need some reassurance, please!

[SonandSea]

Hi Nuke moms! My son signed his contract in Nov. He will be graduating in June and is leaving for boot camp in early August. He scored very well on his testing and is excited about becoming a nuke (MM). 

I am getting so freaked out about the schooling. I have read the worst things about about how terribly hard and stressful this program is. You hear of high rates of attrition, mental break-downs and even suicides. YIKES! 

My son is bright, but has never had to study. He is very motivated and is excellent at problem solving. His grades are just okay, but he tests very well.

He is a hard worker (when he is interested in the subject or sees a reason for learning said subject) and an innovative thinker. He has a entrepreneurial spirit and loves to think of new and better ways to do things, which might not be so great in the Navy.   He has friends and a sweet girlfriend, but had no desire for the college scene. He wants to get on with his career. 

I worry about his lack of study skills and the stress. I am hoping you all can "talk me down"! LOL! I am a positive thinker and I do believe he can succeed, but I am having a moment! 

I tell myself that most sailors make it through this program. Ah, help me out here, ladies!! :)

thanks so much! ♥

~dale 

sonandsea.blogspot.com

[Gulf Coast Mom]

Dale - start now buying cute thinking of you/encouagement cards for when your son is in bootcamp.  By the time my son went to boot camp I had a whole box full.  Every once in a while I would buy a "good" (Hallmark) card, but normally just looked whenever I was out at the card rack. There are even cards geared to kids - anything will be appreciated.  But, if you start buying them now, you can take a few with you to work when the time comes and can jot a note anytime you want.  As far as the nuke program, my son has been in almost three years now.  He was a little older when he went in (22) but did not know what he wanted to do, in his words - was not "passionate" about anything. In high school he played soccer and was in the choir and did little theater.  He got OK grades, but charmed his way thru some of his classes. He had a full scholarship to Ole Miss and was living in the honor dorm.  He came home at the end of first semester with a 0,4 average.  As of now, he does not intend to reenlist, but says the Navy has done for him what he could not do for himself - teach him how to study.  He will tell you - I needed the discipline and I have learned it. I do think it is important for them to have an outlet - whether sports, video games, but find something to do to "destress" on their off time. It is a roller coaster ride for sure, but being able to come to the site virtually 24 hours a day is great.  Someone will either be going thru what you are or already been thru it.  Start saving your money now to be able to go to his PIR - looks like probably some time in October if he leaves in August.   

[Penny_Nuke_MM2_NimitzNuke]

Gulf Coast Mom .... 0.4 okay, now that is hilarious but so typical, unfortunately.  My son went away to a Christian boarding academy his sophomore year of high school and his grades went down to a 1.4.  Needless to say, he came home !!!! 

 

With regard to cards, I didn't send my son very many cards, but instead every day I sat at the computer and typed.  I shared poems, stories of what others that went before him went through but MOST OF ALL, I sent him questionnaires.  I found that he would never respond to letters with questions, but if I sent him a questionnaire, he would fill it out without fail.  I got back 7 questionnaires completely filled out with all kinds of additional information written in the margins.  He even drew pictures.  If you would like some great questionnaires, there are plenty on the N4Ms site and I have many as well.  Or, you can make up your own or some combination.

 

Most of all, encourage them, tell him you love him and how proud you are of him. 

[SonandSea]

Oh~ I LOVE the idea of questionnaires!!! How clever! I will look for them! 

And no worries on the encouragement and pride. This boy is my heart! ♥ 

thanks~dale ♥

[SonandSea]

Thank you GulfCoastMom~ I appreciate your advice! I will start gathering cards (I know~ nothing that plays music or sprinkles glitter! ~LOL!). 

Sounds like the Navy has been a real plus for your son. That is great to hear! All of these success stories are warming my heart. 

We already have a chunk-o-change set aside for PIR and yes... should be mid-October. Lord, please let it be before the snow starts! I hate the cold!! :) This is nuts, but I already know what I'm going to wear! Found the most perfect Navy blue double-breasted jacket... My sister said, "Your son is going in the Navy, not you!" LOL! 

thanks again~Dale ♥

ps~ I have started a blog about my Navy experience thus far ... http://sonandsea.blogspot.com/

 

[Penny_Nuke_MM2_NimitzNuke]

Dale, send me your email address and I'll forward to you all of the questionnaires that I put together for my son.  [e-mail]

[SonandSea]

Oh, thank you!!!!!! [e-mail]

How can I add you as a friend on here???

[Penny_Nuke_MM2_NimitzNuke]

Sent invitation to be my friend on here and also sent email to you with lots of fun stuff.

[SonandSea]

You rock, Penny! Thanks and big hugs! ♥

 

[Wendy (nuke mom)]

They need just as much support during nuke school as they did during boot camp, if not more. At NNPTC they can receive care packages. I was talking on the phone with my son & told him that I had sent a package. He almost giggled when I said "yes" to his question "Does it have baked goods?". These guys can buy just about anything around there but they can't buy Mom's home made brownies & chocolate chip cookies. Our phone converstaions where short if I was the one making the call. It was so much better if I asked him to phone home via text or voice messages during times when I knew he was in class or studying so he could call me when he was in the mood to talk.

With all the stress of nuke school some do become depressed. My son did. They have to learn difficult materials at an intense pace - the navy needs them in the fleet ASAP. In addition, they need to learn how to function under stress so they can still perform at their best on their ship when unplanned sressful situations arise.

Seeing others being dropped from nuke school after telling the staff they were depressed, my son was afraid to say anything about his depression. He now realizes he could have accessed help by using the right words. He could have asked for help in dealing with the stress without jeopardizing his standing as a nuke. He didn't tell me he was so stressed & eventually depressed because he knew I was so proud of him & didn't want to disappoint me. Tell your sailors it's OK to admit they are stressed. One of my son's opinioins: The navy spends an incredible amount of money to put them through nuke school and they want to protect their investment by graduating as many as possible. Once they join the fleet they are needed & considered even more "valuable" to the navy so it's easier to get help without negative effects.  

[Penny_Nuke_MM2_NimitzNuke]

Funny you talk about home baked goodies, Wendy.  Just now talking to my son and he said "Please don't send cookies, the food is so good here that I don't need the additional calories, in fact I could use to lose a few pounds."  lol

[SonandSea]

LOL!! I've also heard they are fed well at nuke school. :)

[SonandSea]

Wendy ~ Thanks so much for sharing. I hope things are going well for your son now. I do hope the Navy takes this sort of thing seriously and is moore proactive in offering assistance to sailors.

I'm sure the care packages are very special and a real "taste of home".

thank you~Dale ♥