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Newly married sailors not allowed to live off ship while at Great Lakes?
Anyone know about a new rule forbidding newly married sailors in A school at Great Lakes to live off ship with their wives? My son filled out all the paperwork and followed all the rules in order to get married during the holidays. He is now being told that none of the requests for permission to live off ship will be approved because of someone using off ship housing as a party house for underage sailors. Any suggestions?
Views: 1524
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mrs.B_Div 302_Ship9 on
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That is the way it was when my hubby and I were up there about 1 month ago. There is nothing you can do but just do what they say. If he feels that he is reaching this decision by error and wants, he can go up in his chain of command, but I would highly suggest him NOT doing that. If his LPO and whoever else is above him in his ship is saying "no" then I'd just leave it alone for a while. I'm SO sorry this is happening, but that is what I ran into while we were there and we even went through a birth for our 1st son while he was there.
If your daughter in law needs someone to talk with you can send her my way and I can answer some of her questions probably. I was up there for 7 months and might be able to help.
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Permalink Reply by jems on
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I know he is seriously thinking about changing his plan of making the Navy his career to working out his time and moving on. He has done everything asked of him and is excelling in school. He was told by his recruiter he was not allowed to get married before going to bootcamp. Now he is being told that because a very young couple was allowing underaged sailors to hang out and get into trouble at their home everyones paperwork is being rejected without being looked at case by case. He is not a teenager away from home for the first time.
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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time and time again, he will go back and forth weather he will stay or go after his time is up. People say they aren't going to stay when things don't go as they want them too. It happens all the time.
Not to be rude, but your son might not be able to stay even if he wants to. There are many different programs that are seperating sailors at the end of their contract.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Are they pulling the ones who already have their Live Ashore approved, or just the ones who are asking now?
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Per the coding on their PCS orders from bootcamp to "A" School they are single sailors and to live in the barracks. When they get married after they are under orders the commands do not have to allow them to live ashore as their order coding doesn't change.
He can put in paper work to reqest to see the higher COC, but....I would recommend againts that in these cases. Have that young sailor talk to the LPO of the barracks.
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I don't think he is asking for something he wasn't promised. He is looking for a straight answer. He is working hard and staying out of trouble. I also believe it would be a bad idea to go up the COC, but this may be a lesson he has to learn the hard way.
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I didn't say he was asking for something he was promised, not sure where you got that from in my post. I just stated how things are done.
If you are saying your son was promised live ashore than he needs to provide that papere work that states that to his COC.
As for punshing everyone when a small group messes up, that is and has been the USN way for years. He will find that out when he goes to a ship, if one dept fails an inspection the whole ship stays. If one person in the division messes up, they all get "talked to".
Things change all the time. There is an instuction at TSC (where he is at) called the "Blue and Gold" That is the instuction that they go by, it is what is called a living document. Which means it is always changing. Sorry no, I can't post a link to that instruction as that is on the command drive and not for public use.
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Thanks Angie. I didn't think you said anything about him asking for something he wasn't promised. I'll pass on the Blue and Gold information. His LPO actually has been helpful and explained what is going on.
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It is hard being at any command but even harder when you are a junior person and an adult who was used to living on there own prior to joining the military. Why do I say that, 'cause some of the people can't seem to understand when they joined the military they gave up their rights to do what they want when they want and how they want. There is the civilian way and there is the Navy way of doing things. It sometimes takes young Sailors years to understand the Navy way, and/or why things are done. There is always a reason for things that happen and are done in the Navy, just sometimes young Sailors don't/won't/or doesn't want to understand them. There life is no longer just about them, it is about the what is good for the whole group. Than when they bring a spouse and family into the mix it gets even harder as the Sailor will just be starting to understand things and can't quite explain them to other people. Than the spouse wants what they want, which isn't always in line with what the Navy will do.
Does that make sense?
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Of course. It's not going to hurt my son or his new wife to have to wait to live together. We wanted them to plan the wedding for after he was completely finished with school, but they seemed to think stand down was a good time. The Navy life is new to all of us and we will learn. Lots of good information on this site. Very helpful.
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When he is completely finished with school, he will get his orders. Not being married when you get your orders means you get unaccompanied orders, and your new bride is not eligible for a move with you. If he got orders overseas, she'd not be going with him, and they would have to live apart for two to three years. Marrying during the stand down makes perfect sense from a Navy perspective.
They were right, looking ahead like that.
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