is it true a nuke cant get marred for 2 years?

[taytheblackcat]

im not a nuke mom but im a nuke girlfriend. we have been dating for 6 years now & when i asked about getting married he said he couldn't have a change in his dependency status for 2 years. is this true? if so y?

 

[taytheblackcat]

sorry if i seemed like a know it all. i know theres alot for me to learn. but i have been an observer of life for the past 9 years. one can learn alot just by watching. lol i also was raised by a physiology nut who passed all his weird observing tenancies to me. & im one of teh most curious people i know. more than one person has told me im the cat curiosity kills to which i often reply yes but at least my death was satisfying lol. most people that meet me think im like 27 not 22 even when i was a teenager people thought i was a good bit older than i was. i have alwase asked questions & wanted to know how things work. guess thats why i have watch people so much i alwase find it intriguing how people interact down to the simplest things like hand movements while talking. what can i say ive alwase been a black sheep among black sheep.

[linda6321]

My sailor says that when they get back to class he should talk to his SLPO to clarify the details.

[Margaret Nuke Mom]

my nuke student son says it is not true.  people on base have already gotten married.  unless he has some unusual circumstances that we don't know about....

sorry.

Margaret 

[taytheblackcat]

dont be sorry & quite frankly you all know bout as much as i do. least thats how it feels. i dont plan on getting married he hasn't even proposed or anything like that. i just wanted to know more about what is going on im kinna dazed & confused cause everything has happened so fast. he sighed up bout mid September & its been first one thing then another & then he was gone all a sudden like. i saw him off to boot camp Monday the 14th. so im just trying to get the tangled mass of info he has given me straightened out by asking questions of people that hopefully have awnsers.

[AriannaR]

I hope it is not true, my boyfriend starts his "A" school to become a Nuke in February, we have been together for the last 5 years, and he says marriage is not far away. I have been told that the school is very hard and they need to focus, I do not mind putting anything on hold for him, because I love him. I just want to help him succeed and do his best. Anyways I was prepared for this when my boyfriend came home saying Navy.

[taytheblackcat]

yah i know how ya feel it was the same for me. we were best friends for 4 years befor we started dating & we baised our relation ship off of our strong friend ship. all told we have been close for 10 years but really dating for only 6. about 1 & 1/2 years ago he said he had been thinkin bout gettin married even had me kinna shop around to look for a ring. but thinks just never got off the ground. when he told me he has something important he wanted to ask me about i thought maybe that was it but it turned out to be about joinin the navy. he felt his life wasnt going the way he wanted & decided teh navy would be the best option for him. i was really glad when he said that he was gonna join the navy military rather than teh army or teh other branches. ive always liked teh navy better pluse my grandpa was a sailer so i told him i thought it was a good idea  even suggested he talk to my grandpa bout it. im happy things are gonna look up for him in the mean time i feel like im stuck here holding the bag & feeling broken hatred. i dont mind not gettin married for a good while yet i hadnt even given thought to the matter of a hasty wedding seeing as everything eles in my life takes a while but it would have been nice to be engaged is all. so here i sit like a lost dog waiting to hear from him. whoever said women are teh weaker sex was wrong...

[Sharon ~ K's Mom]

 

Like everyone is saying, it is not true. Our son just started "A" school in the last couple of weeks, he came home for Christmas leave on the 18th and he and Kelsey got married on the 22nd. They did their housing papers, faxed down what they needed to, he called them to confirm they received everything needed and they have a house waiting for them upon their return. So, it can be done................wishing you all the best!

[NM Loreta-Ship11,Div002 PIR11/19]

Sadly..this is not true.  I can tell you from a bad experience that this is not true...

[taytheblackcat]

sadly? if ya dont mind me asking why sadly? if u dont wanna answer thats ok 2.

[BunkerQB]

taytheblackcat,

You have gotten some straight answers. What you need is some straight answers from your man - an area which unfortunately, we can't help you with. However, as a mom who is old enough to be your grandma. I have a few other suggestions:

1. You'll need to give him space - to do his thing. First of all, he has to get through bootcamp, then A school, Power school and Prototype - 2 long years of intense studying and learning.
2. It would be highly beneficial for YOU to have goals of your own. He is starting out on a journey to become a better person - do something professional. If he is not ready for marriage or possibly even get engaged, then you need to find your passion and follow that, even if it takes you away from him for awhile.  You will have more to say. You will find out things about yourself that you didn't know. You appear to have a great deal of empathy. Have you thought of a career in social work or nursing?  My nephew's wife is a nurse RN - she make almost 6 figures per year.
3. Nukes are notorious for being obtuse when it comes to communicating about affairs of the heart. They think if the subject matter had crossed their minds, then you automatically got the same thought by osmosis and do not need an explanation. Sound familiar?  Hey, I gave birth to one - so I know.
4. A Nukes may appear to be an insensitive clod - and sometimes he even act like one - but deep inside, beats a rather sensitive individual - and will depend on his loved ones to buffer him from the rest of the world. It's a tall order. But definitely worth it.

My apologies for bending your ear - like many nuke moms (and wives, fiancees and gfs), we can talk about our nukes endlessly. For me it's probably because mine just left after a short leave and I won't see him until Aug of next year.

Take care. BQB.

[taytheblackcat]

i understand about giveing him space. i hadent planed on pushing the subject of marrage or anything cause i know he will be working hard. as for a goal of my own thats hard to do. my goal right now is make it through tomorrow with out something happening things are never bad enough they cant get worse. why the Sunday before Christmas my grandma spent the whole day in teh ER & now she & i both have teh stomach flue which is bad enough for normal people but we both have had our immune systems destroyed so we get alot sicker than normal. i have fibromyalgia & it keeps me from doing alot of things normal 22 year olds do & i get brow beat alot about how people can over come disabilities & its true they can but it takes time & fibromyalgia is not something people understand as a disability because it not something that can be seen like a crippel or blind. but the every day pain & fatigue for me is crippling. this is why im still at home. i also help take care of my grandparents. my grandma has had cancer in her limphnods twice & my grandpa has just recently been treated for colon cancer as well as fighting diabetes. we all 3 are sick & take care of each other. as for becoming a rn or social worker i REALLY dont like people sorry. & i know what ya mean about the way nukes are. i may not seem it on here but in the real world i am much the same. i had to grow up fast & have had some hard knocks. when others first meet me many are put off & see me as anti social i only have 2 friends & one of them is my nuke... always been kinna a loner i guess. i have had a few people tell me im scary ( not sure y lol) & several think im mean because im a littel too blunt & honest. what friends i do have learned a long time ago to take what i say with alot of salt. even several of my close family members think im made of stone. my mom, brother, & cousins foremost among these. but when my nuke when away they saw that even stone brakes & because of teh hardened kind of person i am when i brake i brake hard. my nuke was the only person i relayed on emotionally. in the past 6 years he has been the only one to see me cry. even when my other grandma died of cancer 2 years ago i ether cried alone or on him. we were the buffer for each other. we use to joke that we got together to make each other tolerable for the rest of the world. i appresheate the comments. i didn't mean to seem ungrateful if i did. im not teh most tactful person sorry ^^; when my nuke goes to school i probbly wont get to seem him more than a few times in the whole 2 years he is there so i feel for ya there. but im kind of use to not seeing people. i once had to go 2 years with out seeing my mom or little brother at all even on holidays.

[BunkerQB]

I guess you just have to take one day at a time. Hope being able to writ about it helps. Some people love having a gazillion people around other prefer just the company of a few. Be yourself. If you have to change to be with someone or be friends with someone then it's not worth it. As for your fibromyalgia, wow - pain and fatigue everyday. I know nothing of the disease. Having been a high energy person all my life (some would even say hyper type A LOL), that would be really, really hard. Take care. Hope everything goes well for you and your sailor.