folder in my possession, and I was going to sign them when I was good & ready!!!

I don't remember how he finally convinced me to sign them - but I do remember that I was here at work and signed them and he came and picked them up from me. He said "thanks" and started to run out the door - I stopped him. "Don't I at least deserve a hug for this??!!" He did - and he said "you don't know what this means to me...". So of course I said "you have NO idea what this means to me!!!"

To add a little drama to the story, his grandfather (ex-Navy) has been hounding him about college and the scholarships, and really stressing him out. He didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't want to go to traditional college. Besides - he'll get his degree in the Navy and get paid while he's at it!!

Cut to 7 months later - he was scheduled to depart on July 11th (and had been since November). A new recruiting team comes to town, and they encouraged him to apply for the Nuke program (the previous ones said his math grades were too low). He took the test on June 10th, and on the 12th, with a 93 ASVAB and 59 out of 80 questions right on the Nuke test, HE GOT IN! The downside is there aren't any Nuke openings until January - but he has to leave for bootcamp by November 17th, when his DEP is up.

He is "so done with civilian life", and can't wait to go. Maybe it was the Catholic school upbringing, but he really does seek out the discipline. (How many times did I hear "I hate wearing a uniform!!"??)

Me, I'm not complaining that he's still on the computer till all hours of the night, or letting the dishes pile up in his room. He is a great kid, and except for his fresh mouth has never really given me any trouble at all. Everyone tells me how proud I should be of my sons (his younger brother, 15 1/2, also thrives in the JROTC, but will not be able to join the military due to medical issues.)

I tell them "I AM!!"

Wow! I didn't think I'd have that much to write!!! I've enjoyed reading everyone else's stories, I'm so glad we have this website!!

Marybeth - really, really proud mom of James.

[Navy for Moms Admin]

Marybeth- Thank you for sharing your story with us! (I really read your entire story) :D CC

[Anti M]

When I learned that my nephew was going into the Nuke program, I was relieved and happy, even overjoyed. There's never enough money for college, and good jobs are scarce.

To understand why I am so happy, you have to know a little bit of our family history. My grandfather was a Marine in World War One, a true purple heart hero who lost one leg and ended up in Hollywood as a movie extra (Check out Captain Blood to see him). He died of cancer in 1941; my father was only 18. He joined the Navy and was very nearly at Pearl Harbor. Three wars; WWII, Korea and Vietnam. He retired as a Master Chief. All of my brothers were the right age for Vietnam, one joined the Army as a linguist specialist in Mandarin Chinese (he has since died of cancer), one went into the Air Force and one stayed in college.

In the 70s, I was just 21 and my parents were working in Saudi Arabia; I had no job and they'd quit paying for college because I was, well, underachieving. Let's say the scene in Animal House where the one kid has a 0.0? It's possible. I went to the recruiter and blew the ASVAB out of the water. I passed the Nuke exam also, but at the time women couldn't be assigned to combat ships. I knew my math and science was weak so I went for ET, Advanced Electronics instead of Nuclear Power. The recruiter took me down to the local community high school and turned my two years of college into a real high school diploma instead of my GED, which would have kept me out of the program. I wasn't dumb, I was adventurous and too smart for my own good. I was savvy enough to know that what was in the contract was of supreme importance. I called my parents, my dad's advice was "Don't go in the hole on your leave." Good advice. Means don't take borrowed leave, only use what you have on the books no matter how much you want time off to go visit your family.

I took to the Navy and did well; made E-5 quickly and E-6 the second time around, right around six years. Dad was so proud, although he did let it slip he hadn't thought I'd make it through boot camp. I was stationed in Japan for years, and ended up there again and again. I didn't mind, I love Japan.

While I was stationed in Diego Garcia, I was relieving another first class petty officer. Even though he transferred shortly after we met, we stayed in touch and married and have now been together for 22 years. I did nine years, he did the full 20. We were the same rate, rank and NEC, so getting stationed together was difficult. We saw each other a total of 28 DAYS in the first two years we were married. I didn't re-enlist again so I could follow him.

Fast forward: one of our young friends, who was only 21 at the time, stayed with us for a few months. He knew people in the military and he got to see the retirement benefits close-up when he lived in our spare bedroom. He joined the Navy ... as an ET, just like us! He is now an E-5 and stationed on the USS Dubuque, my hubby's old ship! He met a Master Chief who was a visiting detailer in Glakes, and as it turns out, the chief had been working for hubby on that very same ship so long ago. Tell you what, the Navy can sure follow you around. In a weird twist, the guy who installed our phone a couple days ago was also stationed on the Dubuque with hubby. We're in Utah, not a Navy town, so that's a real long-shot on odds.

I don't have kids of my own, my step-son, who I barely know, is a radiology tech in the Army. So when my nephew told us he was going to boot camp in October, into the nuke program, I was really happy ... for him, and for our family. Mom did geneaology so I know we've had military members since the War of 1812. Now we have another generation, and into what I consider the best branch! Yes, I'm biased, Go Navy! And he might get ET at that ... Yay! Yup, I'm biased.

[Vic]

This is a very cool story....thanks for sharing it. I'm glad your nephew followed the family's footsteps....My son did also....I had two brothers and one sister, all in the Navy. We have other branches represented, but like you...I'm biased for the Navy.

[Barbara's Page]

Hi everyone,
I see we're getting requested for our stories. I'll be happy to tell mine.
Last summer (2007) only joking around, my older daughter's friend brought the Navy up, to my daughter Kim. You see, my kim is a fish in the summer, we have our on beach where we live. All three of my kids, literaly live in the water.
Kim, who is now a sailor, I still can't beleive it, she even took a course in life guarding. That why the girls, last year where joking about Kim becoming a Navy SEAL.
Then we all watched the movie, "The Guardian". That clinched the idea in Kim's head. She was of age, and went on her own to the Navy recruiting station.
When she told me , of course I was frigthened, the U.S. is still in war with Iraq. That was my only thought. My friends and I did try to talk Kim out of this, only because we're still in war. My daughter made up her mind, and that's that. All I could tell her at that point, "If you like the Military life, it is a wonderful career".
When we saw Kim at graduation, all I could do is cry, I was so proud of her. All us parents can do is just back our children's decision up. Our babies are grown now, it's time for them to spread their wings and go solo in this world. We did our job raising them to the best of our ability. Now it's all in God's hands. I pray every night for Kim's safety.
When we had Liberty weekend with Kim, after the graduation, I asked her if she's happy with a decision. She said she is happy. My response was, "As long as your happy, we are all happy for you !" Then I hugged her until she couldn't breath......poor baby !!
Oh, by the way, she's not training to be a Navy Seal, instead she'll be an Operational Specialist. Fine with me, I can sleep a little easier knowing that !
So that's my story. Happy to help out anytime !!
Take care to everyone reading. Remember ......"GO NAVY !!!!"
Barbara Gambichler

[Pam Hicks]

My son never mentioned he was thinking about the Navy; it was always college. Then one day, the recruiter called asking for "Charlie." Since my son is the third, I had to ask which "Charlie" he was interested in speaking with. I was shocked by the call, but really curious about his thoughts on joining the military as my father, who was very close to my son, was in the Maryland National Guard for more than 40 years. (What was strange was that I almost felt relief because he was interested in the Navy and not one of those "hard-core" branchs.) I immediately called my husband who was as surprised as I was. Two days later, we were in the recruiting office and my son made the decision to join. He still talked about attending college and pursuing NROTC, but after taking the defense language test, he made the decision to go right in. He was offered eligibility into CTI training and has decided to pursue his college degree after completion of that training. We are very proud and honored for him to be provided this opportunity!
Pam

[Seabee Dtr]

My son 1st thought of it in HS he wanted to go to the academy. He went for the summer program his junior year and then went through the whole registration process. My dad was diagnosed with cancer the summer before his senior year so Jimmy decided to stay home to be close to my dad for as long as possible. he went to community college for 2 yrs then transferred to a university got an apartment with friends for 2 years and decided he was going nowhere so he dropped out of college and joined the navy. My dad and uncle had been in the navy, so we called my uncle and he talked to another Sr Chief that was on their navy website anad Sr Chief Raymond came and helped Jimmy (and us) through the process. My uncle has been retired for over 10 yrs and is online every day with other navy people. We are happy with his decision. We just want all the kids to do what they think will make them happy. My mom and I have been going thru all her old pictures now and pulling out all my dads old navy photos, its great to see where he was stationed and how things were then. I hope my son loves it as much as my dad did.

[Teri]

I think Andrew has always wanted to be inthe Navy to some extent--my mom and dad wee both in and he has just grown up around it--but it was a long process coming---His Sr year of high school the Navy approched him about signing and going to school , their buck and then serving --he thought long and hard but wanted to go to college on his own and party I guess, as he did his fair share!!! The war started while he was in college and he begged us to let him join the ROTC program at his college and we would not let him--at that point he thought college was all about the activities he was in not the classes he was in--we thought he was over loaded. Time went on and yes he did graduate--finally--with two degrees not just one--and he got involved with a little girl for several years--he always mentioned going in but she said No no way --and that was that---several months ago they finally broke up and i was talking to him and I said " You know andrew, this would be a great time to join the Navy and be a SEAL, it is always what you wanted. You have a decent job but nothing great, you ve nothing here to tie you down so go and do it" He said yeah he would give it some thought and that was all we heard---a few weeks later--he called us and said--" Hey guess what? I am at a recruiters and i am leaving for MEPS next week--I am going for it Mom"---He has been in DEP ever since and leaves 30 Sept for GL---I am proud of him--but I knew it was something he always wanted to do--I guess the time was just never right until now.

[Sheepie]

Mark had some troublesome high school years, getting into trouble but nothing too serious. Still, he didn't seem to have a plan for himself other than he did NOT want to go to college.

On July 14, 2007 he was involved in a serious car accident. He was T-boned on the drivers side and had injuries all along his left side, including a fractured hip. During his recovery, I told him that there was a reason he was not taken from us and HE needed to figure out what that was. A short time later, he told me that after he was able to walk on his own, he wanted to go into the local Navy recruiting office.

And that was it. He's been full speed to becoming a sailor ever since. He fully recovered from all his injuries, got his medical clearance, graduated from high school in June and leaves in 2 weeks for boot camp.

Not only am I thankful that he was not taken from us, but also that he found and chose his own path. I'm very proud of him.

[Teri]

Hey Sheepie, that is a wonderful story--congrats on your son--give him a big hug for me and tell him he did good!!!

[Mary-Ellen & Tim]

Greetings All:

Bre was not certain what she wanted to do after high school. We spoke often with her about her options, including doing 2 years of Liberal Arts at one of several community colleges in our area, at least getting a two year Associates Degree.

Several times we suggested that she join one of the services, and the Navy in particular. You have to understand that we had Tim's daughter from a previous marriage and we had two boys and a daughter we'd lost in infancy. So, when Bre was born she was going to be our (Mom's in particular) girlie-girl. Ruffles, bowties, frilly frills, and all the other things. The suggestion to join the Navy was more of a tease than anything else. Her response was always that, "I can't join the Navy because the first time they get in my face and scream at me I'll break down and cry. I'd never make it through boot camp."

Well, fast forward to January of 2007 and things were turned topsy-turvy one afternoon when she returned home from school in her senior year. Bre announced to us that she was enlisting in the Navy with a girl friend of hers who wanted to be a welder. She asked that we sign the permission papers necessary and to meet her recruiter (CPO Hope). Well, after literally picking myself (Mary-Ellen) off the floor from the shock and Tim just raising his eyebrows, and very calmly saying that if you are really sure and committed it was fine with him, we asked her to be sure she understood what she was doing and that she would be supported by us. As the mother, of course, I could see more of the hard parts, while Tim took everything in and weighed everything.

Well, CPO Hope came over on a very cold weekday evening and we spend about two hours going over everything. We covered the Navy's expectations, Bre's expectations, and, yes, our expectations as well. Bre was certain and committed and determined and that she was going to be assigned to Japan after GL and "A" School. CPO Hope had served her first posting in Japan herself and was very encouraging to Bre. Well, you know the rest of the story for the day - we signed her papers and she started her DEP involvement.

When we did the official paperwork in Albany, NY she did her tests and was given several options, including MA and engine service job opportunities. MA was, of course, her first and only choice. LOL!!! Talk about walking in confidence and faith!!! What has been really a blessing is that the senior officer in charge of the Albany District had previously been involved with us in doing a career shadowing program, so he made it seem so extra special when Bre was sworn in. Even though he wasn't able to snag her for his Marines, he's been thoughtful of us as well, but not to the level as CPO Hope.

We want to encourage all who are in N4M with a loved one already in the Navy (GL / A School, or at a posting) to be supportive of the DEP program in your recruiting area, even if it is to offer to be there for someone who enlists as there are many who enlist but have no one to be there for their swearing in. One never knows for sure why this happens, but it was nice to be there to encourage someone without a family there. We know it was appreciated by several who were there in those circumstances. If you have a loved one currently in the DEP, please be very supportive and encouraging. Bre had to be pushed at times and she resented it, but, in the end, it served her well. To her, boot camp was a cakewalk. She felt so well prepared that boot camp, in her estimation, was anticlimatic. Also, the recruiters could really use help in doing a better job of doing picnics and other socially related activities for families. Let's face it, no one is perfect at everything. It was nice to be able to help out or even offer to help.

What was especially gratifying was that when Bre's friend, who had originally gotten her to enlist, had backed out, she decided that she had made a commitment and was determined to follow through. She has never appeared to have had any regrets whatsoever. What has turned out so well is that she has matured so very much. What a difference between the time she went to GL to the time of her PIR. John Paul Jones would be proud of her and her commitment. Bre has gone from a girlie girl to a mature, determined, and committed young woman sailor. She now has an incredible level of confidence in her abilities and, considering no one gave her a chance of getting through "A" School, the courage and strength to be whatever she wants to be. CPO Hope and the other recruiters as well as the Marine Colonel in charge of the Albany recruiting district kept encouraging to realize she will only get out of the Navy what she's willing to invest in the Navy. She has taken that to heart and she's been thriving ever since.

Our apologies if this is too long, but we, as Bre's parents, have also learned a lot as well. We're very proud of Bre and the Albany Recruiting District personnel, and her main recruiter, CPO Hope.

Respectfully,

Mary-Ellen & Tim